By con135 - 13/01/2015 01:16 - United States - Farmingdale

Spicy
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 009
You deserved it 10 296

con135 tells us more.

Needless to say she still makes fun of me for this, when she asks me for something she will say something like,"can you firmly grasp that soda and hand it to me?"

Top comments

I'm hoping it didn't end up the way it did on the show, anyway.

Comments

Don't laugh too much, you may break your laugh box

incoherentrmblr 21
octinate 17

This is when you realise that you're too young to be doing stuff like that

@116, I'm an 18 year old guy and I still enjoy Spongebob ? and I'm not alone

I'm hoping it didn't end up the way it did on the show, anyway.

tantanpanda 26

A jellyfishing pole through a pole... ouch.

*through a tentacle. Good try, though.

neutralize 12

Off topic, but I snorted on my water when I saw your username. Rocks, indeed...

Too soon, man. But seriously, guess I didn't think it through... Oh well, too late now!

JFC your comment made me almost piss myself. I still can't stop laughing.

lexiieeex3 32

If he's quoting sponge bob then maybe OP's too young for hand jobs...

My nickname I got in pole vault is spongebob for reasons that shall not be revealed, and I'm nearly 18. One is never too old to drop a spongebob reference.

am i the only one here who doesn't care for the show?

25 You are never too young for Spongebob!

xninix_fml 36

Listen to the pitch of his response for your answer.

Am I the only one who remembers that in order to get squidward to firmly grasp the jelly fish net, Patrick rammed the net through squidwards hand. Let's hope that in OP's situation they didn't have to resort to Patricks methods....

Was your last resort to use a Krusty sock?

If you both get "SpongeBob" references, then neither of you are old enough to start fooling around.

Rawrshi 25

I'm nearly 20 and I get Spongebob references; also quite old enough to fool around. That episode in particular came out in 1999-2000, guy. :P

I hate to tell you this but I'm 23 and even I knew that reference.

I turn 26 in 3 months...I remember that episode from elementary school

LostInTheZone11 29

I looked it up and the episode with that quote came out in 1999 so #16 would be around 10 years old, so it makes sense.

I'm not the biggest fan of the show, but spongebob is actually full of thinly veiled innuendos that makes it entertaining for an older audience as well as a younger one. If you watch through an episode try to find the innuendos it's pretty funny when you find them.

31! Know the reference. many older people watch cartoons.

danceinconverse 25

Uh there are these things called re-runs? I'm 16 and I saw that episode in elementary school.

taybear0 14

spongebob came out in '95. it is perfectly acceptable that those who watched spongebob as a kid are now at a reasonable age to have sex

I too am 23, but have no shame in getting that reference! :-)

maybe what they are trying to say is if you are laughing about SpongeBob references during sex then you're probably not mature enough to be having it.

skyttlz 32

I'm 20 and I watch and quote Spongebob

Hell they could have KIDS that watch the show. ever think of that? I can tell you references from cartoons that weren't even out when I was a kid because I have my own kids.

giantsfan2010 23

What is there to be nervous about? Sit back and enjoy! You'll look back on this moment and laugh in the future though!