Health: Today, I heard something you don't want to hear at the dentist:...

By Aseemann - Denmark - Svendborg

Today, I heard something you don't want to hear at the dentist: "I need a bigger drill." FML

I agree, your life sucks

3748

You deserved it

319

Favorite

Health

Miscommunication

F is for Family

Oh, he's a "Nice Guy"

By kierstin - United States

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because he has anger issues. Tonight, my tires were slashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45371

You deserved it

6837

Favorite

By Troy

Mom knows best

Today, my mom offered me a reward if I went out and mowed our lawn. After 45 mins of pushing a lawnmower in 95-degree heat and getting stung by a bee, I go inside and ask my mom for my reward. She comes up to me, gives me a 'loving hug' and says, "Thank you." FML

I agree, your life sucks

933

You deserved it

1558

Favorite

By firstandlastjob - 13/6/2020 14:11

Make it stop

Today, at work I had to listen to a group of old men talk about double penetration. I work at a coffee shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1675

You deserved it

183

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Cranford

Today, despite seeing her every weekend, her not telling me her work schedule, and her having ignored me every time she gets a boyfriend, my sister is upset that I "don't make more of an effort to see her." Sorry, I'm trying to not rely on people who hurt me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1543

You deserved it

131

Favorite

By -____- - United States - Seattle

Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55186

You deserved it

7370

Favorite

By hottytodday - United States - Oxford

Courtesy visit

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2283

You deserved it

312

Favorite

By Rightswiper - South Africa

Trolled by technology

Today, as soon as I put my card into an ATM, the words "Out of Order" popped up and it would not return my card. Since I was at the bank, I got a free replacement. Trying to draw money again the second machine did the same thing and a third card costs more than what I have in my account. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4496

You deserved it

482

Favorite

By Sybille - France

Today, my boyfriend was lying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passionate eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me he loved me. But instead he said "You have a bogey". FML

I agree, your life sucks

28436

You deserved it

4028

Favorite

By MoreActionThanMe - United States

Today, my dog did something I had no idea he could do. He participated in an all-male three-way at the dog park. In front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27857

You deserved it

2799

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my dad came to visit me. By visit I mean he arrived, took a huge smelly dump and left. This is the first time I've seen my dad in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35896

You deserved it

3050

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I asked my mom if she thought I was straight. She looked at me and said "Well, that's really up to you honey. But your father and I would still love you." I was asking if she thought I had parked straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53946

You deserved it

12648

Favorite

By anonymous - Australia

Today, I successfully stopped my hair straightener from falling into a bathtub full of water by grabbing hold of the burning hot plates. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25829

You deserved it

8126

Favorite

By Gabby - United States

Today, my friend and I were playing Oregon Trail online. I googled "dysentery", and sent her an IM about the mind-blowing number of cartoons of people violently shitting everywhere. I accidentally sent it to my aunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8346

You deserved it

23263

Favorite

By JP - Italy

Today, I went to the bank to make a withdrawal in order to celebrate my last day here in Italy with my friends. Apparently I'm overdrawn by 187 dollars so I'm eating nothing but leftover stale crackers to survive until I get free plane food on my way back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14950

You deserved it

47810

Favorite

By morethanablondemoment - United States - Redding

Today, after working 8 hours and immediately packing my house for another 6 hours to prepare for moving, I was extremely exhausted and more than ready to brush my teeth and go to bed. I tiredly brushed my teeth with my mascara. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24288

You deserved it

4314

Favorite

By fries - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my boyfriend announced to me he was sleeping with another girl via alphabet soup. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49403

You deserved it

3816

Favorite

By Ava K - United States - San Diego

Unnecessary

Today, my mom and I were looking at dresses for me at the mall. The cashier pointed out a dress, and my mom said, "She's definitely not going to fit into that. She's too flat-chested." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1480

You deserved it

148

Favorite

By Single forever I guess

Today, after months of hurtful and derogatory remarks from matches, I had to add the line "Not trans, just ugly." to my Tinder bio. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3909

You deserved it

314

Favorite

By Anonymous - Netherlands - Utrecht

Today, on a train to the airport the ticket inspector pointed out that my girlfriend and I hadn't activated our tickets. He suggested one of us get off and activate them at the next station. Now I'm on the moving train with all our luggage and she's waving from the platform with our tickets. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4633

You deserved it

457

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, my boss declared total bankruptcy of the company and I lost my job. The good news is my coworkers and I all received McDonald's 10%-off coupons. They expired in 2003. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48333

You deserved it

2895

Favorite

By Harejordan - United States

Today, I was driving and stopped behind a person at a stop sign. Their car didn't move for about 1 minute. I got out of my car yelling at the person. It was an old woman. She wasn't breathing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20079

You deserved it

36326

Favorite

By Anonymous

Miss Pissy

Today, I was protesting for animal rights. On my way home, I accidentally hit a pig with my car. I freaked out and got out to check to see if it was OK. It knocked me over, spraining my wrist, and it pissed all over my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks

833

You deserved it

1643

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he was being for Halloween. He said "Single". FML

I agree, your life sucks

49907

You deserved it

5154

Favorite

By puzzled - United Kingdom

Today, I was brushing my teeth when I felt a lump of something in the corner of my mouth. Naturally assuming it would be a bit of food that my toothbrush had dislodged, I spat it out into the sink. It was a woodlouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32591

You deserved it

3207

Favorite

By gag reflex - Australia - Burwood

Today, while I was at the dentist, I couldn't stop gagging when he tried to put a tab in my mouth to get an x-ray. As I left, I overheard him saying, "I feel sorry for her boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks

57890

You deserved it

9761

Favorite

By Fat Jon - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I went to a costume contest as Jon Snow from Game of Thrones. I won, which was nice, until I was told that the only flaws in my "Samwell Tarly" outfit were my long hair and wrong sword. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21652

You deserved it

2788

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, my husband and I were getting busy on the living room couch when my mother-in-law stopped by and let herself in with a key we didn’t know she had. She then demanded an apology like it was all our fault and stormed out. I still don’t know why she came by. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5730

You deserved it

361

Favorite

By Mel

Today, I woke up to find out my cat pissed in my laundry from last night. This includes underwear, so I had to go commando. I grabbed an old T-shirt and pants at the bottom of a drawer and left for school. Turns out the pants had a hole in the crotch and my period was due. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3211

You deserved it

643

Favorite

By thanksfyi - Norway

Today, I found out via Facebook that my brother got engaged several days ago. Not only did he not tell me, but we live in the same house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38454

You deserved it

4577

Favorite

By Jackmeister

Ouch

Today, I jacked off in the shower using soap with scrubbing beads in it. My penis is so chaffed, it hurts to put on pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1285

You deserved it

7005

Favorite

By staceyymaee - United States - Indianapolis

Today, my new futon mattress arrived. Upon laying it out on the frame, I realized IKEA has whack bed sizings. When I went to return the mattress for a queen, they informed me a queen mattress wouldn't be here until sometime next week. I already threw out my old crappy mattress. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9839

You deserved it

2506

Favorite

By jack the ripped - United States

Today, while examining my busted nose in the mirror, I had a sneeze attack. Now it looks like someone got their throat slashed in my bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13037

Phew, glad it wasn't me

1453

Favorite

By jkim - United States - San Diego

Today, my husband injured his back badly. He's taken three percocets, because according to him, he knows the dosage better than his doctor, and is demanding that I let him drive himself to work, with no pants on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43671

You deserved it

3930

Favorite

By day001313 - United States - Albany

Today, I was house-sitting for some friends of my grandparents while they are out of town. While I was in the shower, the dog decided to take my dirty underwear and run. There is now a pair of lacy, black underwear hidden somewhere this giant house, and they return tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26803

You deserved it

3327

Favorite

By notalovestory - United Kingdom - Potters Bar

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I came back home in tears, and eventually told my dad what was wrong. He immediately excused himself to the living room, where I heard him tell my mum, "She's gone all Taylor Swift again." FML

I agree, your life sucks

27002

You deserved it

11615

Favorite

By Kole

Today, I got the most painful neck cramp of my life after whipping my head back in laughter at something that wasn't even funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5496

You deserved it

1860

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I think I found out just how many times I've ordered through UberEats when my delivery guy told me that, "We should stop seeing each other like this!" with a chuckle. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1428

You deserved it

467

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Overland Park

Today, at my daughter's fundraiser, I noticed that a guy with a face only a fist could love kept staring at her. I said "Beautiful, isn't she?" Before I could tell him to keep it in his damned pants, he replied "Hah. She's my girlfriend, dude. Total beast in the sack." Complete news to me on both counts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28650

You deserved it

3303

Favorite

By Freebie - United States - Altoona

Today, marks the third month that I have not received payment for work I did on web pages for a hospital chain. They owe me over $1,000. It will cost twice that to get a lawyer to force them to pay me what I'm owed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4679

You deserved it

344

Favorite

By Jen - Australia

Today, I arrived home to find I'd been broken in to. The culprit? An obese homeless man, who I found face down, unconscious, and surrounded by muesli bar wrappers in my pantry. He broke in, ate everything in sight, soiled himself, and passed out. The worst part? The cops don't even believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36693

You deserved it

2730

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By manb91uk | 22

#7590406 - Wednesday 24 January 2018 19:48

That’s not something I ever want to hear anywhere actually

By RichardPencil | 29

#7590450 - Wednesday 24 January 2018 21:56

Even worse, he started unzipping his pants!!!

COMMENTS

By NostalgiaFreak9 | 40

#7590393 - Wednesday 24 January 2018 19:14

If you were on novocaine, you should be fine.

nentenkupo | 16

#7590503 - Thursday 25 January 2018 1:15

For some people, like myself, Novocaine doesn't do a thing to stop the pain.

By manb91uk | 22

#7590406 - Wednesday 24 January 2018 19:48

That’s not something I ever want to hear anywhere actually

By Glowworm56 | 25

#7590424 - Wednesday 24 January 2018 20:42

Jaws-Dentist version-"You're gonna need a bigger drill."

By RichardPencil | 29

#7590450 - Wednesday 24 January 2018 21:56

Even worse, he started unzipping his pants!!!

By jfsiv | 17

#7592371 - Monday 29 January 2018 20:33

That's what she said! ;)