Health: Today, I heard something you don't want to hear at the dentist:...

By Aseemann - Denmark - Svendborg

Today, I heard something you don't want to hear at the dentist: "I need a bigger drill." FML

I agree, your life sucks

3755

You deserved it

320

Favorite

Health

Season finale

Oh, hai Mark!

Are you sure?

By keimA

Today, my new roommate, who seemed to get along with me just fine up until now, has requested to switch to a different room. Apparently, I was making racist comments in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1181

You deserved it

334

Favorite

By Insane Guy - United States

Today, at work, I jumped under my desk in fear of a nuclear missile attack when the firestation next us let out its new awareness siren. I think I'm going insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25252

You deserved it

7833

Favorite

By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I was alone with a work acquaintance at lunch. A noise came from his pocket; he whipped out his iPod Touch and said "Sorry, I have to take this," before walking away with the iPod to his ear. Not only did he not want to talk to me, he thought I was stupid enough to confuse an iPod with a phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47608

You deserved it

14700

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband and I were having sex in the shower while our 5-year old was sleeping. Apparently, she wasn't sleeping and she asked me what those loud noises were. I told her I was singing. Now I can't get her to stop "singing" in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20973

You deserved it

61394

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Portsmouth

Today, I had my first game ever as an ice hockey goalie. Our team didn't have a goalie helmet, so they gave me a regular one which didn't cover me completely. I was worried about it and told my coach, but he said I would be fine. I then took a puck to the throat that sent me to hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45636

You deserved it

4887

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Stourport

Today, I won a meal for two in a raffle. I had no one to go with. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23962

You deserved it

2126

Favorite

By happybride

Today, my wedding limo driver got high and forgot to pick us up, so the photographers gave us a ride back to the venue from the photo shoot. Three bridesmaids, a flower girl, and I, in my full wedding dress, had to fit in the back of the 1997 Toyota Camry. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4419

You deserved it

348

Favorite

By Misskittygal14

Today, I decided to go through my younger brother's browser history. I found out he goes regularly on PornHub. He's only 10. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3458

You deserved it

1114

Favorite

By WasZumTeufel? - Germany - Kabel

Today, my boyfriend took me to his house and introduced me to his parents. He also showed me around his bedroom. I think he forgot to remove the dartboard on his wall, taped to which was a swiss-cheesed printout of one of my Facebook photos. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36454

You deserved it

3906

Favorite

By SarahNB - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, after paying at the gas station, the cashier stuck out her hand, which was clenched into a fist. I thought she wanted a fist-bump, so I gave her one. She just stared back at me. Turns out she was just trying to give me my change. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40994

You deserved it

16535

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I lost my job because I was doing my work too quickly, getting too much done and the supervisor was afraid I was bored. I have only been here for 3 weeks and already had the best stats on the team. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34705

You deserved it

2364

Favorite

By those_allergies - United States - Bend

Today, I was eating a mystery flavored candy and I had an allergic reaction. Not only did I have to go to the hospital because my throat swelled up, but I still don't know what I'm allergic to. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52207

You deserved it

4304

Favorite

By Username - United States

Today, I wanted to propose to my girlfriend, so I bought M and M's which I had customized with the words "Will you marry me?" on them. She ate them all without reading them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46782

You deserved it

15293

Favorite

By hooligyn123 - United States

Today, I'm quite ill. My new step-mother believes that the genetic wheat allergy I got from my mother would have gone away since she's now married to my father instead. Looks like dad picked a winner. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33255

You deserved it

1844

Favorite

By Maruska28

Today, we bought our first home after months of searching and years of saving. It's directly in the path of Hurricane Irma and may be destroyed before we even get the chance to move in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4863

You deserved it

398

Favorite

By nosleeptilpissoff - United States

Today, I have a cat with separation anxiety. By this, I mean whenever I go in another room and shut the door with her outside, she uses her head as a battering ram to try and break down the door. It's fun trying to sleep too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34322

You deserved it

6368

Favorite

By Sotired - United States - Medford

Today, after working 12 shifts in the past 8 days at 2 jobs and thinking today was a day off, I got the call that I misread my schedule and I was in fact scheduled. Got off at 2:30 am, work again at 9 am with 9 shifts to go this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2332

You deserved it

346

Favorite

By NotAnUglyBaby - Mexico - C?rdoba

Today, while vacationing, a small boy asked to see the baby I was holding, wrapped in a blanket. I showed him, and his face reflexively scrunched up. The boy's mother came and apologized to me. Her face scrunched up too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20274

You deserved it

1896

Favorite

By Anonymous

Sounds illegal

Today, I got a lot of tips at work, but little did I know our boss takes it out of our paychecks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1840

You deserved it

113

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went out of town with my mother-in-law. I don't know what posessed her to start questioning me about her son's and my sex life. When I told her I wasn't talking about that, she began to dicuss her and my father-in-law's bedroom habits. The car ride was two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29577

You deserved it

2606

Favorite

By Bear

Today, while picking up my 14-year-old sister, a friend of hers asked if I was her mother. I'm only 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4649

You deserved it

367

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was trying to get my girlfriend to speak Mandarin. After speaking her first words and taking a break, she posted on Facebook: "I speak ching chong! :D :D :D" FML

I agree, your life sucks

14495

You deserved it

2156

Favorite

By scooter922 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I got home from the hospital after I burned my hand. Why? I dropped my phone in the pot while stirring hot soup, and I reached in to get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8195

You deserved it

39485

Favorite

By unnamed - United States

Today, I called my seven-year old son to help me with the ice-maker on the fridge because it wasn't working. Without even pausing, he turned the child lock off and started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15486

You deserved it

39115

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, my wife served me with divorce papers that included an accusation that I haven’t given her a decent orgasm since 1996. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2434

You deserved it

687

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I got my phone back after bringing it in to get a crack in the screen repaired. The crack is fixed, but now the touch screen doesn't work and it won't connect to the Internet. I essentially paid to have my phone broken even more. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20258

You deserved it

1833

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Houston

Today, my wedding ring came off in a Walmart bathroom and fell into the toilet. It was an automatic toilet. It flushed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7768

You deserved it

814

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I took my best friend to an 80's party. She drank too much and ended up puking all over the interior and exterior of my car as well as inside my right legwarmer on the 30 mile trip back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23983

You deserved it

4628

Favorite

By Anonymous - 9/5/2021 05:59

One Shall Stand, One Shall Fall!

Today, my husband pre-ordered $500 worth of Transformers figures. We're supposed to be trying to save up for a house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

829

You deserved it

113

Favorite

By jj - Australia - Windermere Park

Today, I was sick and had soccer trials on the same day. At the soccer trials, the coach called me over and told me I was doing really good and to keep it up. I said thanks and vomited on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37008

You deserved it

3350

Favorite

By mutantprincess - Australia

Today, after waking up to find a large spider outside my bedroom door and screaming, waking up my mum to kill it, she then sprayed it and went to pick it up. She then informed me it was made of plastic. My cat had got into the Halloween decorations from the spare room and decided to play. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18580

You deserved it

5472

Favorite

By WTFDude

Today, I was punched in the face for wearing a Ramones shirt. The guy who punched me said he was tired of people wearing the shirt without knowing who they were. I've been a Ramones fan my whole life and am the only person I know who has worn the shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1925

You deserved it

129

Favorite

By chris

Frustration level 100

Today, I saw my bike locked outside a Starbucks down the street from my house. It was stolen about 10 days ago from my communal laundry room. There was even a cop parked across the street, but I have no proof to show that bike even belonged to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1519

You deserved it

186

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada

Today I was very excited to go to the post office to claim a parcel. I didn't know what it could be, so I assumed it was a gift. It turned out to be a speeding ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13058

You deserved it

2554

Favorite

By jennavankirk - United States

Today, I lied to a group of 8 year olds about having a boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20638

You deserved it

31868

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - New Castle

Today, a student turned in homework she copied off an online answer key. The wrong key. My students are too stupid to cheat right. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3733

You deserved it

290

Favorite

By Dumped

Today, at work, I went to place a small item on a shelf. The shelf fell on me, trapping my hand. While lifting it, the top shelf fell against my chest and the products all dumped on my face. I then realized the shelves were only held up by zip ties. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3770

You deserved it

339

Favorite

By Screwed - United States

Today, I had one of the worst panic attacks in years. I was worried nobody cared about me and that I had completely messed up my life. I was hyperventilating and crying hysterically. My mom walked by my room, looked at me, and said, "If you're going to make those noises, at least shut the door." FML

I agree, your life sucks

216701

You deserved it

30281

Favorite

By TIlly - 23/2/2021 14:01

Sharkeisha, no

Today, after seeing an old viral video on YouTube, my boyfriend started calling me Sharkeisha. Our friends thought he was implying that I'm violent with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

630

You deserved it

Favorite

By Irrationalwife

Today, my husband and I got into a fight about his pervert friend who regularly shows blatant disrespect for our marriage, including sending me inappropriate texts. Apparently this friend should have my full trust, and apparently I am the one with the issue for not excusing his bad behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2302

You deserved it

194

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By manb91uk | 22

#7590406 - Wednesday 24 January 2018 19:48

That’s not something I ever want to hear anywhere actually

By RichardPencil | 30

#7590450 - Wednesday 24 January 2018 21:56

Even worse, he started unzipping his pants!!!

COMMENTS

By NostalgiaFreak9 | 40

#7590393 - Wednesday 24 January 2018 19:14

If you were on novocaine, you should be fine.

nentenkupo | 16

#7590503 - Thursday 25 January 2018 1:15

For some people, like myself, Novocaine doesn't do a thing to stop the pain.

By manb91uk | 22

#7590406 - Wednesday 24 January 2018 19:48

That’s not something I ever want to hear anywhere actually

By Glowworm56 | 25

#7590424 - Wednesday 24 January 2018 20:42

Jaws-Dentist version-"You're gonna need a bigger drill."

By RichardPencil | 30

#7590450 - Wednesday 24 January 2018 21:56

Even worse, he started unzipping his pants!!!

By jfsiv | 17

#7592371 - Monday 29 January 2018 20:33

That's what she said! ;)