By longlongwinter - 05/12/2013 16:50 - United Kingdom - Southampton
I agree, your life sucks
53 807
You deserved it
4 938
longlongwinter tells us more.
Thank you for all your comments, it made me laugh for the first time in a week. Answering your questions, she's 67, in good health, and apart from a bad knee and weak bladder, she'll be around for many years, living independently. Her family is full of centenarians (FML again). She's neither senile nor mentally ill, but she came from an European aristocratic family (technically, she's a baroness), grew up with 12 personal servants, married into a very wealthy - but plebeian - family, and together they squandered every little penny they had. She divorced and had to raise three kids on her own, in relative poverty (one servant is not enough), had to work for a living (how shameful!), and poured all her frustration and bitterness on us. Of her three kids, the one that lives closest to her is 5000 miles away. I confronted her many times on what she thinks about that, if she says that it's wonderful, because she can travel more. She insists on spend three months with each of us, and three months on her city. We have no choice but to oblige, otherwise she manages to make our lives even more hellish. She got to the point of denouncing my brother-in-law for an nonexistent domestic violence episode to the police, from 8000 miles away. She does not have pure evil intent in her actions. The thing is, the only thing she's interested in is herself and her reputation. She doesn't care for our stuff, our lives or our emotions, she doesn't pay attention to anyone (she called her sister on Skype while I was talking to her), and the only thing that grabs her attention is gossip, so she can start blabbing how much better than the others she is. She's just a vain and vacuous self-absorbed ex-rich girl that happened to get old. Think Paris Hilton. For those saying that I should kiss her feet because she carried me for nine months and suffered for my birth, here it goes: she demanded a general anesthetic for all births, had a boob job and a tummy tuck on the same surgery I was born, and only saw me when I was a month old. She only turned into a hands-on mother when she got flat broke and had to fire the nannies. But no worries. I made sure for her that this is my home, so my rules apply. She's trying to behave. Oh, my husband is a saint with infinite patience, and excuses her for everything. And my mother-in-law is the best person I've ever met, and compensated for all the hurt my mother inflicted. :)
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Get that bitch out of your house and away from your daughter.
Um? She sounds like a dog? I'm confused peed in your bed? Lol what?
an3ph
20
You wouldn't tolerate this behavior in anyone except someone with whom you had a false sense of obligation. You hereby have permission to kick her out and feel good about it.
You should really stand up to your mom! If your being nice enough to let her live with you, she really owes it to you to treat your home and you and your family with respect and care! I hope things work out in your house aha!
Heathtastic
10
After she did all that if I was you OP she'd be staying at a hotel
Peed in YOUR bed????
Thank you for all your comments, it made me laugh for the first time in a week. Answering your questions, she's 67, in good health, and apart from a bad knee and weak bladder, she'll be around for many years, living independently. Her family is full of centenarians (FML again). She's neither senile nor mentally ill, but she came from an European aristocratic family (technically, she's a baroness), grew up with 12 personal servants, married into a very wealthy - but plebeian - family, and together they squandered every little penny they had. She divorced and had to raise three kids on her own, in relative poverty (one servant is not enough), had to work for a living (how shameful!), and poured all her frustration and bitterness on us. Of her three kids, the one that lives closest to her is 5000 miles away. I confronted her many times on what she thinks about that, if she says that it's wonderful, because she can travel more. She insists on spend three months with each of us, and three months on her city. We have no choice but to oblige, otherwise she manages to make our lives even more hellish. She got to the point of denouncing my brother-in-law for an nonexistent domestic violence episode to the police, from 8000 miles away. She does not have pure evil intent in her actions. The thing is, the only thing she's interested in is herself and her reputation. She doesn't care for our stuff, our lives or our emotions, she doesn't pay attention to anyone (she called her sister on Skype while I was talking to her), and the only thing that grabs her attention is gossip, so she can start blabbing how much better than the others she is. She's just a vain and vacuous self-absorbed ex-rich girl that happened to get old. Think Paris Hilton. For those saying that I should kiss her feet because she carried me for nine months and suffered for my birth, here it goes: she demanded a general anesthetic for all births, had a boob job and a tummy tuck on the same surgery I was born, and only saw me when I was a month old. She only turned into a hands-on mother when she got flat broke and had to fire the nannies. But no worries. I made sure for her that this is my home, so my rules apply. She's trying to behave. Oh, my husband is a saint with infinite patience, and excuses her for everything. And my mother-in-law is the best person I've ever met, and compensated for all the hurt my mother inflicted. :)
crazymentalblond
25
Well at least you sound like you turned out better than she did. Glad you're laying out the ground rules and she's trying to comply. I don't think I could stand being raised like that if I were growing up. I know my family irritates me but they get me through some rough times. Good luck to you for the next three months.
Let me recommend an excellent book for dealing with relatives like this: "Boundaries" by Dr. Henry Cloud. I just pulled this out to re-read for dealing with my brother.
It's ironic how your mother in law is the sweetheart and the mother the bitch. But, it's great that at least one is there to support you!
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that is so messed up. I would probably just move and not tell her.
Of all the most recent fml posts this one was the one I was most hoping for some follow up! Thanks for so much more detail!
falon142012
22
My jaw actually gaped open as I read this! Just at the fact that there are people content with being like that…I can't even imagine what it must have been like to grow up in that way. I am truly sorry, OP. I hope you enjoy your life despite how your mother is. And should you have children, take comfort that you can give them better than you had.
Kuro_Kamen
12
I gotta give you mad props op. I know if I was in your husband's situation I would've lost my nerve by now, or take up drinking.
You can't make that stuff up. Don't know how you do it. Kudos.
Wow your entire life is one big fml! Im sorry op
myoukei
31
Your life sounds like a brother's grimm fairytale. You have the fall from prominence, the cruel parental figure, and the awesome husband to help you with your happily ever after. In all seriousness though, good luck with dealing with mama. Hope she doesn't cause too much more trouble!
frizz101
22
Good god OP, and I thought my drug addicted mother was bad. I applaud you for you and your husbands patients. I hope your mother learns how to be a better person before it's too late.
Your mother is a narcissist, a personality disorder. She'll never change so live fast from her, expect nothing from her, and tolerate her, but don't take abuse, all of which you seem to have a handle on.
ur a better person than me. i wouldve landed in prison over that a long time ago if any of my family acted like that.
an3ph
20
My my! Thanks for the background. Seems like you have a good grasp. Please do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself and your family. There are ALWAYS options. On behalf of the universe, I would like to apologize for the mother you received. We'll try to do better next time. We would like to offer you a 50% discount on your next order.
Sounds like my grandma, minus the baroness part... Just be happy she is only staying for 3 months. Mine lives with us.
you used 2 m's in Grimm do you watch the tv show?
Sorry about her OP. I'm glad you're laying down the law.
elfie82
2
Peed in ur bed??? Seriously!!
your mother and mine shiuld get together... mine only stays for a month every year but they. sound the same. ... my kids ask me why she has to come... I feel your pain
See if you didn't say it was your mother... I would that thought it might have been a new dog or something
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It's your house and your family. Set some ground rules for her, or tell her to leave.
Well at least you sound like you turned out better than she did. Glad you're laying out the ground rules and she's trying to comply. I don't think I could stand being raised like that if I were growing up. I know my family irritates me but they get me through some rough times. Good luck to you for the next three months.