Congratulations, now you get all the solos.

What if that was her plan all along???

You forgot to give the other guy his participation trophy. That's why he got mad. How dare you try to take away his 100% free ride to Juilliard! (/s)

Maybe he thought your chart sucked that badly. Was it a pie chart? If not, that's what pissed him off.

The better musician should get all the solos and the worse one needs to practice harder.

Solos and important parts should go to who plays them best, not spread evenly.

that's with people who are doing this professionally. doesn't sound like they are do8ng it for money.

For some reason, I'm guessing that OP is in high-school whereby neither's particularly proficient/ outstanding so as to have earned the right to all solos - tho wouldn't the instructor/ conductor have made those choices anyway?

Hi everyone, and thanks for the comments! It's actually an adult community band for people to just have an outlet without the stress or ability requirement of a higher level ensemble. We were both fairly new to the group. The guy in question is a middle-aged principal software engineer who is an amateur musician, while I am a first-year music teacher with a master's degree. Why I'm not in a professional or semi-professional group? I don't have the time, and there aren't any spots available for my instrument anyway (oboe).

How it was: he gave me most of the first oboe parts and took only the two first parts that had giant solos. From a purely objective standpoint his tone is terrible but since it's a low-pressure group I decided not to make a big deal out of it; and also HE was the one talking all the time about dividing up parts and solos, so I was just following his lead.

The chart was just a list of all the songs, what types of parts they had, and how many bars of solo were in each. I showed him which parts were his and which were mine and suggested that we use the information to trade some parts so he could be first more often and maybe I could have another solo (since I had next to none at that point). I guess he must have thought I was just trying to take all his solos because he freaked out and said he didn't want to deal with all this "drama" (I'm sorry, who's making drama here?) and then announced he wouldn't be back next week because he was quitting effective immediately.

End game: I DO now have all the solos. One of the clarinet players also plays oboe, so he stepped in, and keeps vehemently refusing every time I offer for him to play first or have a solo. He isn't very good, but neither is the rest of the band. After all it is supposed to be just for amateur fun.

As an on-and-off member of community orchestras and quartets, I can confirm that this kind of stuff happens all the time. Some people just take themselves way too seriously and then expect passive-aggressive behavior to get them their way. Adults are children. (Thanks for the follow-up, btw!)

Ahhhh. a drama queen at it's finest hehehe. I'd just laugh it off if i were you OP. Although his attitude was clearly VERY dramatic, it still sounded a bit silly. He'll probably be back.

Sounds like you pissed him off because apparently you know best.

There is so many things wrong here. First, I am all for equality but not in this situation. Solos especially should go to who plays best or at least wants to take the responsibility. Also, the chart implied you weren't gibing him a say to explore different distribution methods. It was your way or the highway! Clearly he opted for the highway. Next time, wait until agreement is reached before drawing up chart.

Why the fuck do you need a chart for band

Why the fuck would you want to play oboe anyway