Miscellaneous: Today, I found out what I look like drunk and naked while swinging...

By ObeseCaveDweller - 16/01/2010 07:26 - United States

Today, I found out what I look like drunk and naked while swinging a tennis racket thanks to a picture message forwarded to just about everyone I know and some I don't. Among the numbers the text was sent to was a familiar one. My mom's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 004

You deserved it 30 610

ObeseCaveDweller tells us more.

ObeseCaveDweller 0

Send a private message

Saturday 16 January 2010 22:29

This sounds strangely familiar. Oh, that's right, it was me that this happened to

Miscellaneous

Taking stock

Late term

Stranded

By why - 14/03/2014 23:23 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was tanning nude in my backyard, when I took a picture of our dog lying in the grass and sent it to my dad. It was only after I looked at the picture indoors that I realized my nipple had made it into the picture too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 401

You deserved it 37 676

By ToothHurtyAM - 18/10/2018 05:00

Today, the principal of my school asked me if I had practice. Knowing he's gullible, I said yes. I came home to find him and my mom having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 144

You deserved it 833

By Anonymous - 15/09/2016 00:35 - United States - Nottingham

Today, while visiting my grandparents, I was afraid that one of their many cats would pee on me. I was peed on all right, by my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 090

You deserved it 787

Shut up and take it

By Eric - 14/03/2020 06:05

Today my college professor told me that I ask him too many questions. Apparently, my college tuition fee doesn't include learning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 547

You deserved it 215

By idontunderstand - 07/05/2018 19:00

Today, my father has been unemployed for 8 of my parents' 25 years of marriage, and my mom still supports him. I've been unemployed for three months and my mom is kicking me out. The difference is, I'm actually applying places. He just plays video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 669

You deserved it 305

By Anonymous - 26/07/2014 15:35 - United States - Pittsfield

Today, I found out my sister stole my phone, pretended to be me, and tried breaking up with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 263

You deserved it 4 737

By southernpride93 - 18/11/2011 15:26 - United States

Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 305

You deserved it 4 170

By Pushover - 13/02/2010 03:30 - United States

Today, I caught my boyfriend of 8 years cheating on me. I punched him in the face, he broke up with me. And I still had to cook him an entire turkey dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 632

You deserved it 40 612

By Anonymous - 13/01/2011 02:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing my dad said to him was "So, how low have you kissed?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 939

You deserved it 3 903

By AnonCat - 21/01/2013 01:47 - Canada - Vegreville

Today, my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven, a dryer, a dishwasher, a toilet, and a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 965

You deserved it 3 650

Creeped out

By Anonymous - 26/03/2020 14:06

Today, I found out my husband only started to date me because he thinks I look like his daughter. She was 5 at that time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 868

You deserved it 127

By Username - 01/05/2014 10:33 - United States

Today, my dog died. My parents told me to bury it out back. In the process, I managed to dig up my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 372

You deserved it 4 571

By Username - 20/08/2011 09:20 - United States

Today, the girl of my dreams that I've been dating for months called me. Apparently she's been having recurring nightmares of me cheating on her. She dumped me "just in case." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 370

You deserved it 2 664

OCD

By Anonymous - 04/11/2009 13:53 - Australia

Today, I decided to dress up sexy for my boyfriend. I put on cute undies and a corset because they made the most of my assets. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "The colours don't match." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 407

You deserved it 5 722

By awkward - 05/09/2017 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a friend's "party". Everyone bailed but my friend didn't say anything, so it's just me and my girl. The train tickets alone cost £20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 219

You deserved it 319

New, from L'Oréal!

By oompaloompa - 28/10/2019 12:00

Today, I used a self-tanning towelette to help even out my tan lines and disguise my vitiligo a bit. Now my stomach is orange and my spots are even more noticeable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 249

You deserved it 437

By megaladon - 28/06/2010 08:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 768

You deserved it 37 349

Life imitates art

By Anonymous - 11/01/2021 20:58 - Philippines

Today, my hypochondria is getting worse. I think it's because of watching too much Grey's Anatomy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 618

By lumi - 24/06/2009 01:28 - United States

Today, I received in the mail a hockey puck autographed by recent hall of fame addition Steve Yzerman. When asked, I had to explain to my 4 year old brother that someone famous had written his name on it. Later, I discovered that my brother decided it needed his name on it too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 118

You deserved it 5 489

By Anonymous - 06/04/2016 08:34 - United Kingdom - Bromsgrove

Today, I spent hours putting together a beautifully intricate jigsaw to give to my grandmother, who likes to frame them and hang them on her wall. Just as I was about to finish it, I discovered my dog chewing the last piece. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 388

You deserved it 1 883

Keeping it in the family!

By Franklin - 01/02/2018 05:00 - United States - Fairbanks

Today, we got the results of our family's ancestry DNA tests. My father isn't related to me, but my grandfather is still my grandfather. Apparently grandma cheated on grandpa to get 'dad', and my mother cheated on 'dad' with my 'uncle' to get me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 184

You deserved it 283

By walker - 06/07/2013 04:17 - United States

Today, I went over my girlfriend of 3 months' house for the first time. As we walked through the door, I was greeted by a little girl whose first words to me were, "Are you my daddy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 581

You deserved it 4 888

By penisgrabber - 15/12/2010 17:07 - United States

Today, I came to the realization I make a living trimming the hair off dogs' privates. I've touched more dog penises than I have human ones, and sometimes the dogs get "excited" while I'm working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 354

You deserved it 7 036

By mackamuir - 01/04/2016 13:01 - Australia - Gold Coast

Today, my roommate played a crazy April Fool's joke on me by not paying his rent this month. Good one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 890

You deserved it 1 769

By Anonymous - 06/07/2011 23:43 - United States

Today, my friends staged an intervention. I'm not on drugs, I'm not an alcoholic, and I own my own house. My car is paid for and my job pays well. Apparently, I need an intervention because my life is not where they want it to be, which involves me being married with children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 255

You deserved it 3 561

By sad_panda - 26/06/2009 19:48 - United States

Today, I asked my mother if we could test me for OCD, since so many people have suggested to me that I might have it. She smiles at me and says, "No, honey, you're just really really weird." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 168

You deserved it 6 927

By Anonymous - 10/10/2014 21:51 - United States - Lemont

Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 620

You deserved it 24 245

By spanishsucks - 01/04/2012 03:01 - United States - Livingston

Today, I introduced my mother to my new girlfriend. My mom made a very nasty comment about her in Spanish, not realizing that my girlfriend teaches Spanish at the local school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 202

You deserved it 2 861

The L Word

By Humiliated & Heart-Broken - 30/07/2014 04:41 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved him for the first time. The L-word is probably one of the only things I'm scared to say, so what did he do? He stared at me blankly before making a farting noise with his mouth and asking if he could go get Chicken Express for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 784

You deserved it 5 163

By Ashton Sprunger - 30/12/2011 05:38 - United States

Today, I was taking people's orders at the drive-thru. I was confused as to why people were screaming their orders at me, until one of my managers handed me a paper that he'd found taped to the menu, saying "speak loudly speaker isn't working properly." Punkd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 678

You deserved it 3 288

By WhyTheEff - 20/11/2009 23:50 - United States

Today, I woke up to find my house TP'd. I also noticed our entire house was devoid of toilet paper. Someone had broken in just to steal our toilet paper and TP our own house with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 450

You deserved it 3 072

By Anonymous - 14/05/2014 20:43 - United States - Irmo

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 243

You deserved it 17 330

By Anonymous - 08/02/2012 17:45

Today, I was attacked by a bird at 3 in the morning. The bird was being attacked by an owl, and decided the safest place to land wasn't in a tree, but my face. No-one will believe me, despite the 12 stitches across my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 937

You deserved it 2 202

By ellebelle - 15/11/2010 00:23 - United States

Today, I had to purchase a new flat screen TV for the bar I work at. Last night I was dared to break an ashtray against the wall. I completely missed the wall and smashed the screen of the new TV they bought last month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 623

You deserved it 47 888

By lostandconfused - 31/05/2019 05:00

Today, I was teaching a class of 17-year-old Japanese boys English. Tripping over a school bag, I caught my foot in the bottom of my very loose elastic trousers. I pulled them down with my foot as I stumbled, exposing my underwear to all 40 students. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 669

You deserved it 250

By Bwberry - 29/11/2017 19:00

Today, I spent hours hand-painting an awesome design on a gift for a friend. My husband was supposed to assemble it when I finished, but when I stepped back to admire my work, he informed me that the whole thing was sideways. He watched me paint it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 194

You deserved it 429

By thanksdad - 16/03/2014 19:28 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 747

You deserved it 6 267

By compguy - 25/02/2010 15:39 - United States

Today, I applied and was accepted for a part-time network engineering position. Being contract work they asked me what I charge. I replied, "$12 an hour." After a look of surprise they accepted me for the position and said, "Our last guy charged $200 an hour, you're a bargain." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 591

You deserved it 34 775

By steph2052 - 13/07/2011 00:51 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I came across the topic of school while chatting. He asked me what high school I went to and where I moved from. I have lived here my whole life, he was my crush for four years, and was in my classes throughout those years. He doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 333

You deserved it 3 935

By MWT77 - 27/07/2019 15:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I came home from my aunt's funeral to find my basement flooded due to a sewer backup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 798

You deserved it 81

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

perdix 29

Send a private message

Saturday 16 January 2010 16:11

At least your mom will know that all that money she spent on tennis lessons has finally paid off! I hope you demonstrated the proper grip and follow-through.

DanielleTheOne 3

Send a private message

Sunday 17 January 2010 1:53

LOL everyones hating on you man :( lol dont worry about it.. Everyone will get over it haha. And dont listen to these fucknuts saying "YDI for being drunk" because people get drunk all the time and you sound like a funny drunk where as i know a lot of angry drunks and violent drunks. Your better off making people laugh then making them cry lol.

Blahp 0

Send a private message

Saturday 16 January 2010 16:04

Rofl. Sorry though.

dotsdesu 0

Send a private message

Saturday 16 January 2010 18:41

Swinging your racket while naked? I hope you were smacking really hard. Wave it around, baby!

Secret_Fire_King 0

Send a private message

Sunday 17 January 2010 4:24

YDI, for abusing alcohol.. Too much alcohol is poison and it makes people stupid.. It doesn't make things fun or funny.. It slows your brain, so the boring things seem fun or funny..

_cheeseballs 0

Send a private message

Saturday 16 January 2010 16:05

No one cares, probably not even your 'mom' considering she's seen it all before. This one isnt even remotely amusing.

inconvienentgurl 0

Send a private message

Saturday 16 January 2010 22:16

Agreed... YDI for getting drunk...you could of stopped and then you wouldn't be in that situation so its not even close to an FML or funny.... Who clicked yes when moderating???

greentiger 5

Send a private message

Friday 10 February 2012 7:56

....then don't comment if you dont think it's funny. Just go on and read the next FML

MinaGermania 12

Send a private message

Tuesday 11 March 2014 8:02

That's because it wasn't for OP which is why it's an FML for OP.

perdix 29

Send a private message

Saturday 16 January 2010 16:11

At least your mom will know that all that money she spent on tennis lessons has finally paid off! I hope you demonstrated the proper grip and follow-through.

raisin31408 0

Send a private message

Monday 28 March 2011 18:57

^win^ lmfao!!!!

oldwiseguy 0

Send a private message

Saturday 16 January 2010 16:13

Consider yourself lucky, now that you know how pathetic you are when you drink, maybe you'll turn your life around. if you can't drink without getting drunk then you are an alcoholic and need to join AA.

Vacant 7

Send a private message

Saturday 16 January 2010 16:35

Yeah, because one night of getting drunk really leans toward the idea that the OP is a raging alcoholic and needs AA. What is with people jumping so ahead of everything?

timtam24 0

Send a private message

Saturday 16 January 2010 17:37

You don't sound old and wise at all #4.

pegasus77 0

Send a private message

Saturday 16 January 2010 20:35

Yeah, because everyone who gets drunk once in a while is an alcoholic. You don't even know the definition of an alcoholic if you think that.

yourkiddingright_fml 0

Send a private message

Saturday 16 January 2010 22:04

Not true, wiseguy! One is allowed to get drunk as long as when they are drunk they do not do stupid things or harm other people AND getting drunk is not something they do every time they drink. Then it's a problem.

whataloadofbull 0

Send a private message

Saturday 16 January 2010 16:17

Fifth.

dzerzhinsky 0

Send a private message

Saturday 16 January 2010 17:02

fyl/ydi

jonny2x4 0

Send a private message

Saturday 16 January 2010 17:45

Who hasn't done that before? Anybody?

me5 0

Send a private message

Saturday 16 January 2010 19:02

Just enjoy the FMLs everybody. Don't lecture trying to fix lives.. What's done is done.

did_it_4_lulz 0

Send a private message

Saturday 16 January 2010 19:34

I LMAO'd. I've definitely been one of these photo takers and it's hilarious.

MoobyTheCow 2

Send a private message

Saturday 16 January 2010 20:45

YDI it for being retarded. Alcohol isn't license to be an idiot. If you can't control yourself, don't drink. Better you got this picture now than sentenced for rape later, because the courts don't care about "I was drunk LOL!"

vetter_fml 0

Send a private message

Saturday 16 January 2010 22:23

him making a giant fool of himself is a pretty large leap away from rape...

garbijmann91 0

Send a private message

Saturday 16 January 2010 23:26

If you think that everyone who acts like a moron every now and then is a rapist, than I'm sorry, your just a fucking idiot. A self righteous idiot. Which is like 20,000 times worse. Accusing people you don't know of being rapists is just...unacceptable.