Health, Neighbours and Cute: That 20%

That 20%

By MI3 - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Oakland

Today, I had to explain to my neighbor that not all black people are lactose intolerant. His eyes still bulge out every time I eat cheese. FML

agreeclassic 31 912

vote type 1 2 389

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

This is America

By liz - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my 23-year old boyfriend is not talking to me because I bought the regular kind of macaroni and cheese instead of the cartoon kind. FML

agreeclassic 38 785

vote type 1 18 532

Brain worms

By smooth - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML

agreeclassic 30 887

vote type 1 19 124

I'm confused

By confusedbagel - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my boss fired me for being "too morally ambiguous". I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese. FML

agreeclassic 43 522

vote type 1 4 119

By ISwearImNotOCD - 05/04/2017 08:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I found out that the chefs at my work can't spell for shit. FML

agreeclassic 3 153

vote type 1 371

By thank u usa - 13/12/2013 22:20 - Germany

Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML

agreeclassic 45 105

vote type 1 3 573

Dick

By missPiggy - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Norway

Today, a colleague found out that I struggled with anorexia when young. After ranting about how it's a silly 'Women's disease', he renamed me 'Miss Piggy' and made oinking noises every time I ate something. FML

agreeclassic 36 803

vote type 1 2 350

Misunderstanding

By vanessa_d15 - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was together with a few of my friends when I got up the courage to confess I have an eating disorder. One of my friends then said "... but you're not skinny." FML

agreeclassic 43 133

vote type 1 6 763

Limited edition prank

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Hopkinsville

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML

agreeclassic 46 712

vote type 1 4 327

Suave

By getmoneyab - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Mexico

Today, I went to Cheesecake Factory for dinner. There was a hot waiter who kept passing by. He saw me looking at him and I knew I had to say something. So when he approached my table I asked, "Excuse me, do you have any salt?" and he said, "I think it's right there on the table." FML

agreeclassic 9 925

vote type 1 68 514

Thanks, I feel better!

By anon - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Port Saint Lucie

Today, I told my grandma my boyfriend had cheated on me. She told me that it was my fault for not straightening my hair, and for gaining a few pounds. FML

agreeclassic 26 995

vote type 1 3 048

candiicane 12

Thursday 19 April 2012 16:19

Where does that even come from?

OffToTheGayBar 9

Thursday 19 April 2012 16:19

Ignorance, don't ya love it? I do.

Comments

batummshakalaka 1

Friday 20 April 2012 7:47

This seriously made me laugh out loud. Seriously. I love how ignorant people are.

clue_me_in 20

Friday 20 April 2012 12:10

It's not your fault that people were making "OMG that's racist!" comments. Thanks for clarifying when you didn't have to.

Levvy 22

Friday 20 April 2012 15:16

Thanks for stepping in to clarify!

karmicsamadi86 9

Friday 20 April 2012 16:14

I don't get the correlation

Ozymandias_ 2

Saturday 21 April 2012 1:40

Why would.... but... there are seriously people that stupid?

saidawhiting 14

Saturday 21 April 2012 1:42

*facepalm*

kenzie20 6

Saturday 21 April 2012 5:04

Haven't heard that one before

atishe24 9

Saturday 21 April 2012 8:42

LOL! How'd he end up thinking that?!

Emokidabbey 0

Saturday 21 April 2012 19:05

What tge hell is your neighbor's problem?

MusicallyGifted 0

Saturday 21 April 2012 20:03

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, my father-in-law called me an idiot for buying him coffee cake because he can't have caffeine. He refuses to believe that there's as much coffee in coffee cake as there is ham in a hamburger. FML

agreeclassic 25 136

vote type 1 2 998

Today, my wife tried to prove that I don’t pay attention to anything related to the house by putting a decorative gnome on the table. When I mentioned it, she pointed out that she’d put over 25 gnomes all over the house for the past couple of weeks. I just noticed them today. FML

agreeclassic 89

vote type 1 599

Today, trying to make my 6 year-old daughter to laugh, I drew a picture of a butt, a puff of air coming out and the word "Toot". My daughter thought it extremely funny. Later, when she was talking with my extremely judgmental mother-in-law, I heard her say, "Daddy taught me how to draw butts." FML

agreeclassic 23 106

vote type 1 50 283

Today, traffic was so bad that I was able to connect to the WiFi of a nearby McDonald's and successfully listen to a 30-minute podcast. FML

agreeclassic 22 918

vote type 1 1 451

Today, as a support worker, I spent 45 minutes making various attempts to calm a violent autistic kid. Just as soon as I was sure the crisis was over, he beat me as hard as he could with the "Things I Can Do When I'm Mad" book I'd given him. FML

agreeclassic 29 059

vote type 1 3 743

Today, I witnessed my first drunken bar brawl. Yes, my 54-year-old husband was one of the participants. FML

agreeclassic 2 657

vote type 1 242

Similar FMLs

TOP COMMENTS

Comments