Christmas and Work: Thanks, I guess

Although a potted plant and some lotion isn't all that great, look on the bright side, at least you GOT a christmas bonus. Some don't even get holiday bonuses.

Darkness_Hate 29

Wednesday 24 December 2014 13:00

Another way to say : "Go **** yourself"...

extrasnipes 22

Wednesday 24 December 2014 13:03

If youre a guy thats not half bad.

Dramori 29

Wednesday 24 December 2014 13:29

Is it a cactus? Could be a way of saying you are a pain in the ass :)

clumsylobster 17

Wednesday 24 December 2014 13:53

Who the **** is putting a cactus in their arse

Rkikkas9713 25

Wednesday 24 December 2014 13:56

Anythings a ***** if you're brave enough.

Mauskau 35

Wednesday 24 December 2014 14:10

My brother sat on a cactus when he was a toddler.

CoGhostRider 31

Wednesday 24 December 2014 18:16

#16 the Fml community must not like you.

thez55 6

Wednesday 24 December 2014 13:39

Don't you wish you would have gotten the ham that person was complaining about the other day?

Keywords

Love Music Cute Coworkers TMI Work Gross Racism Customers Kids Scary Technology Geek Gamers Miscellaneous Neighbours DIY Relatable Social Media Ironic Cheating Sex Awkward Animals Health Insects Money Insurance Plumbing Farts

The Top

Today, I told my ultra-Catholic mother that I was hanging out with a girl. While walking out of the flat, I didn't realize that I'd dropped one of my condoms out of my pocket. My mother saw it and ripped it apart, then yelled at me that, "Sex is for having children! You're giving yourselves to Satan!" I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 235

You deserved it 317

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 466

You deserved it 4 807

The Top

Today, I had to tell my adult daughter that living in a pigsty house, breastfeeding when she can be bothered, changing a nappy only once a day, and leaving the baby at any relative's house while she shops is not adequate parenting, and unless she improves, I’m getting social services involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 382

You deserved it 142

Today, I was at the bakery I work at. A man came in to pick up a cake he said he ordered, but we could find neither the cake nor the order form. He yelled at me about being 'incompetent' before remembering that he had ordered the cake from a different bakery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 111

You deserved it 2 997

Today, I got a letter in the mail from corporate saying that I'm being demoted because I don't work enough hours. I also got a text from my boss congratulating me on making the best sales numbers for November. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 840

You deserved it 2 312

Today, my best friend and I, after years of sexual tension, began to have sex for the first time. Things got heated and he decided to abruptly stand up with me around him. I got so nervous, spazzed out, and now have 37 staples in my head courtesy of his bookshelf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 380

You deserved it 7 198

Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 265

You deserved it 6 091

Today, my 6”8 boyfriend is scared to death of his 5”2 mother to the point where it’s not funny, it’s quite concerning. He dropped a full pan of chilli in our house and cleaned it so obsessively in case his mom found out, in our house. I’m almost afraid to ask what went on in his childhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 585

You deserved it 146