Today, I finally started doing cardio and getting in shape. What motivated me to do it? Watching a zombie movie. The slow ones bite the dust first. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, we had a sprint race in gym class that I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML
Today, my extremely in-shape boyfriend told me he hasn't had a chance to work out lately. I jokingly poked him in the belly saying he's getting chunky and winked. He burst into tears. FML
Today, I finally started my job as an in-home caregiver. The man I was hired to care for died two hours after I made it to his house. FML
Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML
Today, I was together with a few of my friends when I got up the courage to confess I have an eating disorder. One of my friends then said "... but you're not skinny." FML
Today, I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle. While I was drinking alone in my basement. FML
Today, my music students began a lively debate about whether or not a music stand would make a good weapon for the zombie apocalypse. What am I teaching them? FML
Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML
Today, after an extensive talk with a relationship counselor, we concluded that I'm more likely to get run over by a car than be in a stable relationship. FML
Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Laterial 3
Gotta love Zombieland!
frutoish 0
That's what got me going. Gotta survive the zombie apocalypse.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (343)
Blazin_Drazen 0
dude you just gotta hit up that juggernog, and a hk-21 pack a punched and you'll be good
BrimfullOfAsher 20
Glad to see that you have the BRAAAAAAIIIIIIINNNNNNSSSS to start working out.
shadowpeanut 6
Zombieland!!:D
rottentomatoes 7
Zombieland rule 2
Hazelino 25
Best line in Zombieland: "no more facebook-updates" i couldn't agree more!
Climaxx 11
That's not a FML. It's actually happens more then you think :L I mean people working out for when the zombies take over.
asoccerman 0
Watch zombieland?
moley_fml 3
rule number 1 cardio lol love that movie
karlyporras 4
rule #1 cardio
hellojuicyhello 5
Sucks for u haha ur gunna b the first one they get.