Anger, Scary, Birds and Animals: I'm not going out there

I'm not going out there

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - York

Today, a family of geese nested outside my halls of residence. They have started attacking everyone who tries to get in or out of the building. I'm basically being placed under house arrest by birds. FML

agreeclassic 47 347

vote type 1 4 103

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TOP COMMENTS

\ 28

Monday 29 April 2013 22:41

I would make an Angry Birds joke here, but that's too tired. Set up a pigsty or something.

Soluxis 17

Monday 29 April 2013 22:41

How fowl.

Comments

dyne808 34

Saturday 18 July 2015 19:50

Birds are dicks

darthdeatheater 12

Tuesday 26 January 2016 17:04

Shoot the birds

TheLynx_fml 20

Sunday 21 February 2016 2:56

Bring a shotgun my friend

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I had to feed an elderly man in the care home in which I work while he was whacking off. Our work policy states that I have to pretend not to notice. FML

agreeclassic 65 803

vote type 1 4 758

Today, waiting for the bus, this creepy guy in the terminal kept staring at me. Feeling creeped out, I started walking, knowing I could pick up the bus down the street. When the bus drove up, it was almost completely full and the only open seat was next to the creepy dude from the bus station. FML

agreeclassic 36 572

vote type 1 5 081

Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML

agreeclassic 22 742

vote type 1 13 584

Today, I found out that there's nothing like having to chase a 100-something pound Bloodhound around the neighborhood when you're 8 months pregnant, with a 3 and 4 year-old in tow. Especially when she runs the other way at the sight of you coming. FML

agreeclassic 31 003

vote type 1 4 389

Today, while shaving in the shower, my mother banged on the bathroom door to tell me something, right as I went to shave under my left armpit, causing me to jump and cut open my nipple. FML

agreeclassic 26 651

vote type 1 2 061

Today, my mother is such a nosy, intruding busybody, she has driven away my last three boyfriends who could no longer stand her. My latest fella had even proposed, but he asked for the ring back and you can bet he blamed my mother for repeatedly involving herself in our private business. FML

agreeclassic 1 299

vote type 1 494