By collegebroke - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Lakewood
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I don't know about you guys, but I really don't like the word "fap", or "fapping". I never jumped on that trend. Keep it old school and say jack off or masturbate instead of "fapping". Hell, I always think they're saying flapping half the time. "Mike! Stop flapping your dick in the kitchen!" Well, that actually sounds pretty funny..
Why would you leave your workplace? Don't jeopardize your job for a quarter.
So apparently the streets pay more than actual jobs these days... Sweet.
Wow. You have really good eyesight to spot such a small coin from across the street! Think of this as an opportunity in disguise! Look into a career change, like a flight controller, or secutiry guard. Good luck OP.