Paulalala · 10 September 2025, 09:00 ·San Francisco, United States

Paparazzo

Today, I tried to take a photo of the guy next to me on the bus because he looked like one of the actors in Harry Potter. My flash went off, and the picture was so close-up it looked like I was documenting his acne. He glared at me for the rest of the ride, which was short because I got off at the next stop, nowhere near my destination. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 You deserved it 576

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Bad speech · 9 September 2025, 15:00 ·New York, United States

So, do they?

Today, I gave a presentation at work using my laptop. When I plugged it into the projector, the last thing I had Googled popped up on the big screen: “Do hamsters get depressed if you ignore them?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 190 You deserved it 328

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Anonymous · 9 September 2025, 12:00 ·Leeds, United Kingdom

Keep your chill

Today, I was at the self-checkout scanning groceries quickly. I swiped an item so aggressively that it flew out of my hand, hit another customer’s basket, and knocked over a display of onions. I pretended it wasn’t me, but the onions gave me away by rolling directly to my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93 You deserved it 462

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·United Kingdom

Emergency situation

Today, I was on a crowded bus on the way back from my boyfriend's when I suddenly had a terrible nose bleed. I had no tissues, so instead I had to use last night's underwear from my bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 712 You deserved it 5 490

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morningeyes · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

Burn!

Today, I was trying to remove a temporary tattoo my friend put on my cheek. When warm water and soap didn't work, I tried something else. Just so you know, Mr. Clean Magic Erasers do not, in fact, work by magic. Tell that to the massive chemical burn covering half my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 208 You deserved it 95 814

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Anonymous · 8 September 2025, 12:00 ·Canada

Tonight, on First Dates…

Today, I was on a first date and tried to crack a joke by saying, “Don’t worry, I’m not a serial killer.” My date replied, completely serious, “That’s exactly what a serial killer would say.” The rest of the date was eaten in awkward silence and vague small talk. I'm not going back into the dating pool ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 You deserved it 200

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DianaSeventeen · 7 September 2025, 03:00 ·Paranaque City, Philippines

I'm real!

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his parents and siblings for the first time. Their first reaction was, "Oh? You're her? All this time we thought you're some cartoon character from yet another lousy anime he keeps babbling about." FML

I agree, your life sucks 372 You deserved it 60

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Anon office worker · 7 September 2025, 00:00 ·Australia

Overfamiliarity

Today, I went in to hug my boss after a big project presentation, all because I misread his body language and thought he was opening his arms to me, but he was actually reaching for his jacket. I basically hugged his sleeve while he stared at me like I’d lost my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 You deserved it 367

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Ellis · 6 September 2025, 20:00 ·Ephrata, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Why would you even have that?

Today, I was on FB Messenger talking to one of my friends who is a pastor about getting together playing golf and I meant to send him an emoji in our conversation, but accidentally sent an emoji sticker of my wife and me doing doggystyle. I quickly deleted it on my side, but it was still visible on his side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 You deserved it 547

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Anonymous · 6 September 2025, 15:00 ·Toledo, United States

Name that tune!

Today, I signed up for karaoke at a bar, thinking I’d picked a fun, easy song. When it started playing, I realized I'd unknowingly chosen the eight-minute extended remix with two full guitar solos. I had to awkwardly sway on stage for five minutes while everyone drank their beers silently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146 You deserved it 377

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Jeff · 6 September 2025, 09:00 ·Des Moines, United States

That one awkward guy

Today, I tried to compliment a girl at my gym by saying, “Wow, you’re really strong!” She smiled and said, “Thanks.” Then, probably to be polite, she said, “You’re really… trying.” That was her actual word choice. I went home and considered canceling my membership, but I found out that it's designed to be almost impossible to leave the gym. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317 You deserved it 181

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Anonymous · 5 September 2025, 22:00 ·London, United Kingdom

SHAME! SHAME! SHAME!

Today, I got on a train and spotted a free seat. I rushed over, sat down and sighed with relief, only to realize people were looking at me. That’s when I saw the “Reserved for the elderly or disabled” sign…and the man with a cane standing in front of me. I immediately offered him the seat, but he just shook his head and said, “You’re gonna need it after this shaming.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 138 You deserved it 396

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff

FOCUS!

Today, we got a new seating arrangement in my science class. I'm now sitting between two people who have spent the last 20 minutes whispering dirty things to one another. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 573 You deserved it 2 716

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Anonymous · 5 September 2025, 12:00 ·Nelspruit, South Africa

Respect the hustle

Today, I found out, after months of being made to think I'm crazy, that my girlfriend has a complete online presence across 10+ cam/OnyFans/websites/Telegram, etc. It's my biggest trigger, my previous partner did the same on a much bigger scale. She denied it to the point of me moving out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471 You deserved it 107

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Lauren · 5 September 2025, 09:00 ·Melbourne, Australia

Sometimes, it's better to say nothing

Today, I got into an elevator with a stranger. The silence was so awkward that I muttered, “Sometimes I pretend I’m on a reality show.” The stranger just stared at me until the doors opened. We work on the same floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 You deserved it 513

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Anonymous · 5 September 2025, 00:00 ·United States

Some girls are bigger than others

Today, my girlfriend is pissed at me and crying that I bodyshamed her. She wants to do that cutesy shit of wearing my clothes and hoodies but she outweighs me by more than 50lbs. I’ve offered to buy her hoodies and spray my cologne on them for her, but I guess that’s not good enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 552 You deserved it 127

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Anonymous · 4 September 2025, 20:00 ·United States

Glad to help

Today, while waiting in line at Starbucks, the person behind me started venting about their breakup. I assumed they were on the phone with a friend, so I nodded along. After 5 minutes, I realized they were talking directly to me. I ended up giving relationship advice while holding a frappuccino I didn’t even order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333 You deserved it 172

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Intheway · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

Mixed signals

Today, the guy I've been dating told me that I need to stop hanging on him in public because it's ruining his game with other girls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 728 You deserved it 6 184

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Anonymous · 3 September 2025, 09:00 ·Castleford, United Kingdom

Nope, not looking that up

Today, my brother let his kids watch anime without even looking at what they chose. He assumed it was OK because it’s just foreign cartoons. He is now blaming me for his kids' trauma, because I wasn’t there to warn him that "The Promised Neverland" isn’t just a Peter Pan rip off. IF YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390 You deserved it 89

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alannj03 · 3 September 2025, 03:00 ·United States

"Probably"?

Today, I'm considering faking my death in order to get out of my relationship. My girlfriend got in a car accident that left her disfigured, and I no longer find her attractive. I met someone at work who's a better fit for me. I know I'm probably an asswipe, but is it wrong to want a partner whom I'm attracted to? FML

I agree, your life sucks 196 You deserved it 994

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I'm innocent I swear · 2 September 2025, 20:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

What have you been up to?

Today, my period was a few days late, so my anxiety kicked in and I told my husband I was worried about being pregnant. He pointedly said that pregnancy requires sex, and I suddenly remembered we haven't had sex in months. I haven't cheated, but good luck convincing his suspicious ass of that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148 You deserved it 731

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BubbleBladeBunz · 1 September 2025, 15:00

I'm never going to live this down

Today, there's no door between the bathroom and bedroom. So far we've managed all number 2 s(h)ituations without trouble, but I'm on my period, which comes with period poops. He usually sleeps like the dead. I was mid-evacuation of a multi-missile launch when he sat up, wide awake, eye contact, grin on his face. "Hah! I KNEW YOU'D BE THE FIRST!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 392 You deserved it 113

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Anonymous · 1 September 2025, 03:00 ·United States

Be the change you want to see in the world

Today, unfortunately, my friend is a victim of domestic violence and I want to be there for her. The dilemma is that I was abused for 7 months by one of her buddies and she's basically making it out as if it didn't happen. Basically downplaying my trauma all because it's her "homie." Double standards or what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 475 You deserved it 118

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Anonymous · 31 August 2025, 03:00 ·United Kingdom

Chill out, dude

Today, I told my boyfriend I’m pregnant. He broke down crying because his mother is going to be so mad at him. He’s in his 30’s and we've lived together for over 4 years, it’s not like it was a drunken mistake, it just happened naturally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426 You deserved it 131

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Anonymous · 30 August 2025, 15:00 ·United States

America's got talent

Today, I connected my phone to my car’s Bluetooth to listen to music. I didn’t realize my playlist had shuffled onto an old voice memo where I'd drunkenly recorded myself singing a heartfelt love song about pizza. It played as my boss got in for our carpool to a conference. I had to sit through the drive while she hummed along to “Cheese, you complete me.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 105 You deserved it 429

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Tag · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·Perth, Australia

It wasn't me

Today, a woman screamed at me for five minutes, demanding to know how long I'd been having an affair with her husband. I explained for the second time that she'd dialed a wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 375 You deserved it 2 784

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Anonymous · 29 August 2025, 15:00 ·United States

I can explain

Today, on my lunch break, I was walking to my car balancing 3 tacos, soda and napkins. A gust of wind blew my napkins up the street. In my attempt to catch them, I tripped onto the sidewalk. The tacos landed inside a car. Its owner came out just in time to see me standing next to their dash covered in salsa and lettuce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321 You deserved it 164

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Anonymous · 29 August 2025, 00:00 ·United Kingdom

Soda Pop

Today, it's 1:30 in the goddamn morning and I can’t sleep because my boyfriend is so obsessed with KPop Demon Hunters that he's in bed next to me listening to the songs with his headphones at full volume. He might actually be addicted, as he says he physically can’t make himself stop listening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347 You deserved it 93

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katsumi · 28 August 2025, 22:00 ·Setagaya-ku, Japan

Crossed wires

Today, I spent hours carefully writing a super-polite email to an international law firm about an invoice mistake. I finally pressed send, only to realize I had addressed it to my gym trainer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 You deserved it 338

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Jadwiga · 27 August 2025, 20:00 ·Prague, Czechia 🌶️ Spicy

Awesome

Today, when my boyfriend came home, I was crying and told him I was pregnant. His immediate response was, "Awesome! Pregnant girls are always horny and we won't need protection for the next few months!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 422 You deserved it 197

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