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Today, I slipped on my icy front porch, fell back and hit my head on the step. I tried to get up, but lost my balance and fell halfway into the bush next to the steps. I then looked up to see my very hot, British, Ex-Special Forces next door neighbor laughing so hard he dropped his snow shovel. FML

#7757731
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23545) - you deserved it (2884)

On 01/31/2010 at 9:12pm - misc - by youlyingjerk (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got fired over MSN. I wasn't even online at the time. FML

#13694009
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23546) - you deserved it (2469)

On 11/02/2010 at 10:16pm - work - by werewolfoflondon (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a friend of mine was talking about how he'd spent over 30 hours on Call of Duty. I piped up and said "Oh yeah! Well I've spent well over 300 hours on Morrowind! Beat that!" To which he replied, "I've had sex. Beat that!" I couldn't. FML

#4432884
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23544) - you deserved it (64313)

On 08/10/2009 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Morrowindwhore (man) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend got engaged to a co-worker. I got her the job. FML

#19025150
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23544) - you deserved it (3709)

On 02/08/2012 at 8:08am - love - by D-Man (man) - United States

Today, I was worried about my brother because he said that his new medication was making him hallucinate. I told him he should see a doctor right away. He said it was fine and that he had already seen a doctor. I later found out the doctor he was talking about was a hallucination. FML

#19536164
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23543) - you deserved it (2306)

On 04/27/2012 at 4:22am - health - by PickedOff (woman) - United States

Today, I was suntanning outside, when I had a bout of nausea. I rushed to the toilet, hoping at all costs to just dry-heave it away. When I lifted the lid, I was faced with two of the most rancid floaters I've ever seen, courtesy of my live-in gran. Well, my stomach's empty now. FML

#20025166
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23543) - you deserved it (1775)

On 08/16/2012 at 8:22pm - health - by rainbows? more like shitstorms (man) - United States

Today, I fell off a ladder while building a shelter for one of my wife's horses. I think I broke some ribs. I absolutely hate horses. FML

#18499022
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23540) - you deserved it (5931)

On 12/12/2011 at 10:47pm - health - by CessnaPilot - United States (Texas)

Today, I waited until the last minute to do my Christmas shopping. Today, I also discovered that my bank account has been frozen due to suspicious activity. FML

#6887241
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23535) - you deserved it (7772)

On 12/22/2009 at 4:54pm - money - by DumbLackofLuck (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was using a power drill to take down the set for the musical we just finished. My long hair got caught in the drill, got ripped out and now I have a hurting, bleeding bald spot the size of 2 quarters. FML

#8963973
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23534) - you deserved it (12757)

On 03/10/2010 at 1:11am - misc - by bdavis - Canada (Quebec)

Today, everyone in my house has a horrible stomach flu. My two toddler nephews don't understand that they need to throw up in the bathroom, so they just blow chunks everywhere. I have to clean it up, while trying not to do the same. FML

Today, after having lost 11 pounds following my pregnancy, I felt sexy and put on a cute outfit for my husband. When he walked into the bedroom, he ended up passing me three times, and then went to bed without a word. FML

#20077825
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23532) - you deserved it (2440)

On 09/18/2012 at 2:24pm - love - by tiffany - Canada

Today, while I was working customer support, a lady hung up on me mid-sentence, and I trailed off, saying "…aaannnddd you hung up on me like a bitch." Turned out she was still on the line and had just accidentally hit mute. FML

#21232769
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23528) - you deserved it (36163)

On 08/08/2014 at 8:16pm - work - by suspended (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I lost my virginity to an ultrasound probe. FML

#8433301
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23525) - you deserved it (3854)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by kaitlin - Australia (Victoria)



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