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Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML

#20020512
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19524) - you deserved it (1366)

On 08/14/2012 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up and decided that I no longer give a fuck what I look like. Today is also the day a very attractive exchange student joined my private band lessons. FML

#18943419
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19521) - you deserved it (11119)

On 01/29/2012 at 2:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out my parents' New Year's resolution is to get me to move out. FML

#14419027
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19517) - you deserved it (8562)

On 01/01/2011 at 1:59am - misc - by Moving On - United States (Michigan)

Today, I met someone with the same name as me for the first time ever. I'm 20 years old, he is 97. FML

#467
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19515) - you deserved it (3991)

On 12/08/2008 at 3:46am - misc - by Heyhey - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went on a second date with a guy I really liked, and we started chatting over dinner. That's when he told me about his paranoia, and how he's unsure if I'm out to get him or not. FML

#19747527
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19515) - you deserved it (1922)

On 06/07/2012 at 12:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, I went snowboarding for the first time. I was so scared I passed out. I was only on the kiddy hill. FML

#18741801
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19514) - you deserved it (9573)

On 01/08/2012 at 12:38am - misc - by scardeycat13 - United States (New York)

Today, I was taking a relaxing bath. My cat decided to sit on the ledge, which is normal for her, but today she fell in. I never knew how painful it was to be scratched down there until today. FML

#20038908
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19514) - you deserved it (2311)

On 08/24/2012 at 5:33am - animals - by murphy22 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I decided to delete my Facebook account. My older sister repeatedly called me in tears asking why I'm cutting her out of my life. It seems I can't get rid of social media without my family taking offence. FML

#20145432
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19513) - you deserved it (1806)

On 11/03/2012 at 6:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I finally realized how stupid I am, when I answered a question correctly in class and my teacher started clapping and cheering. FML

#20096827
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19509) - you deserved it (3826)

On 10/01/2012 at 2:24pm - misc - by dumbgirl4lyf (woman) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, at work, I dropped a heavy block of lead on my hand. On my hunt for ice, I had to tell my manager - who told her manager, who told the chief - in the end, the whole department found out and they made me fill in two long arsed incident reports. I had to fill them in myself with my busted up hand. FML

#7192176
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19508) - you deserved it (2758)

On 01/07/2010 at 12:19am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I ate brunch at my in-laws. The food all tasted off to me so I didn't eat much, telling my mother-in-law I was watching my weight. Later on, while out doing a bit of shopping, I stopped at a red light. Guess who pulled up next to me while I was scarfing a fast food burger. FML

#20405883
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19506) - you deserved it (26004)

On 12/18/2012 at 5:02pm - misc - by drkate25 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, as always, I have a very weak stomach. I'm in Japan right now, and all the unfamiliar foods set me off every time I eat. I can choose between having a great time and starving myself half to death, or sitting in my hotel room all day with stomach pains and diarrhea. FML

#19899821
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19504) - you deserved it (2800)

On 07/06/2012 at 12:04pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I went to my weekly AA meeting. It was a huge crowd and I was the guest speaker. Not 5 minutes into my speech, I was booed off stage and banned from further attendance because I accidentally wore a Jack Daniel's shirt. FML

#21217633
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19507) - you deserved it (45821)

On 07/22/2014 at 7:20pm - health - by dypshyyt - United States (Florida)



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