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Today, I found out I have dandruff when a chick passed by and said out loud to her friends: "That dude's hair is having an early Xmas!" FML

#10733187
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25713) - you deserved it (6379)

On 05/24/2010 at 12:14pm - health - by Dandruff - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss said to me: 'You know, our competitors are also hiring!' FML

#295
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25712) - you deserved it (2548)

On 11/13/2008 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, it finally clicked in my mind how desperately lonely I am, when I shaved one of my legs just to find out what a woman's leg feels like. FML

#20022524
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25710) - you deserved it (8399)

On 08/15/2012 at 12:46pm - love - by lonely. (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I sat in on a university-level physics lecture, listening to my hyped-up co-students approximating the hypothetical situation of the Sun consisting of gerbils. The conversation then continued towards how much better energy/mass ratio the gerbil-sun would have compared to the actual star. FML

#21258867
88 comments

Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML

#1387325
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25708) - you deserved it (125525)

On 04/27/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by BARF (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friend asked why I always smell like a dead animal carcass. I have no idea. FML

#13185794
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25708) - you deserved it (7532)

On 09/24/2010 at 7:10pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at the supermarket when I saw an elderly lady slip on a wet patch of floor. I ran over to help, and I almost fell too before steadying myself. Then some pimply cockmunch of a teen decided to kick my legs out from under me and walk away while laughing his balls off. FML

#19558069
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25708) - you deserved it (2034)

On 05/01/2012 at 12:17pm - health - by karmafails (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I listened to a woman take an extremely fragrant crap while I waited for my pregnacy test result in the Target bathroom. FML

#6732796
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25707) - you deserved it (23992)

On 12/13/2009 at 1:26am - health - by teeeessst (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my mom duly informed me I'm the reason people have middle fingers. FML

#14413679
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25707) - you deserved it (5757)

On 12/31/2010 at 8:16pm - misc - by edulover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to several young children why asking the new blind girl to play hide and seek with them is inappropriate. FML

#21439546
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25707) - you deserved it (2219)

On 07/10/2015 at 12:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, at work, I tripped and fell face-first into a food display. As I picked myself up, totally humiliated, I tripped again and fell right back into it, earning a bunch of pitying looks from nearby customers. FML

#21387468
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25706) - you deserved it (3392)

On 04/04/2015 at 10:35am - work - by Anonymous (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, it's hot and sunny, and a customer asked me how I was, I responded by saying "It's a hot sunny day. Who doesn't love the sun?" He responded by telling me he had just had three melanomas cut out. I guess I did find someone who doesn't like the sun. FML

#15933136
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25704) - you deserved it (5159)

On 04/26/2011 at 11:03am - health - by fifthtimesacharm -

Today, I realized that the "eyelash curling brush" that my best friend found in my old bathroom drawer was actually a stick used for cleaning food out of my sister's braces. I used that thing for years. FML

#20519962
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25703) - you deserved it (13478)

On 02/24/2013 at 9:30am - misc - by curly_eyelashes - Canada (Ontario)



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