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Today, I went swimming. While I was walking along side of the pool, everyone was staring at me. I began to think that my diet was really working. It was only an hour later, in the changing rooms, that I noticed the string from my Tampax that was sticking out of my swimming costume. FML

#627
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19851) - you deserved it (4879)

On 12/30/2008 at 1:24am - misc - by mimimi - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got up the courage to go to my very first voice lesson. I thought I did alright, but at the end my teacher told me, "Now don't worry about grades in this class, I grade on effort, not on talent." FML

#11698
9 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19850) - you deserved it (2536)

On 02/06/2009 at 2:25pm - misc - by Lizz (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because I saw him with another woman. I confronted both of them in screaming rage "What the fuck? Are you cheating on me with this ugly slut?" They were in shock. Turns out it was his cousin visiting from New Jersey, he was gonna introduce us at dinner. FML

#300498
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19848) - you deserved it (187985)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:18am - love - by nowthatsfcked (woman) - Canada

Today, every time I write the word "analyst," I can't help but giggle because it begins with "anal." I'm 24, and studying to be a conflict analyst. FML

#20886867
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19848) - you deserved it (30146)

On 09/18/2013 at 6:59pm - work - by Sunny (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, driving home, my girlfriend and I decided we were finally going to have sex. We got in the backseat, then I opened my condom to find it was already broken. We ended up playing connect four instead. FML

#6105149
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19847) - you deserved it (4804)

On 11/01/2009 at 5:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, during a family dinner, my favourite underwire bra got tired of its job and tried to shish-kebab my boobs. FML

#20065022
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19847) - you deserved it (1932)

On 09/09/2012 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend told me she didn't want to get it on with me because she didn't want to ruin my innocence. FML

#5141193
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19838) - you deserved it (3367)

On 09/09/2009 at 12:13am - intimacy - by Magnus_the_Red (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was practicing for a choir concert that I have next week. My mom walked into my room and listened to me for a little while. After I finished the last song, she smiled, patted me on the head and said, "It's okay honey, I can't sing either." FML

#19590549
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19837) - you deserved it (2493)

On 05/08/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by Ellie (woman) - United States

Today, I am exhausted and can barely move after being up all night taking care of my drunk and vomiting husband. He, on the other hand, feels much better and is bounding with energy. FML

#19800781
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19835) - you deserved it (2574)

On 06/17/2012 at 8:34am - health - by Shenza - United States (New York)

Today, I trimmed my beard. When I showed my wife, she said, "Yeah, but you still look like a serial killer." FML

#19797072
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19831) - you deserved it (4638)

On 06/16/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by Schaf_12 (man) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I walked past a church with a bunch of people standing outside waiting for the bride and groom to walk out. When the church doors opened, I yelled congratulations as loud as I could. It was a funeral. FML

#811533
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19825) - you deserved it (73475)

On 04/05/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by oops (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML

#19602885
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19825) - you deserved it (4567)

On 05/10/2012 at 3:14pm - misc - by Amy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I called my mum, crying because of my low self-esteem. She interrupted my sobs by saying, "Can I hang up now? The phone's getting hot." FML

#19567483
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19824) - you deserved it (5269)

On 05/03/2012 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia



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