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Today, my mother followed me to work to see what I got up to. I'm a fitness instructor in a ground floor gym that has big windows overlooking the street. She stood outside and waved at me for half an hour, while I tried to concentrate on teaching a visibly amused class. FML

#17836220
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21695) - you deserved it (1958)

On 09/26/2011 at 12:28am - work - by Username - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dad insisted on having a family movie night. He chose the movies Jaws and Mayday. I'm going on a diving expedition tomorrow. FML

#19271191
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21693) - you deserved it (2516)

On 03/13/2012 at 1:59pm - misc - by Samantha - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my pregnant wife broke down in tears over the fact that since moving to Brazil for my job, we don't have regular access to macaroni and cheese. FML

#20032360
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21693) - you deserved it (5556)

On 08/20/2012 at 6:06pm - health - by stupidbullcrêpe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I told my mom I was going out to hang out with some friends. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "Don't lie to me." FML

#19687214
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21692) - you deserved it (2285)

On 05/27/2012 at 4:00am - misc - by cloudberry - United States (New York)

Today, I took my driving test. Completing the test, we returned and parked at the testing facility. As my tester was complimenting me, I leaned down to wind my window up, catching my long hair in the window. Frantically thrashing, I put the car in drive and floored it into a concrete wall. FML

#969967
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21689) - you deserved it (55225)

On 04/14/2009 at 1:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, was the first day of my new job. My boss admitted that they hadn't cleaned the employee bathroom for over two months. My first task: clean the employee bathroom. FML

#19343109
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21686) - you deserved it (1753)

On 03/25/2012 at 3:12am - misc - by LesToiliettes - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went for a jog. I was 5 km away from home when I had a sudden urge to poop. I didn't want to use the bushes, so I thought I could hold it in. I was wrong. FML

#19890134
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21686) - you deserved it (5048)

On 07/04/2012 at 9:48am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I surprisingly found two empty seats on the subway. Before anyone could get to them, I rushed and triumphantly sat down, enjoying my victory, until I noticed why they were empty. I had just sat down next to a guy vigorously trying to fellate himself. FML

#20007431
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21683) - you deserved it (5739)

On 08/07/2012 at 9:19am - intimacy - by Nightmares - United States

Today, I went to an underwear shop, and an employee recommended me a push-up bra. I was wearing one. FML

#1427
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21680) - you deserved it (2064)

On 01/17/2009 at 6:31am - misc - by Pakundo - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at a party, chatting up this guy while we were petting my friends dog. The dog had just been outside and was kinda wet, I assumed it was raining out. Just then someone came up and said "Um, that dog's covered in pee." Apparently someone peed off the deck onto the dog as it walked by. FML

#7093721
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21679) - you deserved it (2488)

On 01/01/2010 at 11:40pm - animals - by ninjapup (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my daughter turned 18. She decided to use this day to tell me everywhere her and her boyfriends have had sex in my house to get revenge for being overprotective. FML

#16451971
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21679) - you deserved it (57596)

On 06/01/2011 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my 15-year-old son begged me to pre-order the next season of My Little Pony. FML

#20002664
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21679) - you deserved it (6381)

On 08/04/2012 at 7:04pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was holding on to a shirt that I planned on buying, when an elderly man bumped into me. The shirt fell out of my hand, and slid just out the door. I went to the counter to explain what happened. Everyone accused me of trying to steal it anyway. FML

#13757494
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21678) - you deserved it (2606)

On 11/07/2010 at 9:25pm - misc - by Telinaa (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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