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Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my visibly drunk uncle stood up and denounced the minister for "preaching yer god shite where it weren't never be welcome". FML

#19276871
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20792) - you deserved it (2228)

On 03/14/2012 at 10:38am - love - by mel_bear_ (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I walked in on my dad and his new "girlfriend". A couple days ago I realized that my sexy clothes that my boyfriend had bought me for our anniversary was missing. Guess who was wearing it? FML

#6161509
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20788) - you deserved it (1731)

On 11/05/2009 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Meggie - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got into a car crash, in my own garage. FML

#20643761
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20787) - you deserved it (40218)

On 05/05/2013 at 7:51pm - misc - by LilaTheGreat - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while walking home, I passed some guy loudly whining that foreign imports are destroying our economy, and that we should all be deported. When I pointed out that the mobile phone in his hand was clearly a Samsung, he turned bright red and punched me in the gut. FML

#19964945
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20785) - you deserved it (4285)

On 07/20/2012 at 6:45pm - health - by fxck (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I realized that my neighbors can not only hear me singing in the shower through my apartment's paper-thin walls, they also take great delight in recording it so that they can play it at high volume for their friends when they next throw a party. I want to disappear. FML

#20022923
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20781) - you deserved it (3689)

On 08/15/2012 at 5:14pm - misc - by ShowerStar (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend tried to convince me that she never takes dumps. I told her that as long as she eats, it's a biological impossibility, but she seems to have genuinely deluded herself into thinking it's true, purely because she is a girl. FML

#19997167
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20782) - you deserved it (2798)

On 08/01/2012 at 8:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I was at the doctor's office and the doctor asked me "have you been having any intimate relations?" and the first thing that I blurted out was, "you mean with other people?" FML

#722108
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20777) - you deserved it (67307)

On 03/31/2009 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I saw an old man who needed help crossing the street. I went over to him and helped him across the street. When he thanked me, I said, "No problem, sir." They responded by hitting me in the happy sacks and screaming that they were a woman. FML

#6467365
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20776) - you deserved it (6424)

On 11/26/2009 at 7:26pm - misc - by anniecook (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out my college friends are going to attack me after Christmas and attempt to tickle me to death. All because they know that I hate to be tickled. They are also going to make a Facebook group dedicated to the matter so people can join in if they wish. FML

#6908473
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20774) - you deserved it (4888)

On 12/23/2009 at 7:29pm - misc - by rie (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I found out that one of my university flatmates arrived early for Freshers Week, and had a party which involved the place being trashed. I'm going to lose some of my deposit for damage caused before I even arrived. FML

#17759197
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20774) - you deserved it (1840)

On 09/16/2011 at 6:10pm - misc - by Authentik8 (man) - United Kingdom (Croydon)

Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML

#16596385
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20771) - you deserved it (47630)

On 06/10/2011 at 3:06pm - love - by gabxoxo03 - United States (New York)

Today, I bought my cats two new litter boxes in hopes that they would use them. They still prefer to pee on the clothes in my closet. FML

#17509957
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20767) - you deserved it (6407)

On 08/18/2011 at 1:40pm - animals - by princessbbee - United States

Today, my son thought it would be a great idea to spray a whole can of spray tan all over my freshly-painted white bathroom walls as an "experiment". He's 18. FML

#20010519
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20764) - you deserved it (2797)

On 08/08/2012 at 11:29pm - kids - by bellabreeze - United States (Maine)



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