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Today, I got a call from my grandmother. Turns out my father found out about my elopement with my husband through my stepmother, because someone she works with told her. We were planning on it being a surprise, and telling people on Christmas. My father won't even talk to me now. FML

#14044640
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7382) - you deserved it (17771)

On 12/01/2010 at 3:08am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend was inside a cell phone store talking to a sales guy while I waited outside. I sent him a text, not realizing that the guy was using his phone to call customer service. A topless photo of me shows up on his phone when I text him. The sales guy looked. Twice. FML

#15183432
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7382) - you deserved it (40650)

On 03/03/2011 at 3:32am - intimacy - by LLCoolBean (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mother called to say that my 11 year old nephew found my secret stash of nipple tassles, furry hand cuffs, and a bottle of lube. He doesn't want to visit me anymore. FML

#5874
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7381) - you deserved it (18976)

On 02/03/2009 at 1:51am - kids - by peneloperigby (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I planned my own wedding down to the very last detail, including favours for my guests, the sweets buffet and the bouquet of flower brooches I want. Too bad I'm still single. FML

#7516892
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7381) - you deserved it (28432)

On 01/23/2010 at 5:27am - love - by SINGLE (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I learned how to wolf-whistle properly, and then learned what it feels like to be slapped on the head. FML

#16796718
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7381) - you deserved it (25765)

On 06/22/2011 at 9:31am - misc - by youknowwhatitis - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on my knees and be your dog." FML

#18886717
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7381) - you deserved it (21112)

On 01/23/2012 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, realizing how poor I am, I decided to steal gas. The only place I was brave enough to steal from was my parents' lawn mower. FML

#18518938
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7380) - you deserved it (22982)

On 12/15/2011 at 10:49am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, in a desperate attempt to get my business "out there", I dropped a few of my cards on a station floor. I got a call, even a quote. A $500 fine from the transit for public littering. FML

#17837953
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7378) - you deserved it (20040)

On 09/26/2011 at 7:46am - money - by Sam - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my friend and I dressed up as dice for Halloween. The rest of the night consisted of us, harassed by drunks asking, 'Can we roll you around?' and constantly being shaken. FML

#13648251
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7377) - you deserved it (19968)

On 10/30/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, while walking to work, I swore I saw one of my old friends from college standing in the park across the street. I started shouting her name and waving my hands like a maniac to get her attention. It was a statue. FML

#19447038
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7376) - you deserved it (14492)

On 04/10/2012 at 11:49pm - misc - by Becca (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I crapped in my pants and had to wait an hour of commuting till I could clean it up. What a sight and smell it was on the subway. Thank God I had sunglasses to wear. FML

#2443
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7373) - you deserved it (17240)

On 01/24/2009 at 1:56pm - love - by screwed - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, one of my nostrils became completely blocked. At lunch time, I went out to my car to dig into my nose. When I finished, I held up the cornflake sized booger in victory. I noticed too late that my boss was in a car adjacent to me, shooting me a horrified look. FML

#19363371
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7374) - you deserved it (20849)

On 03/28/2012 at 12:25pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, a guy asked me why I'm single. As a joke, I told him that not only do I have a penis, but that it's so large that most men are intimidated by it. He wasn't impressed. And I actually wonder why I'm single. FML

#19460491
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7372) - you deserved it (17686)

On 04/13/2012 at 9:11am - intimacy - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom (York)



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