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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, in the middle of sex my boyfriend asked if he could use the bathroom. It would've been fine, if he didn't fall asleep on the toilet. FML

#19216663
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22356) - you deserved it (2581)

On 03/04/2012 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by Karen (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while sleeping over at my guy friend's house, I woke up mid-air after falling off his abnormally high loft bed. Luckily, there was a table and 3 shot glasses to break my fall. FML

#6668848
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22356) - you deserved it (3289)

On 12/08/2009 at 7:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my brother saw my side when my shirt came up, and asked when I got a tattoo; the pink he saw was in fact my stretch marks. Worst of all, I had to show them to everyone to prove I didn't actually get a tattoo. FML

#20096505
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22355) - you deserved it (2552)

On 10/01/2012 at 7:35am - health - by screw life (woman) - United States

Today, I dropped my kid into a crowded wishing fountain instead of a coin. FML

#21235686
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22355) - you deserved it (36585)

On 08/12/2014 at 6:21am - kids - by jake - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML

#11935766
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22356) - you deserved it (43187)

On 07/17/2010 at 2:16am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I played a Jazz gig. It rained, making the tent the band performed under heavy with water. When I stepped forward to play my solo, the front end of the tent collapsed under the weight of the rain, drenching me. FML

#17617354
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22350) - you deserved it (2196)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:56pm - misc - by TheJazzKid - United States (California)

Today, I was at the library using a computer to order a package. A man sat down next to me mumbling to himself while staring at me. As I got up to go to the printer, he pointed at me and screamed, "I will burn you alive and enjoy it!" All of my info including my address was still on the computer screen. FML

#20161493
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22349) - you deserved it (4649)

On 11/13/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by sarahcurtis213 - United States

Today, I got out of the shower and walked into my living room to see my sis' and her boyfriend sitting very closely on our family's fairly large couch. I laughed and said, "Look at the happy couple." Then her now ex-boyfriend burst into tears. Turns out they'd just broken up. FML

#21345785
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22373) - you deserved it (2981)

On 01/28/2015 at 7:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I got a mass text message from a friend saying she's sorry she can't meet up with our group of friends for drinks because she's busy tonight. This is the first I've heard of any bar-crawling. FML

#17577753
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22347) - you deserved it (2150)

On 08/25/2011 at 2:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was working at my new job at a food court on campus. One of the supervisors came up to my station and told me that I "really look like someone who, through some miracle, accidentally found their way into college." He then threw a pickle at me. FML

#17836601
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22345) - you deserved it (2258)

On 09/26/2011 at 1:18am - work - by SakuraBreeze (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my younger brother brought home his new bagpipes. My older brother plays the drums. I'm currently preparing to sit the most important exams of my schooling life. FML

#17869851
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22345) - you deserved it (2024)

On 09/30/2011 at 8:52am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML

#19641324
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22345) - you deserved it (5955)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:13am - kids - by 23yearoldtoddler - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were going through some troubles in our relationship, and she said to me, "No offense, but I really hope no other relationship I have in the future will be like this one." Some offense taken. FML

#20141147
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22343) - you deserved it (2739)

On 10/31/2012 at 12:22am - love - by anon (woman) - United States (New York)



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