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Today, I decided to break up with my boyfriend. The main reason being that he doesn't value my time, and fails to see how canceling at the last minute is rude and a major inconvenience. I wanted to be respectful enough by breaking things off face to face. He cancelled, at the last minute. FML

#21433097
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27121) - you deserved it (2428)

On 06/28/2015 at 1:06am - love - by Waste Someone Else's Time - United States

Today, it's Saturday. While all my friends go out to have fun, I get my excitement thinking about how I'll be sleeping with a new pillow. FML

#6733477
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27120) - you deserved it (6535)

On 12/13/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by soy_un_perderdor (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was singing and playing keyboards with my band on stage at a club. A drunken chick from the crowd tried to climb up onto the stage in her heels, fell, and grabbed the back of my mic stand to catch herself. And busted me in the mouth with my own microphone. Then she requested a song. FML

#13122832
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27120) - you deserved it (2545)

On 09/20/2010 at 12:47am - misc - by northernlass (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was helping out during the school play's interval. My head of year jokingly asked me to follow him around with these mini cocktail sausages for the rest of the school year. I thought it would be witty to reply, "Does that make me your official sausage holder?" FML

#21378332
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27118) - you deserved it (8541)

On 03/20/2015 at 10:41am - love - by MirandaJones (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my family and I were driving and we passed a strip club called DB's Golden Banana. My 5-year-old sister asked what it was, so my dad said it was a place where people dance. Now my sister keeps telling people she wants to be a dancer at DB's Golden Banana. FML

#21432491
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27115) - you deserved it (2963)

On 06/26/2015 at 7:32pm - kids - by tycrist8 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I pointed out to my girlfriend that she wasn't jealous. She replied, "Well actually, I am, I just can't prove it cause no one else is interested in you". FML

#466
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27114) - you deserved it (3977)

On 12/08/2008 at 2:26am - love - by Numou - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up to a repairman at my door who was simply supposed to turn my water back on in my apartment. Two hours and 5 repairmen later, all I have now is a large hole in my ceiling. Still no water. FML

#14928606
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27114) - you deserved it (2244)

On 02/10/2011 at 10:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - China

Today, I went bra shopping with my mother. She insisted that I try on a bunch of push-up bras, and I told her I didn't want to, because it's false advertising. She looked at me and said that I need all the help I can get. FML

#19800158
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27115) - you deserved it (4455)

On 06/17/2012 at 3:11am - misc - by historyfreak_17 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was working as a clown (Pennywise) in a haunted maze. A bunch of drunk guys came in and started breaking props. I decided to stay still and follow through with the scare. I ended up getting kicked in a very sensitive area. The security guard just laughed. FML

#7899176
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27111) - you deserved it (4153)

On 02/05/2010 at 3:23am - work - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, it took me and my husband three hours to put our new book shelves together. It took our cat all of three seconds to knock it all down. FML

#18039079
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27111) - you deserved it (5174)

On 10/21/2011 at 2:58pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mother in law basically said I deserve my breast cancer, all because I declined to take part in one of her "March Against Cancer" events a while ago. I guess donating money to cancer research instead of going on a meaningless march really messed up my karma. FML

#21486368
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27111) - you deserved it (1637)

On 10/31/2015 at 1:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was convinced to face my fears of rollercoasters by a friend. I'm writing this at the highest point of the ride after being stuck over thirty minutes. FML

Today, my spouse asked me if I could transfer some of the passion I have for buffalo wings into our relationship. FML



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