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Today, my boyfriend stole a guy's cookie. As revenge, he stole my iPod. FML

#8800810
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23232) - you deserved it (3434)

On 03/03/2010 at 3:35pm - misc - by ROLLY - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my best friend's mom doesn't wear pyjamas when I got up to go get a glass of water in the middle of the night, at the same time she did. FML

#13204621
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23229) - you deserved it (3005)

On 09/26/2010 at 1:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend about having plans on tonight so he'd think I had a life outside of him. All my "friends" are going to a party. I'm not invited. FML

#7512878
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23229) - you deserved it (6185)

On 01/23/2010 at 12:04am - love - by voltronn - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was severely chewed out by my boss because, according to him, I look down on him too often. I'm 6ft5. FML

#20162604
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23227) - you deserved it (1575) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/13/2012 at 4:23pm - work - by makiju - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was getting frisky with my fiancée when she started talking about her dead great-grandma. FML

#13415176
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23226) - you deserved it (3145)

On 10/12/2010 at 12:48am - intimacy - by tdiz - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was cooking something I knew would make a lot of smoke, so I asked my teenage daughter to tape a bag over the smoke detector. She said she did, so I cooked; the alarm went off and firemen came. She hadn't taped over the smoke detector, she'd taped it over the doorbell. FML

#20106895
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23226) - you deserved it (4265)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:31am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my best friend if he would do me the honour of becoming my son's godfather. He replied, "Um, that's just rude. You know I'm an atheist." Huh? FML

#19989164
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23226) - you deserved it (7767)

On 07/28/2012 at 2:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my cheater of an ex-boyfriend sent me one of his many messages proclaiming his new-found love for me, and in the middle of it asked me how my period was going. FML

#2979
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23224) - you deserved it (1917)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:47am - love - by uninspired - United States (Illinois)

Today, I playfully nudged my friend on the shoulder. She countered by shoving me head-first into a trash can. FML

#16077994
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23224) - you deserved it (9421)

On 05/07/2011 at 12:26pm - misc - by Cheerieful - United States

Today, my friends are going to see "The Social Network". They talked about it all through dinner, even though I was sitting right there and I hadn't been invited. When I asked about it, one of them said, "You wouldn't be interested", presumably because I don't use Facebook. He doesn't either. FML

#13281486
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23223) - you deserved it (3064)

On 10/01/2010 at 9:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper, but instead of doing so, he decided to completely kill the mood by stopping and saying it again in a Barry White type voice. FML

#19388939
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23223) - you deserved it (9513)

On 04/01/2012 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States

Today, after months of job searching, I finally got a call about one of my applications. I wasn't able to answer it, but he left a voicemail. I've listened to it over and over, and I can't understand the contact information. He called from a restricted number. FML

#20033836
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23223) - you deserved it (1566)

On 08/21/2012 at 12:45pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it finally clicked in my mind how desperately lonely I am, when I shaved one of my legs just to find out what a woman's leg feels like. FML

#20022524
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23223) - you deserved it (7897)

On 08/15/2012 at 12:46pm - love - by lonely. (man) - United States (New York)



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