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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got fired from my job at a weight-loss center because I was too skinny, and apparently it's too depressing for the customers to handle. FML

#19677400
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25362) - you deserved it (3403)

On 05/25/2012 at 7:18am - work - by jingle - United States (Delaware)

Today, I finally told my girlfriend I love her. She corrected my grammar. FML

#6978473
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25359) - you deserved it (9434)

On 12/27/2009 at 7:37pm - love - by ITalkGood - Sent from mobile version

Today, in my psychology class, we were given a sheet that had a list of stressful events and we were to select the ones we had experienced in the last 12 months. I got highest in my class of above an 80% chance of getting a life threatening illness due to stress. Everyone laughed. FML

#8160504
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25359) - you deserved it (2927)

On 02/12/2010 at 6:39am - health - by Stressy (man) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I was excited to start my new job. It was only when I was leaving after a long 8 hour day did I realize all of the personal documents I had I brought in for paperwork had been stolen. I am now down a passport, social security card, and wallet. Great first day. FML

#9123169
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25356) - you deserved it (3325)

On 03/16/2010 at 1:19am - work - by evenpoorer (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I wound up cleaning vomit out of the window track of my car at midnight, in the nicest dress I own, after my husband got completely wasted at his office Christmas party. FML

#18474443
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25356) - you deserved it (3110)

On 12/10/2011 at 5:14am - misc - by dee - United States (Oregon)

Today, I surprised my daughter by telling her that I'm going to treat the family to a trip to the Himalayas in a few months. She promptly threw a tantrum and listed her main reasons for not wanting us to go: "It's a freaking desert there," and, "I'll miss the new Spiderman movie." FML

#19463259
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25356) - you deserved it (3966)

On 04/13/2012 at 9:01pm - kids - by neverakid (man) - United States

Today, my roommate drew a giant red penis and scrotum on our refrigerator, using what he thought was a dry erase marker. It was a permanent marker. I just renewed my lease. I get to look at a red penis every day for the next year and a half. FML

#6760576
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25355) - you deserved it (4748)

On 12/15/2009 at 2:08am - misc - by Will (man) - United States

Today, I was having dinner with my college friends to celebrate the end of our first year. I said really great things about them as individuals. The only thing they had to say to me was, "Thanks for being the token black friend." FML

#19624704
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25355) - you deserved it (2937)

On 05/14/2012 at 10:23pm - misc - by foreverbrown (man) - United States

Today, I was told the Mandarin greeting that my new Chinese friends at school taught me was not really a greeting at all. I've been proclaiming "I'm a dumb bitch" every time I've greeted them, almost every day for the past month. FML

#19627538
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25352) - you deserved it (8102)

On 05/15/2012 at 3:02pm - misc - by FML (woman) - Finland

Today, I found out that when people in my apartment complex warn their kids about strangers, they use me as the example. FML

#19348901
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25351) - you deserved it (3767)

On 03/26/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by iamnotalawyer (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my brother blew chunks into the inside of my jeans. How did I find this out? I put them on. FML

#8819162
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25348) - you deserved it (2768)

On 03/04/2010 at 6:24am - misc - by AZN656 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that I was pregnant and sent a picture of the positive test to my boyfriend. Before I got a text back from him, I got his newly updated Facebook status that read "This has got to be the most depressing day of my life." FML

#20444550
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25348) - you deserved it (7076)

On 01/06/2013 at 3:17am - misc - by kiken.bara - United States

Today, I found out a 6-month pregnant woman is claiming my boyfriend to be the father. Even though this would have been previous to our relationship, he already has two kids from getting girls pregnant in high school. I guess he didn't learn his lesson the first two times. FML

#13708556
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25344) - you deserved it (15353)

On 11/03/2010 at 11:16pm - love - by bummed (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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