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Today, I was working at a portrait studio and was taking pictures of a little girl, I kept telling the girl to stop making silly faces when she smiles because her eyes go cross-eyed. After the third time I said it her mom grabbed the little girl and left. Turns out, she was naturally cross-eyed. FML

#852242
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19944) - you deserved it (52468)

On 04/07/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML

#7370
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19941) - you deserved it (34013)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:23am - animals - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got fined when my fat dog decided to walk across a private film set to get at the catering area. FML

#13433237
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19940) - you deserved it (9003)

On 10/13/2010 at 11:28am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, some construction workers kept going in and out the door next to my cubicle. They decided it would be easier to just prop the door open for the next hour. It's 20 degrees outside, and I'm wearing a dress. FML

#14543942
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19937) - you deserved it (6094)

On 01/11/2011 at 9:45am - work - by bitty (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, in the flat I share with four students, I broke our toaster. The night before, they'd successfully managed to toast chicken soup-covered crumpets in it whilst drunk. I tried to toast a teacake, and the whole thing exploded in flames and smoke. Our toaster got taken out by a raisin. FML

#17620390
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19940) - you deserved it (3436)

On 08/30/2011 at 10:53am - misc - by gofixmyhead (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, while shopping, I bumped into a guy I knew in high school. He went on about he heard I'd got married, looked like I'd had a baby, and that, "she looks just like you!" The kid was my niece, and my husband broke up with me 2 years ago. Thanks for bringing that up. FML

#19838088
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19935) - you deserved it (4600)

On 06/24/2012 at 6:57am - misc - by thankspal (woman) - United States

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

#20173351
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19935) - you deserved it (3581)

On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had an in-depth conversation at work about how technically Luke Skywalker was never a Jedi Master. Highlight of my working day. FML

#20497564
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19938) - you deserved it (5131)

On 02/07/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by djxerxes9000 - Canada

Today, I used the restrooms at the shopping mall. The cleaning lady stepped in after me, immediately turned around and very demonstratively started spraying air freshener. FML

#14320804
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19934) - you deserved it (5922)

On 12/24/2010 at 5:52am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands

Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML

#5292418
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19933) - you deserved it (93836)

On 09/16/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by sarahh38 (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, it was my first time meeting my fiancé's parents. My future mother-in-law had cooked steak, hearing it was my favourite food. I somehow managed to bite my tongue, and then blurt out "F*ck!" just after she asked me how it was. FML

#19775442
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19931) - you deserved it (7345)

On 06/12/2012 at 6:34am - misc - by perfectman (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I started my new job. It seems my colleagues are moronic pranksters, because when I leaned back in my chair, the back-rest fell apart and I fell to the ground, to much laughter. My boss immediately shouted at me to "stop fucking about." FML

#19598076
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19929) - you deserved it (1724)

On 05/09/2012 at 4:10pm - work - by dan (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I tried to set up my brand new washer and dryer. How hard can it be, right? After cutting my hand in 3 places on the dryer vent, I finished it off with electrocuting myself. So much for being a domestic goddess. FML

#6014859
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19928) - you deserved it (8828)

On 10/26/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by annie00016 (woman) - United States (Florida)



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