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Today, I got home and realized that I didn't have my keys and my mum had said she wasn't going to be home till the next morning. After a long wait I decided I'd have to break a window to get in. Almost immediately after closing the door I watched as my mum pulled up in the driveway. FML

Today, I walked in on my dad and his new "girlfriend". A couple days ago I realized that my sexy clothes that my boyfriend had bought me for our anniversary was missing. Guess who was wearing it? FML

#6161509
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22230) - you deserved it (1844)

On 11/05/2009 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Meggie - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was eating out at a restaurant downtown with my brother in-law when I told him I couldn't eat any more. He then told me, "You better, or you're walking home." He wasn't kidding. FML

#13919732
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22229) - you deserved it (3021)

On 11/21/2010 at 12:31am - misc - by Random Person - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was so tired that I fell asleep on the toilet, and then had to give my boss a valid reason for why I was late. FML

#18181534
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22228) - you deserved it (4718)

On 11/07/2011 at 1:49am - work - by Courtney - United States (Texas)

Today, I fainted for the first time in my life. I was in the shower. With my girlfriend. Apparently, my brain and my erection had a battle for who got the most blood, and my erection won. FML

#6583595
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22224) - you deserved it (3170)

On 12/03/2009 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by Silent - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML

#20860218
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22224) - you deserved it (32151) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/30/2013 at 6:59am - misc - by Anonyme (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at the local theatre watching "The Nutcracker" ballet with my mother. When the prince made his appearance in his tights my mother leans over to me and says, "Those are some well defined butt cheeks!" loud enough for everyone around us to hear. FML

#6823422
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22223) - you deserved it (2796)

On 12/19/2009 at 2:29am - misc - by Tights2Tight - United States (Ohio)

Today, I discovered that my acne glows yellow and orange under black lights while in front of a wall of them at a club. FML

#19630499
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22221) - you deserved it (2305)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:43am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after staying in bed all day for a week from sickness, I get up to tell my mom I have terrible back pain and feel extremely dizzy. After curling up on the chair next to her, not being able to keep my head up for too long, she simply stares at me and says, "Can I finish my dinner now?" FML

#13720258
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22219) - you deserved it (4909)

On 11/04/2010 at 10:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my wife checked the time while we were having sex. Twice. FML

#13622305
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22217) - you deserved it (14474)

On 10/28/2010 at 1:05am - intimacy - by unsatisfying (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I walked into the kitchen to eat some breakfast. I got a full visual of my drunk neighbor dancing naked in my backyard. FML

#19297071
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22217) - you deserved it (1842)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:41pm - misc - by vanorav (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took off the training wheels of my niece's bike. I tried to show her how to ride it, but she told me to get off because I needed a fat girl's bike. FML

#19510185
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22217) - you deserved it (5876)

On 04/22/2012 at 8:09am - kids - by Mary Kathryn (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at a concert, I noticed a cute keytarist in one of the bands. After they got off stage, I asked their bass player if she was single. He replied, "actually, she's married," holding up his left hand, he continued, "to me." FML

#1215114
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22216) - you deserved it (42593)

On 04/22/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by fastfingers409 - United States (California)



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