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Today, I started my new job as a repossession agent. While attempting to repo a boat, we came across a young couple. The woman was very annoying, and even hit another agent, so I threatened to throw her in the water if she touched him again. I ended up in the water instead. FML

#19776443
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15649) - you deserved it (11763)

On 06/12/2012 at 12:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had dinner with my grandparents. At the table, my grandfather openly complained about how hard it is for him to get out of their hot tub. Not because of his prosthetic leg, but because his balls somehow "get stuck". I really didn't need to know that. FML

#20159093
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15649) - you deserved it (1192)

On 11/11/2012 at 3:27pm - misc - by Miki13 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I texted everyone in my phone to remind them mother's day is tomorrow. Everyone including the boy whose mom died last year. FML

#1783104
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15648) - you deserved it (71366)

On 05/09/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML

#6394262
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15648) - you deserved it (3504)

On 11/21/2009 at 8:33pm - intimacy - by sleepwalker - United States (South Carolina)

Today, in a training class, I got to see a picture of what can happen when a man does not wear a safety harness correctly. For those of you who are unaware, male body parts are easily severed by loose straps. I cannot un-see that picture. It wasn't even a harness safety class. FML

#19635115
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15648) - you deserved it (1539)

On 05/16/2012 at 11:53pm - misc - by recmonty - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my friend and I wanted to get some alcohol (we're under 21). We went to a liquor store and asked a random guy to go in and buy us some vodka. After giving him $20, he said he had to go turn off his car, then he'd get us the drinks. He got in his car and drove off, with my $20. FML

#1248718
411 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15645) - you deserved it (216144)

On 04/23/2009 at 3:16am - misc - by danielle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML

#8837524
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15645) - you deserved it (8493)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:17am - animals - by Catois (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I discovered a bunch of emails from my old account that weren't forwarded to my new one. Because of this, I missed a job offer and all the emails from my long distance boyfriend asking if he could visit. I still don't have a job and I broke up with him because he "failed to communicate." FML

#4829137
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15636) - you deserved it (43000)

On 08/26/2009 at 2:18am - misc - by technologyfail (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it's been three days since my husband got into free-jazz. He plays all the time in our small apartment. Loud. It's like listening to three guys build a shed for 10 giant angry wasps. FML

#18387801
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15636) - you deserved it (2057)

On 11/29/2011 at 8:53pm - misc - by Geraldine - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, I missed my dentist appointment. I couldn't attend, because I was too busy puking my guts up due to a bad reaction to the pain medication I'm taking for my toothache. FML

#19357685
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15636) - you deserved it (1330)

On 03/27/2012 at 3:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had a dream that I was 25, unemployed, living with my parents, and still completely in love with someone who no longer feels the same way about me. Oh wait... it wasn't a dream. FML

#1809
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15633) - you deserved it (3827)

On 01/19/2009 at 11:23pm - misc - by HeadTrauma - United States (West Virginia)

Today, it's the first day of my two-week stay at my in-laws' house. They forbid drinking, smoking, cursing, and anything even remotely sexual. I smuggled in my quietest toy to keep me sane in this holy house. If only I hadn't forgotten to bring the battery pack too. FML

#20184036
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15632) - you deserved it (21423)

On 11/29/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by comeuntome (woman) - United States

Today, I had to get bloodwork done. I'm deathly afraid of needles. The whole lobby heard me scream as soon as the nurse said 'hello'. FML

#12082057
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15628) - you deserved it (23586)

On 07/24/2010 at 6:50am - health - by breathexali (woman) - United States (New York)



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