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Today, I was in a work meeting because our clientele is unhappy with our service. I was in there because I don't correct our customers when they get my name wrong. My name is Blane, but "Blair", "Blake", "Lane", and "Glenn" got rave reviews. No one picked up on this. I hate my job. FML

#5840446
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23865) - you deserved it (3684)

On 10/15/2009 at 8:33am - work - by Blanerd (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my friend asked why I always smell like a dead animal carcass. I have no idea. FML

#13185794
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23865) - you deserved it (7260)

On 09/24/2010 at 7:10pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt. FML

#18112620
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23864) - you deserved it (15481)

On 10/30/2011 at 4:15pm - misc - by yum yogurt - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML

#5449988
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23862) - you deserved it (2057)

On 09/24/2009 at 4:57pm - intimacy - by Madison43097 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up on the coldest morning of the year to discover that the gas fireplace has run out of propane, and there is no water because the pipes are frozen. While trying to locate the frozen pipe, I forgot to let the dog out, and she peed on the carpet. FML

#7124325
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23858) - you deserved it (4806)

On 01/03/2010 at 11:04am - animals - by BW (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I got fed up with the amount of hair on my feet, so I went to get my foot hair waxed off. When I removed my socks, the waxer laughed the amount of foot hair. I'm a 18 year old female and it appears I have feet that were last seen on Big Foot. FML

#6872030
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23858) - you deserved it (3552)

On 12/21/2009 at 8:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a toddler's play ball rolled over to me in the park. I playfully pitched it to him as his parents watched from afar. The ball hit him in the face. FML

#3469
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23855) - you deserved it (3414)

On 01/29/2009 at 6:08pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, I was taking people's orders at the drive-thru. I was confused as to why people were screaming their orders at me, until one of my managers handed me a paper that he'd found taped to the menu, saying "speak loudly speaker isn't working properly." Punkd. FML

#18649632
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23853) - you deserved it (2882)

On 12/30/2011 at 12:38am - work - by Ashton Sprunger - United States

Today, I went out to start my car to go to work. When it wouldn't start, I popped the hood to see what was wrong. Some kind individual took advantage of the fact that my window doesn't roll up, and stole my battery. FML

#5847643
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23853) - you deserved it (5935)

On 10/16/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by rugernut13 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, some guy asked me if he could borrow my lighter. I said "of course," reached into my handbag, and gave him the lighter. He stared at me for a few seconds until I realised I'd given him a tampax. FML

#20011526
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23851) - you deserved it (6126)

On 08/09/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by mary - United Kingdom

Today, the only thing my downstairs neighbor wanted to talk about with me is how she can hear us go to the bathroom. She also claims that she can tell which one of us is going, based on the noise level. FML

#17699997
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23851) - you deserved it (2136)

On 09/08/2011 at 10:07pm - misc - by monochrometea (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was woken up by a noise coming from the bathroom. Upon investigation, I discovered my very drunk, giggling girlfriend attempting to urinate standing up. Carefully note the word "attempting". FML

#19756840
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23851) - you deserved it (2075)

On 06/08/2012 at 7:54pm - love - by SprinklerDodger (man) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, while on a vacation, I tried to step out of myself and flirt with this boy who I thought was cute. He was going along with it and nodding so I thought it was working. Then he opened his mouth and I realized he didn't speak English. FML

#6441496
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23849) - you deserved it (6008)

On 11/25/2009 at 1:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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