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Today, my husband changed the voice on my car's GPS to Mr T's. I don't know how to change it back. I've been saying, "I pity the fool" over and over again ever since. FML

#18510240
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20770) - you deserved it (4956)

On 12/14/2011 at 9:06am - misc - by annoyed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad came home drunk at four in the morning. He walked into my room, screaming at me to wake up so he can kill zombies. FML

#19394272
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20767) - you deserved it (2112)

On 04/02/2012 at 9:37am - misc - by Deadman (man) - United States

Today, I was bored and all alone while cleaning at work. This led me to start passionately doing a ballet dance in the empty corridor. I promptly stopped as I remembered the surveillance cameras. FML

#17490024
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20765) - you deserved it (9899)

On 08/16/2011 at 12:55pm - work - by secret dancer (woman) - Sweden (Jonkopings Lan)

Today, I was feeling a little racy and decided to send my boyfriend some naked pictures of myself. He responded, "That's OK, but does your face have to be in them?" FML

#6415998
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20762) - you deserved it (4322)

On 11/23/2009 at 12:07am - intimacy - by denise (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I spilled my guts to my girlfriend, saying I'm scared that all I do is upset her. I then had to sit through a speech about how upset she was that I hadn't told her sooner. FML

#19699058
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20762) - you deserved it (4231)

On 05/29/2012 at 1:50pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Flevoland)

Today, I got threatened to get dragged out of the window at work because I wouldn't sell someone hot wings. I work at Taco Bell. FML

#20123506
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20763) - you deserved it (1550)

On 10/19/2012 at 2:43am - work - by Taco Hell - United States (Ohio)

Today, I've been forced to start packing to go on a vacation with my parents, because they say I've been studying too hard and need a break. I've hardly studied at all and was planning on making up for it all in the time I had left before finals. I'm screwed. FML

#21069416
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20763) - you deserved it (37189)

On 02/23/2014 at 2:00pm - misc - by goodbye cruel world (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML

#20140711
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20760) - you deserved it (1488)

On 10/30/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend looked me straight in the eye and said, "I know about the sea turtles." I asked her what she was talking about and she said, "Next time, shut up or I'll show you pain." I have no idea what she's talking about. FML

#20170012
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20757) - you deserved it (1944)

On 11/19/2012 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my friend's van ran out of gas on an expressway off-ramp. After pushing it to the shoulder, we walked to a gas station and got a can of gas. We got back to the van to find that the battery had died from leaving on the lights and hazards to avoid an accident. FML

#13218546
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20756) - you deserved it (6650)

On 09/27/2010 at 1:56am - misc - by stranded (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I just got done reading all the healthy benefits that come with sex. One of them is higher self-esteem. Then I remembered that I haven't had sex in 15 months. FML

#1555
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20751) - you deserved it (2755)

On 01/18/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by SSH - United States (Florida)

Today, the recycling bin caught fire. My little brother was "experimenting" with his magnifying glass, set an egg carton on fire and didn't realise you had to put it out before throwing it in the bin. FML

#18354691
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20750) - you deserved it (2059)

On 11/26/2011 at 6:38am - kids - by Annon - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was taking a shower at the gym when hearing a loud popping noise. Surprised and startled, I jumped and slipped, hitting my head against the shower wall that left a small gash. The pop noise was just someone blowing bubbles from their gum. FML

#18685052
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20747) - you deserved it (4985)

On 01/02/2012 at 10:38am - misc - by Anon O'Mous - United States (Pennsylvania)



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