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Today, I had finally gotten my dogs to quiet down and my baby to fall asleep. Not thirty seconds later, my neighbor's car alarm went off. They aren't home for the weekend, and the damn alarm has now been blaring for three hours. FML

#19686709
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23820) - you deserved it (1674)

On 05/27/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by shadow1248 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while at the gym, I noticed a foul smell while on elliptical machine. I figured it was the little old lady on the machine next to me. It was so bad I had to leave. When I got in my truck, I realized the smell had followed me. It was me. My cat had pissed on my workout clothes. FML

#13402192
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23819) - you deserved it (8099)

On 10/11/2010 at 2:00am - health - by cdubb27 - United States (California)

Today, I found out that all the everyday Spanish words and phrases my boyfriend has been teaching me have very vulgar meanings. I found this out after I said a few to our waitress. FML

#17705736
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23819) - you deserved it (6015)

On 09/09/2011 at 6:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex for almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML

#20494070
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23817) - you deserved it (35433)

On 02/05/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband threw up in the shower after drinking almost a whole bottle of wine. The shower won't drain now. Happy Thanksgiving. FML

Today, I got through to the phone interview stage for a great job. When the phone rang, I answered and suddenly, spontaneously, burped really loudly. The interviewer hung up. FML

#9396047
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23817) - you deserved it (9804)

On 03/26/2010 at 5:44am - work - by urrrppp (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, my supervisor forced me to bring the image of a failed simulation to the group meeting, because he thought it looked funny. So did the others and it's now going on our webpage. I have to provide a scientific description of how I made a mistake in my code. FML

#21393415
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23816) - you deserved it (2457)

On 04/14/2015 at 7:50am - work - by OptMouse (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I found out my dad stole money from me when he was arrested for buying Oxycodone from an undercover cop. FML

#17957151
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23814) - you deserved it (2119)

On 10/11/2011 at 12:52am - misc - by nodad - United States

Today, I sneezed with so much force while I was driving that I whacked my head on the steering wheel and honked the horn. FML

#7268268
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23812) - you deserved it (4062)

On 01/10/2010 at 10:37pm - misc - by Hayley (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up to a bloody nose. Instead of rushing to the bathroom, I creatively dripped the blood over a knife for photography class because the assignment was to show emotion. So many of the students and faculty were disturbed that I'm now forced to talk to the school psychologist. FML

#15000344
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23812) - you deserved it (36395)

On 02/16/2011 at 7:56am - misc - by rhartnett11 -

Today, I woke up to a punch in the balls. FML

#19860691
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23812) - you deserved it (3952)

On 06/28/2012 at 1:36pm - misc - by whoslade (man) - United States

Today, I learned that, when you ask your girlfriend "Do you think we're having sex too often?" she might interpret it as, "I don't think we should have sex ever again," and entirely stop talking to you. FML

#21398912
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23812) - you deserved it (10670)

On 04/24/2015 at 7:38am - intimacy - by Sexless from Texas - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that a water pipe at my work had burst over the weekend. There is absolutely no water in the building, including the bathrooms. It's a 9 hour day, and I took a laxative this morning before I came in. FML

#7276638
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23810) - you deserved it (9964)

On 01/11/2010 at 10:28am - work - by bs_happens (woman) - United States (Texas)



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