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Today, I was excited that my sister called me for the first time in months. She asked me to stop watching "Friends" so she could use the Netflix account. Now, I still have an absentee sister and no Friends. FML

#21346655
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24424) - you deserved it (2657)

On 01/30/2015 at 3:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by text at 1:30 am because he didn't want to give me "the dread of answering a phone call." When I asked him for an explanation, his reply was, "For what?" FML

#19039937
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24421) - you deserved it (2432)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:59am - love - by 1.30am (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my doctor informed me that the pea-sized bump under my arm is a "third breast". That is not what I meant every time I said I wanted more tits. FML

#20072637
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24422) - you deserved it (2443)

On 09/15/2012 at 7:07am - health - by Leashaness (woman) - United States

Today, my house got broken into for the third time. The nice police officer said that if I didn't want my house to keep being robbed I should "Fix the place up so it doesn't look like a crummy vacant building." FML

#15031237
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24421) - you deserved it (8055)

On 02/18/2011 at 8:06pm - misc - by rachel - United States (California)

Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me, and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML

#20195284
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24420) - you deserved it (2836)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, at my workplace, a TV was installed just above my register at work which plays the same mind-numbingly awful 13 second ad on loop for the duration of our latest sale. The sale lasts for what are going to be three very long weeks. FML

#17398491
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24419) - you deserved it (2366)

On 08/07/2011 at 4:37pm - work - by Kris - China

Today, while sitting next to the cute guy in my English class, I had to sneeze. I turned away from him and sneezed into my arm. My long hair got in the way and I accidentally shot a huge snot rocket into my hair. I spent the rest of the class trying to get it out without him noticing. FML

#14450678
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24419) - you deserved it (4620)

On 01/03/2011 at 12:17pm - misc - by klyoung5 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I turned on an old radio I haven't used for a long time and a pack of very small spiders came rushing out of the speakers when I turned up the volume. Guess they didn't like the groove. FML

Today, my nitwit son infected our family computer with some sort of mad bastard virus after getting fooled by the promise of some non-existent Hannah Montana nudes. FML

#20076697
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24416) - you deserved it (2852)

On 09/17/2012 at 7:25pm - kids - by StupidBerk (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I got into a car accident. I got into it because I noticed a flashy new sign on the highway that read "Being an attentive driver prevents car crashes". Thanks for the notice. FML

#6930680
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24415) - you deserved it (6053)

On 12/24/2009 at 11:08pm - health - by RoxMySox - United States (Texas)

Today, I found a parking ticket on my car. Out of five cars who were in violation of the same infraction, I was the only one who received a ticket. FML

#13538195
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24414) - you deserved it (8346)

On 10/21/2010 at 3:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my mom watched a Dr. Phil episode. She's now hysterical because she assumes me and my friends are involved in sex parties. All because a man on the TV said so. FML

#19671635
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24414) - you deserved it (1978)

On 05/24/2012 at 6:44am - intimacy - by silencio - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I realized the closest I've ever been to being hit on was with a car in the school parking lot. Even then, the guy claimed he "didn't notice" me. FML

#17983991
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24413) - you deserved it (2738)

On 10/14/2011 at 6:40pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)



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