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Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6479) - you deserved it (89566)
On 10/13/2009 at 2:54am - love - by PanFace (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I went to see my mother with my kids. Before, I had told my son to give her hugs and kisses and I would buy him candy. He did, but then he told her that I said that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6478) - you deserved it (19678)
On 08/23/2010 at 12:03am - kids - by laughxlove - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6477) - you deserved it (79325)
On 09/16/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by Mac - Sent from mobile version
Today, after an argument with a coworker, I sent him "Sorry about being such a jerk" in a reply to a mass email he had sent. I accidentally hit 'Reply All'. I now have 32 "It's okay" messages in my inbox. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6477) - you deserved it (18893)
On 12/20/2010 at 5:26pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was having sex and wanted to move to the wall, so I picked her up, got my foot stuck in my blanket, and dropped her on the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6476) - you deserved it (11886)
On 02/06/2010 at 7:17pm - intimacy - by Sully (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, the guy I like recommended I buy this computer game. Wanting to impress him, I agreed. Turns out it was a joke. I am now the proud owner of Microsoft Train Simulator 2005, and he can't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6476) - you deserved it (22644)
On 09/26/2010 at 4:14am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my girlfriend was getting up to leave and I, trying to be romantic, got up behind her and tried to swing her back down onto the bed and kiss her simultaneously, misjudged the distance and threw her into the wall, her head then bounced off the wall and into my forehead, spraining her nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6475) - you deserved it (17302)
On 09/21/2009 at 3:08pm - intimacy - by dontpanic (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my best friend was doing my hair. She got frustrated and exclaimed, "It won't stay!" I replied with, "Just like your mom!" It was then that I remembered her mom had just left her dad and moved out of the house to be with someone else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6475) - you deserved it (45115)
On 10/17/2010 at 1:17pm - misc - by Nobody - United States (Texas)
Today, I figured I needed to clean my room. I ended up finding my $135 calculator that I'd accused my ex-boyfriend of selling for gas money. That's also the reason I dumped him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6475) - you deserved it (50567)
On 03/11/2013 at 2:56pm - money - by supertango500 (woman) - United States
Today, I decided to clean my room, find a job and ask a girl on a date. I ended up playing video games online. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6465) - you deserved it (28300)
On 01/16/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was home alone. It was very dark and so I went to turn on the lights, when I heard the sound of a gun loading. I dropped to the floor but never heard a gun fire. I got up and heard the sound again. When I got lights on, I discovered it was only my printer telling me it was out of paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6465) - you deserved it (14953)
On 03/07/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by OhaiiKid (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my crush finally let me drive his truck for the first time in a empty parking lot, after he told me he liked me. It was so dark that I ended up driving into and pole and totaled his car. Now he hates me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6463) - you deserved it (27372)
On 10/25/2009 at 11:39am - misc - by madd_dizzle (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, at the bank, I went to get some coffee from their machine. I gave it my money and pressed the buttons but nothing was happening. After banging on the machine for ten minutes and calling a teller over, a little boy reached up on his tippy toes to press the giant green START button for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6457) - you deserved it (42869)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:37pm - misc - by Tygastyle (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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