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Today, I went to a big family dinner. I didn't realize I hadn't been invited until we were about to sit down to eat. There were 12 chairs, 12 plates, 12 forks, and 12 glasses. I was the 13th person to arrive. FML

#20141489
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24709) - you deserved it (2388)

On 10/31/2012 at 10:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while putting a drip in the back of an elderly patient's hand, he commented that he didn't realise doctors had pierced nipples, but not to worry because he's only in the hospital "for the b*tches". FML

#14397838
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24708) - you deserved it (5346)

On 12/30/2010 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was brushing my teeth. When it came time for me to spit, I absentmindedly opened the bathroom drawer and spat in there instead of in the sink. FML

#21328982
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24708) - you deserved it (11268)

On 01/01/2015 at 10:38pm - misc - by 30000 - United States (California)

Today, I slipped at work while putting out a "wet floor" sign to make sure the customers didn't slip. FML

#14270969
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24707) - you deserved it (6136)

On 12/20/2010 at 9:51am - work - by embarrassed - United States

Today, I was overdrawn $15 at the bank. I paid in my last $80 in cash, only for them to inform me that I've been slapped with $90 in overdraft fees. FML

#15090676
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24707) - you deserved it (5876)

On 02/23/2011 at 1:53pm - money - by witt75 - United States

Today, my mother woke me up at 4:30 A.M. to tell me our dog was running down the street. I ran for an hour, chasing after her. Turns out it was our new neighbor's dog. Ours was in our basement. FML

#7396048
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24706) - you deserved it (3614)

On 01/17/2010 at 10:18am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was in a restaurant with my fiancée for dinner. I commented that she had some food around her mouth. She responded with a lecture, then by throwing her hot bowl of noodles at me, before stomping out the restaurant. FML

#17634135
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24705) - you deserved it (3884)

On 09/01/2011 at 6:14am - misc - by Anonymous - China (Shanghai)

Today, I was walking down the hallway when someone opened a door, smashing it into me. The bump makes it look like I have a third boob. FML

#9158160
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24703) - you deserved it (3722)

On 03/17/2010 at 12:16pm - health - by Ouch (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my cat knocked over a cup of scalding hot tea - but don't worry, the carpet wasn't damaged. It went all over my leg instead leaving a nice big scar for my holiday. FML

#11054776
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24700) - you deserved it (3948)

On 06/08/2010 at 10:24am - health - by Rach (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML

#20141343
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24698) - you deserved it (3182)

On 10/31/2012 at 6:06am - misc - by hakuna matata - United States (California)

Today, after coming home from surgery, I discovered that the heating in my entire building had failed. I called my mom asking if I could come and stay with her for a few days. She told me to "think warm thoughts." FML

#20192758
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24698) - you deserved it (1619)

On 12/05/2012 at 6:27pm - money - by lonelyandcold (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, I drank a beer that I thought was mine, it wasn't and someone had put out their cigarette in it. FML

#757
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24695) - you deserved it (10833)

On 11/15/2008 at 10:36pm - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML

#20054806
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24696) - you deserved it (2157)

On 09/02/2012 at 10:07pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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