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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I could actually feel my toe hairs flapping in the breeze. I'm a girl. FML

#17926318
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23123) - you deserved it (15644)

On 10/07/2011 at 6:35am - misc - by Hairytoes - United States

Today, I was at the movies with my boyfriend when I really had to pee. I tried to get out of the aisle in a hurry so I wouldn't disturb anyone when I tripped, landing on the people in the row in front of me. FML

#11811158
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23116) - you deserved it (4998)

On 07/11/2010 at 2:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my house got broken into for the third time. The nice police officer said that if I didn't want my house to keep being robbed I should "Fix the place up so it doesn't look like a crummy vacant building." FML

#15031237
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23116) - you deserved it (7835)

On 02/18/2011 at 8:06pm - misc - by rachel - United States (California)

Today, I was introducing my American cousin to the peaceful English village I live in. Just as I was reassuring her that the people were very friendly and welcoming, a car drove past and pelted us with eggs. FML

#17811386
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23116) - you deserved it (2763)

On 09/23/2011 at 4:31am - misc - by egghead - United Kingdom

Today, I caught a coworker at my new job staring at my chest. Trying not to rock the boat, I took him aside and asked him to stop. He insisted he was just trying to read my shirt. Our company uniforms don't have writing on them. FML

#19728226
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23117) - you deserved it (2678)

On 06/03/2012 at 6:41pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I sat on the toilet and fell off as the broken toilet seat slid off. As I fell, I grabbed the light cord in an effort to stop myself, and pulled it out of the ceiling. Now I can't use the toilet, and have to shower in the dark. FML

#18208343
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23114) - you deserved it (5450)

On 11/10/2011 at 6:16am - misc - by Sack - United Kingdom

Today, as I was hung over from a concert and refusing to get out of bed, my dad decided to hook up his top notch speaker system and play Christmas music that shook the house. It's July. Let the family weekend begin. FML

#17228318
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23112) - you deserved it (14117)

On 07/23/2011 at 10:18am - kids - by lauramarie (woman) - Canada

Today, I bought a $450 elliptical machine to get in shape of the new year. After 5 hours of putting it together, I realized that all the ceilings in every room of my apartment are too low for me to use it without hitting my head. I can't return it. FML

#18695783
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23108) - you deserved it (9038)

On 01/03/2012 at 9:57am - health - by fatandsad (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to have a long and awkward meeting with my boss. It wouldn't have been too awkward though, if I didn't have to avoid staring at her exposed breast whilst she fed her 8 week old baby. FML

Today, I saw a father and son playing football in a car park when I was on my way to work. The ball rolled towards me so feeling nice I kicked it back to them. Turns out it went straight through their car window. FML

#18044190
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23107) - you deserved it (6035)

On 10/22/2011 at 4:34am - misc - by tom0441 - Reserved

Today, I had to sit in a three-seat truck between my dad and his best friend on a 4-hour trip to Detroit. It was great, besides their incessant crude jokes and stories, including chafing ball sacks, and naming their new radio station, "Chicks With Dicks Radio." FML

#21380298
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23125) - you deserved it (2273)

On 03/23/2015 at 7:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to tell my wife that the new "vegan" diet she has put us on is not working with my body. It's not the horrible gas, hot shits, or constant hunger that made me realize this. It was the dream I had about fried chicken that did. FML

#19134075
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23105) - you deserved it (2822)

On 02/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by kohler9790 - United States

Today, after calling the insurance plan for my new iPhone a "huge waste of money", I promptly dropped it in the store while trying to put it into my pocket, cracking the screen. FML

#20693016
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23104) - you deserved it (48487)

On 05/29/2013 at 12:24pm - money - by sammarli530 - United States (Illinois)



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