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Today, I turned 21. It's also the day I learned how it feels to have my foot and leg set on fire by a drunken idiot who thought it was a great idea to splash lighter fluid into an open-pit bonfire. FML

#18401102
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25156) - you deserved it (2505)

On 12/01/2011 at 2:00am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, it's my twenty first birthday. My biggest birthday surprise was discovering that I'm alcohol intolerant, by vomiting my first beer all over my boyfriend's mother. FML

#19359815
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25155) - you deserved it (4345)

On 03/27/2012 at 9:08pm - health - by Anna - United States

Today, while at work I went to use the public restroom because I had a severe case of diarrhea. All went well until the timed sensor lights went off and I couldn't leave my stall to get them back on. I sat there for thirty minutes in pure darkness. FML

#7105226
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25152) - you deserved it (3662)

On 01/02/2010 at 2:24pm - work - by Bathroom Problems - France

Today, while trying on a dress, my sister came up behind me and poked my back, asking, “What have you stuck down your dress?” I hadn’t put anything down the back of my dress; it was just my back fat. FML

#5953785
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25151) - you deserved it (9617)

On 10/23/2009 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to take a taxi to work, because I was pressed for time, and didn't have a ride there. When I got to work, I paid the cab driver, and realized I had spent more money on the cab than I was going to make at work. FML

#6839284
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25153) - you deserved it (4144)

On 12/20/2009 at 12:13am - money - by Fml37 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was taking my dogs for a walk, then it started to rain, and the wind went mad. I ran for cover in the trees near a bridge, slipped and fell into a river. I was soaking wet and my boots were full of water. Then to get back out of the river, I had to use stinging nettles as hand holds. FML

#7767397
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25151) - you deserved it (3296)

On 02/01/2010 at 12:27am - animals - by Jammy238 - Sent from mobile version

Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend reached over and pinched my love handles and said "Where did this muffin top come from?". Then he sang "Do you know the muffin man?" to me. FML

#8083041
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25150) - you deserved it (7469)

On 02/10/2010 at 7:30am - misc - by muffingirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, the student council gave us our senior class t-shirts. Our theme this year is "Striving for Excellence." Excellence was misspelled. FML

#17975485
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25150) - you deserved it (2786)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:27pm - misc - by brit (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband and I were going to have sex for the first time since having our baby, who was taking a nap. As soon as we lay down in bed, his mother rang saying she was five minutes away. FML

#8663414
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25149) - you deserved it (2331)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by Ineedit (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out who my randomly assigned roommate was. Out of 10,000+ people, I just happen to get assigned a girl who threatened to kill me. FML

#19599121
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25149) - you deserved it (1752)

On 05/09/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by roomingwithevil - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to shovel the massive amount of snow that was on our car. After spending time in the cold wind, I finally finished, realizing it wasn't my car. It was an identical car. FML

#14815475
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25148) - you deserved it (5939)

On 02/02/2011 at 6:57pm - misc - by hehe -

Today, at work, a customer threatened to punch me in the face because the store I work at doesn't have shopping baskets, only carts. FML

#18958245
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25148) - you deserved it (2213)

On 01/31/2012 at 1:12am - work - by chubbyreddevil - United States

Today, I took my first day off in 3 weeks just so I can sleep in. The office secretary woke me up at 7.12 am with a page wishing me a nice day off. FML

#6823511
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25146) - you deserved it (3496)

On 12/19/2009 at 2:39am - work - by Hareega (man) - United States (South Dakota)



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