Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after applying at over 30 businesses over the past 6 months, I have had not one single call. I later find out that I was using my old phone number on the applications, and my secondary phone was my mom's. She thought they were telemarketers. FML

#20922298
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24738) - you deserved it (41203)

On 10/16/2013 at 12:40am - work - by LFE - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a homeless man asking for money for food. Not wanting to give him money so he'd spend it on booze, I decided to buy him a full big mac meal from McDonalds. When I went to hand it to him, he quickly waved his hand, denying it saying, "Thanks but I'm a vegetarian". FML

#2596
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24737) - you deserved it (4947)

On 01/25/2009 at 10:44pm - misc - by Michelle C - United States (California)

Today, my sister asked me if any of my family members had commented on my recent weight gain. I told her no not really. Her reply? "They must just being saying it behind your back then." FML

#7729865
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24737) - you deserved it (3510)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:38am - health - by lilsis (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, as I was training a new guy at work, my husband spent half the day creeping outside in his truck. FML

#17868574
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24737) - you deserved it (3270)

On 09/30/2011 at 1:01am - love - by Cristie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the girl I'm dating mentioned that she'd had her healthy wisdom teeth removed to prevent her future children from having wisdom teeth. I laughed. She wasn't joking. FML

Today, I am spending new year absolutely alone. My girlfriend canceled our plans the day before so she could spend it with alcohol and strangers. Somehow, I still love her. FML

#762
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24736) - you deserved it (10078)

On 12/30/2008 at 8:36pm - love - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, my friends and I were celebrating Spring Break by going out to a club. I saw a very, very cute girl sipping a drink at the bar all by herself. Trying to be a stud I walked over and said "What are you doing Friday night?" Her response: "Not you." FML

#1244870
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24736) - you deserved it (75442)

On 04/23/2009 at 12:20am - intimacy - by rejected (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I attended my college roommate's wedding. We were best friends for 4 years, but have only talked occasionally since graduation. I was looking forward to meeting her new husband, having heard so much about him during our conversations. Turns out she forgot to mention he's my ex. FML

#20043916
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24736) - you deserved it (1970)

On 08/27/2012 at 2:11am - love - by Betrayed (woman) - United States

Today, I'm heading towards my car clutching a bunch of flowers for my girlfriend, when along comes a sweet old lady who says: "it's not flowers she wants, it's some lovin'!". The elderly sure aren't what they used to be. FML

#449
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24735) - you deserved it (3336)

On 12/04/2008 at 6:16am - misc - by DarkPhoenix - Sent from mobile version

Today, trying to pocket a little extra cash for himself, my dad responded to multiple babysitting ads on Craigslist, accepting them all on my behalf. I despise children with all my heart. FML

#18985606
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24735) - you deserved it (8071)

On 02/03/2012 at 5:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom on the way to class. After washing my hands, I couldn't figure out how to turn off the water. I finally resorted to asking a professor for help. She turned it off, looked me in the eyes and said, "Please don't tell me you're here on a scholarship." FML

#20948176
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24734) - you deserved it (32429)

On 11/06/2013 at 7:16pm - misc - by nevergoingtopeeagain - United States (Texas)

Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of 3 years a few months ago, my boys convinced me to go out with the cute girl I had been talking to on Tinder. However, she wasn't cute, or a girl. He robbed me. FML

#21439092
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24734) - you deserved it (4664)

On 07/09/2015 at 3:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I started work at my new job. I was excited to have been given an office of my own, but shortly after sitting down at my desk, the door across the hall opened and an unspeakably murderous stench that could've curdled milk seeped in. My office is opposite the men's room. Great. FML

#17380999
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24733) - you deserved it (2452)

On 08/05/2011 at 8:18pm - work - by joshua - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: