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Today, I'm driving cross-country with my parents. As if the stifling heat isn't bad enough, they keep stopping to admire, comment on, and practically do a photoshoot in every corn field we pass. FML

#19797728
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20241) - you deserved it (2095)

On 06/16/2012 at 4:36pm - misc - by gabby - United States

Today, I went bowling with my friends. As I was about to take my turn, my friend came up behind me and yelled in my ear, "Don't mess up!" Startled, I dropped the ball on my foot. FML

#8448273
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20240) - you deserved it (3313)

On 02/19/2010 at 5:00pm - health - by lexiiiiiiweee - United States

Today, I went to dinner with my girlfriend of 2 months. This would have been great, had I not been nodding absentmindedly when she suggested that we start planning our wedding soon, because "she's always dreamt of being married on the same day as Brad and Angelina." FML

#20440111
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20239) - you deserved it (21459)

On 01/03/2013 at 1:47am - love - by Brad (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got into a fight with my girlfriend. After yelling and arguing my point, my cat got up and jumped up next to her on the bed. He sat down, and they both glared at me until I left. FML

#20189474
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20237) - you deserved it (3665)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out from my mom that the sweet smelling shampoo she bought recently belongs to Tammi. I've been using it for a week now. The chocolate drops I ate yesterday are also hers. Tammi is our pet Chihuahua. FML

#6648312
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20236) - you deserved it (8127)

On 12/07/2009 at 9:44am - misc - by cookiecrust (woman) - Singapore

Today, I visited my friend in a nasty part of town. When I saw the shattered window of the car next to me, and the missing stereo, I moved my car to a safer location. Luckily, though, I have a common car, so the thieves were able to jimmy the lock and steal my stereo without making any noise. FML

#8712450
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20235) - you deserved it (2676)

On 02/28/2010 at 5:51am - money - by unsurprised (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got up the courage to go to my very first voice lesson. I thought I did alright, but at the end my teacher told me, "Now don't worry about grades in this class, I grade on effort, not on talent." FML

#11698
9 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20235) - you deserved it (2565)

On 02/06/2009 at 2:25pm - misc - by Lizz (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I gave a technical presentation to a group of male colleagues. I was surprised by how attentive they were until I went to the washroom and realized that they could see every detail of my nipples through my new shirt. FML

#8673018
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20232) - you deserved it (14060)

On 02/26/2010 at 8:52pm - work - by bun593 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I met my cousin after two years. She got really tall and skinny, like a model. I joked saying, "You've grown and gotten slim, and I've stayed the same and have gotten fat." I expected some sort of disagreement. Instead, she looked me up and down, frowned, and gave me a long, sympathetic hug. FML

#2736188
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20230) - you deserved it (44861)

On 06/09/2009 at 4:39am - health - by fatty (woman) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, an attractive guy told me he wanted to get to know me and see me again. When I told my boyfriend, in hopes of stirring up some jealousy, he said "he'll regret it when he finds out what you're like in bed, trust me." FML

#14282148
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20230) - you deserved it (37838)

On 12/21/2010 at 4:38am - intimacy - by fail (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while I was putting up Christmas lights, my younger brother wouldn't stop pestering me. It seems he hadn't forgotten the time I gave myself an electric shock last year, and he wanted to see if I'd do it again. FML

#18419129
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20230) - you deserved it (3100)

On 12/03/2011 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

#16200408
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20229) - you deserved it (60831)

On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -

Today, trying to take initiative, I wore nothing but an apron and led my husband to the kitchen by his knob to have some fun. I tripped on the floor and used his knob to keep balance. FML

#8797344
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20228) - you deserved it (6810)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:22am - intimacy - by Sorry (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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