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Today, I was straightening my hair for my Christmas Eve party. I put the hot straighter down on my bed for a second, and zoned out enough to sit squarely on it a few moments later. I now have burns on my ass cheek, and a six-hour party at which I can't even sit down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6517) - you deserved it (20259)
On 12/24/2010 at 11:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my friends took me to a strip club for my 25th birthday. I went onstage with 5 dollars in my mouth to tip the dancer. She then took off my belt and pants and spanked me 25 times with the buckle end of the belt. I paid a stripper 5 dollars to whoop my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6516) - you deserved it (27865)
On 10/06/2010 at 7:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, since I had no lessons until 1pm, I decided to head out to the store to run errands. Our school has a strict policy against leaving the campus during school hours. I returned to a fire drill taking place. The fire assembly point? The student parking lot. All 900 students watched me drive in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6513) - you deserved it (21530)
On 12/16/2009 at 4:37am - misc - by watchmaker (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I went to boxing and this hot chick asked me if I was wearing a sports cup. I replied yes, when I wasn't. I thought she was going to check with her hand and feel. She checked with her knee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6512) - you deserved it (47718)
On 06/25/2010 at 1:09am - health - by Gbeat411 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was messing around in computer class, when somebody called my name from the hall. Trying to be smooth, I tried rolling my chair backwards out into the hall. The wheels wasted no time jamming and sending me crashing face-first into the floor in front of everyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6511) - you deserved it (14779)
On 05/22/2012 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Puerto Rico
Today, I found a website that lets you write an email to yourself from "the past". I used my boss's address, and wrote a long email about how much I hate him, signed from me. It worked, and he'll receive it in 6 months, after I move away. He's already received the confirmation email, though. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6509) - you deserved it (39454)
On 07/15/2009 at 4:17pm - work - by Alex - United States (Virginia)
Today, my family and I were parking downtown when my sister yelled to watch out for a man approaching our car. I see him pull something from his pocket. I yell "It's a knife, don't roll down the window!" It was a pen, he was the parking attendant and the window was already rolled down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6508) - you deserved it (37640)
On 06/10/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by parkinglotslayer (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop and I noticed that there was a bug on the guys face in front of me. Trying to be nice I lightly smacked it off. His reaction was to punch me in the face. Repeatedly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6508) - you deserved it (28933)
On 12/19/2009 at 11:07am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (California)
Today, I realized the only reason I watched the SuperBowl is because Justin Bieber tweeted about it. I don't even like football. I had no idea what was going on the whole game. All I knew was who I was cheering for, because Justin Bieber tweeted who he was cheering for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6507) - you deserved it (54871)
On 02/08/2010 at 3:00am - love - by loveeyou. - Sent from mobile version
Today, a wasp flew into my room. While I, a 6'2" hockey player, cowered in the corner, my 4'11" girlfriend killed it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6507) - you deserved it (26881)
On 03/02/2010 at 10:53am - animals - by Jeff - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend and I made love for the first time. Before we left his house so he could walk me home, I fixed my hair by the hall mirror and joked about having serious sex hair. My boyfriend quickly reminded me that his incredibly religious mother was in the next room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6507) - you deserved it (19521)
On 10/08/2012 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by blabbermouth (woman) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)
Today, as a finisher to a date with my girlfriend we decided to park behind the school and mess around. As we were pulling into a dark shaded spot, she drove straight into a snow bank. We spent the rest of our time together trying to dig the car out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6504) - you deserved it (16542)
On 01/02/2011 at 4:36am - misc - by peacechick25 - United States (Alaska)
Today, I messaged my sister on Facebook chat. We always start our conversations with "HEY SLUT" or "HEY WHORE" etc. It wasn't my sister. However, her boyfriend's mom has a great first impression of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6496) - you deserved it (18137)
On 02/13/2010 at 9:53am - misc - by Anon (woman) - United States (New York)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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