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Today, I went on a long flight. I was fortunate enough to sit next to a great girl. However, she must have thought I was not so great, because she moved to the empty seat across the aisle. Next to my dad. Who then told stories about how I always get motion sickness on airplanes. I then threw up. FML

#19828515
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21658) - you deserved it (3148)

On 06/22/2012 at 10:11am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he watched True Life I'm Pregnant. Now I know why we haven't been having sex. FML

#3148
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21657) - you deserved it (2668)

On 01/28/2009 at 4:58pm - intimacy - by hgirl - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that the man who offered to put up the woman I love in exchange for me helping out with his rent, has in fact been her "other" boyfriend since before she moved in. FML

#17706301
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21656) - you deserved it (3833)

On 09/09/2011 at 7:48pm - love - by Just me (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to work 300 miles away from where I live. I couldn't find my customer's address, so I decided to call him. I'd picked up my wireless house phone instead of my mobile. FML

#339
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21648) - you deserved it (8195)

On 11/19/2008 at 3:00am - work - by comphone - Sent from mobile version

Today, I told my girlfriend I have only one testicle. Her reaction? "Eeew, balls are gross!" I'm glad to know I'm only half as gross as other guys. FML

#5463165
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21649) - you deserved it (2953)

On 09/25/2009 at 7:13am - intimacy - by lone_ranger (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in the Cafeteria at a table near the guy I like. He was playing around with a ball with a couple of his friends. They dropped it, and it rolled over next to my foot. When I bent down to pick it up, I smashed my head against a chair. FML

#14643975
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21648) - you deserved it (4416)

On 01/19/2011 at 9:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I came back from a holiday and the friend who'd been looking after my cats returned my spare key. When I wanted to put some relaxing music on, I noticed that he'd switched most of my CDs around in their cases. I have over a thousand of them. Very funny, thanks. FML

#19148327
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21644) - you deserved it (4074)

On 02/23/2012 at 6:52pm - misc - by Veryfunny (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found the best cure for constipation is having my brother scare the literal shit out of me, in Walmart. FML

#19532255
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21644) - you deserved it (2124)

On 04/26/2012 at 1:29pm - health - by crazyk2468 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I managed to get locked inside a caravan toilet. My relatives heard me having a panic attack and instead of unlocking the door, they called the neighbours over to enjoy my anguish and embarrassment. FML

#17627414
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21643) - you deserved it (2557)

On 08/31/2011 at 2:34am - misc - by RhuLynette - United Kingdom

Today, after being annoyed one too many times by my students' whiney attitudes, I accidentally blurted out, "Quit being such a bitch," to the superintendent's daughter. FML

#16017887
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21641) - you deserved it (41300)

On 05/02/2011 at 10:30am - work - by MathTeacher (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML

#20122062
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21640) - you deserved it (2011)

On 10/18/2012 at 2:33am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for dinner. The first words out of my dad's mouth were apparently, "Ah, you must be Dan's slam-piece." I was in the living room and didn't quite catch it all, but I said, "She certainly is!" Now I'm single, and all my friends think I'm a bastard. FML

#19824273
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21639) - you deserved it (9866)

On 06/21/2012 at 2:19pm - love - by igiveup (man) - United States



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