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Today, I went to the mall with some friends. We all kept smelling this god awful B.O. smell and had no idea where it was coming from. On the car ride home, we all figured out it was actually me. FML

#21347237
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27031) - you deserved it (11406)

On 01/31/2015 at 10:13am - kids - by cooploops - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was studying for a big test I have next Tuesday in my room. I heard a creak in my ceiling but assumed it was nothing as my house is old. Thirty seconds later something fell from my air vent directly onto my head. It was a giant cockroach. FML

#21424815
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27031) - you deserved it (2024)

On 06/12/2015 at 1:35am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I finally noticed after months of having the same cover photo on several websites, that it looks like I have a bushel of armpit hair due to a shadow. FML

#21331000
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27027) - you deserved it (4688)

On 01/04/2015 at 11:30pm - misc - by pits (woman) -

Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML

#5885863
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27025) - you deserved it (6693)

On 10/18/2009 at 9:11pm - animals - by Mary - Sent from mobile version

Today, my best friend got a new boyfriend. She asked him what he wanted for his upcoming birthday, and he said he just wanted to hang out with her and watch a movie or two. I thought it was sweet, so I asked my boyfriend what he would like for his upcoming birthday. He said a blow job. FML

#1955875
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27024) - you deserved it (46021)

On 05/15/2009 at 1:44am - intimacy - by badboyfriends (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave I decided to give him one last thrill. So I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out, when I asked why, he points behind me, my mom watched the whole thing. FML

#3143292
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27024) - you deserved it (71729)

On 06/23/2009 at 11:14am - intimacy - by wastedlove (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my family came to see me in my first acting role in Romeo and Juliet. It all went reasonably well for the first half hour or so, after which my seemingly shitfaced aunt started heckling and saying "that's what she said" after every line, before eventually being thrown out by security. FML

#17760005
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27023) - you deserved it (2299)

On 09/16/2011 at 8:25pm - work - by Mandy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, when I was ordering pizza, I got a text from my mom saying "I love you". When the man thanked me I accidentally said, "I love you too." FML

#19719938
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27022) - you deserved it (5205)

On 06/02/2012 at 8:47am - misc - by lol112 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to repeatedly explain to an increasingly angry lady that no, she couldn't get an ultrasound by using a referral letter from her psychic. FML

#21338280
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27022) - you deserved it (2989)

On 01/16/2015 at 1:05pm - work - by 360whoroscoped (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML

#20074793
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27021) - you deserved it (2612)

On 09/16/2012 at 3:48pm - health - by Derp McShitstain (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)

Today, I waited until the last minute to do my Christmas shopping. Today, I also discovered that my bank account has been frozen due to suspicious activity. FML

#6887241
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27020) - you deserved it (8513)

On 12/22/2009 at 4:54pm - money - by DumbLackofLuck (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my roommate woke me up during afternoon nap to tell me that I need to move out. His reason: "Our political differences will likely escalate to violence." FML

#12842541
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27020) - you deserved it (3147)

On 08/31/2010 at 7:13pm - misc - by NowHomeless (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I won employee of the month. I was then fired for being late. FML

#14029535
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27016) - you deserved it (6662)

On 11/29/2010 at 10:08pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)



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