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Today, my 3 year old woke up at 2 am and refused to go back to sleep unless she could sleep with her father and me. Normally we would have said no, but both of us being so tired, we said yes. She slowly kicked me out of my side of the bed and now I have to sleep on the couch. FML

Today, one of my work colleagues was staring at my severe sunburn. She wanted to know if she could "peel" me, when my sunburn becomes "ripe", because she loves the sound. She won't take no for an answer, and I work with her everyday this week. FML

#20194217
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21702) - you deserved it (1637)

On 12/06/2012 at 7:19pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was reciting lines for a play that I'm in. It was going great, until I realized that I was actually reciting my scripted sales pitch from my telemarketing job. FML

#20533106
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21702) - you deserved it (7126)

On 03/06/2013 at 12:44am - misc - by sales ham (man) - United States

Today, I convinced myself I needed to get over my ex-girlfriend. I spent twenty minutes signing up for a new dating site, only to find out, that the only other profile on the site of a person within 200 km, is my ex-girlfriend. FML

#1665
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21700) - you deserved it (1881)

On 01/18/2009 at 8:07pm - love - by GopherJR - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I was conducting interviews and I could tell this particular candidate was really nervous, so I was extra nice. At the end, he was reluctant to shake my hand. On the way out I realised why: I had lost the top button on my low cut top, and he was nursing his appreciation of the view. FML

#13153381
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21697) - you deserved it (7596)

On 09/22/2010 at 4:49am - work - by pizzacat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my band got booed off stage. FML

#12470997
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21697) - you deserved it (43531)

On 08/12/2010 at 2:53am - work - by malos - United States

Today, I got a super short pixie cut. All my boyfriend could do was stare at me, speechless. I thought he was taken aback by how cute it was until he told me that I look exactly like my fifteen year old brother. FML

#15266054
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21696) - you deserved it (19492)

On 03/10/2011 at 7:51pm - misc - by shia -

Today, I had to stop my 26 year old fiancé from picking his nose and eating it like a little boy. Three times. FML

#19110438
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21696) - you deserved it (4376)

On 02/18/2012 at 9:08pm - misc - by mandy_2480 - China

Today, my mother followed me to work to see what I got up to. I'm a fitness instructor in a ground floor gym that has big windows overlooking the street. She stood outside and waved at me for half an hour, while I tried to concentrate on teaching a visibly amused class. FML

#17836220
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21692) - you deserved it (1958)

On 09/26/2011 at 12:28am - work - by Username - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dad insisted on having a family movie night. He chose the movies Jaws and Mayday. I'm going on a diving expedition tomorrow. FML

#19271191
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21692) - you deserved it (2516)

On 03/13/2012 at 1:59pm - misc - by Samantha - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I told my mom I was going out to hang out with some friends. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "Don't lie to me." FML

#19687214
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21692) - you deserved it (2285)

On 05/27/2012 at 4:00am - misc - by cloudberry - United States (New York)

Today, my pregnant wife broke down in tears over the fact that since moving to Brazil for my job, we don't have regular access to macaroni and cheese. FML

#20032360
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21690) - you deserved it (5556)

On 08/20/2012 at 6:06pm - health - by stupidbullcrêpe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I took my driving test. Completing the test, we returned and parked at the testing facility. As my tester was complimenting me, I leaned down to wind my window up, catching my long hair in the window. Frantically thrashing, I put the car in drive and floored it into a concrete wall. FML

#969967
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21688) - you deserved it (55224)

On 04/14/2009 at 1:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)



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