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Today, I committed to babysitting on Valentine's Day not because I needed the money, but because I just got dumped. FML

#11684
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25314) - you deserved it (2548)

On 02/06/2009 at 2:16pm - misc - by alone (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at work, a customer left their cell phone behind. I tried to see if there were any pictures so that I could identify them. No, I still don't know what they look like, but I have seen their penis. FML

#14129124
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25312) - you deserved it (16969)

On 12/08/2010 at 6:47am - intimacy - by khaelian -

Today, my husband decided that the best way to deal with me eating the last chocolate chip muffin was to give me the silent treatment. Normally, I'd just get over his childish behavior, but we're on a fifteen hour car trip back home with our one year old. FML

#17148653
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25311) - you deserved it (5382)

On 07/17/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by twelfinity - United States (California)

Today, I set up a miniature nativity scene in my apartment. Three hours ago, my dog decided it would be a good idea to eat baby Jesus. Two hours ago, the vet laughed and said not to worry because I would 'have him back in time for Christmas'. FML

#6791199
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25310) - you deserved it (5297)

On 12/17/2009 at 9:32am - animals - by gettingacat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I slipped on my icy front porch, fell back and hit my head on the step. I tried to get up, but lost my balance and fell halfway into the bush next to the steps. I then looked up to see my very hot, British, Ex-Special Forces next door neighbor laughing so hard he dropped his snow shovel. FML

#7757731
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25310) - you deserved it (3089)

On 01/31/2010 at 9:12pm - misc - by youlyingjerk (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my best friend told me she wanted to rape my throat. I did not know that was possible. FML

#14570
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25308) - you deserved it (4875)

On 02/08/2009 at 3:04am - misc - by N (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, we had some family over. A nasty need to wank seized me when I saw her: my 17-year-old cousin. I went to my parents' unoccupied bedroom. My sister's baby walkie-talkie was switched on, and the whole family heard me. FML

#37
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25307) - you deserved it (113775)

On 10/25/2008 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by VIVI -

Today, I allowed my friend to talk me into going on a date. The guy's truck smelled like formaldehyde - I'm assuming from the snake that he apparently tried to turn into a necklace. FML

#6985807
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25306) - you deserved it (2927)

On 12/28/2009 at 1:26am - love - by KittyNeko (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to start jogging and exercising, so I had a wonderful workout before work. Then I broke my foot at work. Goodbye exercising. FML

#21327143
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25304) - you deserved it (2108)

On 12/30/2014 at 12:24pm - health - by mikki bee - United States (Nevada)

Today, I told the man I love to "go first" when we started talking at the same time. I wanted to confess my feelings, he wanted to tell me about his engagement. FML

#1517
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25302) - you deserved it (2193)

On 01/17/2009 at 9:55pm - love - by biblio - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend tried to serenade me with The Sex is Good by Saving Abel. According to him, "I have to fake it, I'd leave if I could. I'm not in love, but the sex is good." FML

#14521815
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25303) - you deserved it (3696)

On 01/09/2011 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML

#19754526
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25301) - you deserved it (2437)

On 06/08/2012 at 10:00am - misc - by me - United States (New York)

Today, my husband used our last $2000 to buy himself a motorcycle. It's supposed to "save us a lot on gas money." FML

#17694243
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25300) - you deserved it (3023)

On 09/08/2011 at 1:36am - money - by julesmommy - United States (Washington)



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