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Today, I went to a work party where we had a Secret Santa. I gave a nice set of beer bottles with glasses. When my name was called I naturally picked the biggest gift. I got groceries. I now have dog food and men's body spray. I don't have a boyfriend or a dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6682) - you deserved it (20496)
On 12/14/2010 at 9:18pm - work - by crazygirl - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I received an anonymous letter telling me that I smell bad, and suggesting that I wear more deodorant. Apparently my BO is so bad that someone feels the need to stalk me to point it out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6674) - you deserved it (20422)
On 09/07/2010 at 11:36am - health - by speedstick - United States
Today, I re-dislocated my arm trying to get it out of the cast it was in because I didn't want to pay the $50 dollar fee to get it taken off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6669) - you deserved it (67219)
On 08/19/2009 at 5:02pm - health - by flaps (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I paid a locksmith $100 after I locked myself out of my apartment. All he did was hit it, and it flung open. It wasn't locked, it'd just got stuck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6669) - you deserved it (12152)
On 11/07/2012 at 10:00am - money - by stuck (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I pulled up to a stoplight and blew past the car beside me to merge into one lane. About 30 seconds later, I ran out of gas right in front of them. We were on a bridge, and I had to push my car all the way across. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6666) - you deserved it (40964)
On 05/23/2009 at 10:17pm - misc - by DQB (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6658) - you deserved it (15795)
On 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was babysitting three little kids. I decided to give one of them (a seven-year-old) a piggy-back ride, thinking I'm strong enough. I managed to get a few feet before faceplanting on the wooden floor. She is fine though, no pain or anything. My face took the impact for both of us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6658) - you deserved it (15676)
On 01/30/2010 at 12:05am - kids - by ouchy (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, while putting on a load of laundry, I squeezed the detergent bottle and it made a noise like a woman's orgasm. After laughing, I realised that I'm probably too immature to be washing my own clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6656) - you deserved it (15199)
On 04/24/2012 at 10:03am - intimacy - by mmmtortilla (woman) - Spain (Pais Vasco)
Today, I was smoking a cigarette in my backyard while my parents were out, because I'm not allowed to smoke. While smoking, my parents came home unexpectedly. In a rush, I flicked it over the fence, and it landed in my neighbor's hair. It was still lit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6653) - you deserved it (49313)
On 05/15/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by OuttaNowhere81 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I shaved my legs for the first time in three weeks. It took half an hour, three disposable razors, and I cut my legs up so badly they look worse then they did when they were hairy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6656) - you deserved it (20084)
On 07/15/2012 at 10:42am - misc - by Taylor - United States (New York)
Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy the Plan B pill. The pharmacist recognized me and said, "Really? Again?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (6651) - you deserved it (26280)
On 01/29/2009 at 10:19am - misc - by Hahaha - United States (California)
Today, my step-mom asked if I was having some eating issues. I admitted that maybe I've picked up some bad habits from friends and school. Now she won't stop bombarding me with self-help books and therapy websites. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6649) - you deserved it (15789)
On 01/11/2011 at 8:04pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I told my girlfriend of eight months that if she didn't start taking my band's music seriously, we couldn't see each other anymore. She said fine, and I hugged her, but then she stood up and said 'I hope we can still be friends,' and walked out the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6647) - you deserved it (49413)
On 10/20/2009 at 2:51am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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