Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while at a psychiatric hospital working as a student nurse, I discovered one of the patients had developed an unhealthy obsession for me. He was admitted for stalking and abusing a girl who looked just like me. It's only my first week. FML

#20127982
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23071) - you deserved it (1518)

On 10/22/2012 at 6:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I went to the Apple store to try and figure out what's going on with my iPhone. After an hour of speaking to three different geniuses and waiting around, their solution was to "Google it." FML

#20171869
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23071) - you deserved it (3547)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:42am - misc - by Jo - United States (California)

Today, my teacher called me into his office so he that he could pass me some information for my project. Just as he plugged in my thumbdrive, he opened the folder named "School Work". That was the folder name I used to disguise my porn. FML

#1415955
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23070) - you deserved it (101517)

On 04/28/2009 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, I got mugged in broad daylight, in a park, by a teenage girl. To top it off, I'm a grown man. FML

#19918420
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23070) - you deserved it (8580)

On 07/10/2012 at 11:27am - misc - by Username (man) - United States

Today, I showed my son the old trick of turning a calculator upside down and spelling "BOOBIES" on it in numbers. He laughed, then spent nearly 20 minutes trying to spell "COCKS", before giving up and hurling the calculator across the room. I wish my sperm had a warranty. FML

#21346989
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23070) - you deserved it (5685)

On 01/30/2015 at 7:51pm - kids - by 3722145 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to see a musical that some school friends had put on. At some point in the show, the main character kicked her leg up in the air, and her high heel flew off of her foot and into the audience. The shoe hit me square in the face. FML

#20196764
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23068) - you deserved it (1755)

On 12/08/2012 at 7:25pm - health - by ko - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to make a poster for social studies. I decided to write "Nice ass" in hieroglyphics. Turns out my teacher can read hieroglyphics. FML

#20691781
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23067) - you deserved it (47763)

On 05/28/2013 at 7:42pm - work - by Amber - United States (California)

Today, I found out that I can get my girlfriend to make more sex noises by massaging her back than I can by actually having sex with her. FML

#19480957
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23065) - you deserved it (6703)

On 04/16/2012 at 9:59pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was 'really his own best friend.' FML

#18614469
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23064) - you deserved it (2771)

On 12/26/2011 at 7:11am - love - by SoccerBabe42 (woman) - Canada

Today, I woke up to an angry text from my roommate asking me to please let her know next time I'm going to have a friend crashing on the couch. I have no idea who she's talking about. FML

#20038307
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23065) - you deserved it (1501)

On 08/23/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was eating a meatball sub when a meatball fell out and rolled into my hair and all down my shirt. I couldn't find the missing meatball anywhere. I found it later, in my handbag. FML

#19179734
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23063) - you deserved it (4059)

On 02/28/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by malloreigh (woman) - Australia

Today, I had to sit in a three-seat truck between my dad and his best friend on a 4-hour trip to Detroit. It was great, besides their incessant crude jokes and stories, including chafing ball sacks, and naming their new radio station, "Chicks With Dicks Radio." FML

#21380298
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23104) - you deserved it (2273)

On 03/23/2015 at 7:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I learned that last week, the UPS man gave my package to my neighbor for safekeeping. It was over five-hundred dollars' worth of merchandise. My neighbor left for Canada on Saturday. FML

#20160454
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23059) - you deserved it (1661)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:40pm - money - by siciliano12594 - United States (New York)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: