Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my alcoholic mother decided to finally check herself into rehab. She did it while drunk, and flirted with the front attendant. FML

#19016391
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22679) - you deserved it (2017)

On 02/07/2012 at 4:27am - health - by anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I heard that there's a rumour going around that I was caught masturbating while crying at a party after the girl I liked got with someone else. FML

#7946481
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22678) - you deserved it (2991)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I got a phone call from a friend, who lives in the same neighbourhood as me, wondering if it was my father she saw walking a dog by her house, wearing only his boxers. It was. FML

#14117134
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22678) - you deserved it (1975)

On 12/07/2010 at 5:35am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Ostfold)

Today, my boss expected me to corroborate her lie to a customer. She changed her story suddenly and I got caught up in the crosshairs. Then she got mad at me for not understanding what just happened. FML

#21345151
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22680) - you deserved it (1963)

On 01/27/2015 at 4:17pm - work - by morning_glory - United States (California)

Today, my boss quit his job and stopped coming in without warning. Guess who just inherited his tasks and responsibilities without the training or pay associated with his manager role. I was hired last year as a junior system admin. FML

#14267236
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22678) - you deserved it (2702)

On 12/20/2010 at 12:29am - work - by promoted (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

#20081762
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22677) - you deserved it (12561)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that I was pregnant and sent a picture of the positive test to my boyfriend. Before I got a text back from him, I got his newly updated Facebook status that read "This has got to be the most depressing day of my life." FML

#20444550
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22676) - you deserved it (6682)

On 01/06/2013 at 3:17am - misc - by kiken.bara - United States

Today, while waiting on the platform, a blind man asked out loud for some help getting into the subway car. I helped him through the doors and into a seat. I decided to sit down as well. Twenty minutes later, I realized I was on the wrong subway line. FML

#13182714
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22673) - you deserved it (6072)

On 09/24/2010 at 1:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend told me he always thought the female orgasm was an urban legend. FML

#5735053
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22672) - you deserved it (3617)

On 10/09/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by 310 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was run over by my own car as I tried to push it out of a snowbank. FML

#14248999
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22671) - you deserved it (4555)

On 12/18/2010 at 3:22pm - health - by drew - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out my brother blew chunks into the inside of my jeans. How did I find this out? I put them on. FML

#8819162
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22669) - you deserved it (2497)

On 03/04/2010 at 6:24am - misc - by AZN656 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I slipped on a crayon a little girl threw on the floor, causing me to drop the tray of water I was carrying, making me spill it all over her. After getting cussed out by her mom, I was fired for making a customer unhappy. FML

#20115984
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22669) - you deserved it (1523)

On 10/14/2012 at 1:29am - work - by bbbbb - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was playing Slender, when I caught a glimpse of the Slenderman. I jumped in my chair, letting rip a huge fart in the process. Nobody heard it, but only because my shrieks of terror drowned out the sound. FML

#20498426
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22669) - you deserved it (8617)

On 02/08/2013 at 4:59pm - misc - by theydidsmellitthough (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: