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Today, I was talking with my mother. As we went to say goodbye, she said "I love you". Out of habit of saying I love you to my girlfriend, I said, "Love you too babe". FML

by _1CrazyEyes1_ / 04/07/2015 at 7:57pm / Virgin Islands, U.S. / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I took the train home. When seated, I suddenly noticed something wet on my seat. Without looking, I thought it was water since it was snowing outside. Guess again. It was vomit. FML

by herzausstein / 12/21/2009 at 5:36pm / Belgium (Limburg) / Transportation

Today, I was on my bed on top of my boyfriend when I lost my balance and fell. My father walked in the door to see what the noise was. I don't know what is more embarrassing, my father walking in, or him walking in saying "Thats an expensive bed." FML

by EmbarrassedDaughter / 05/23/2010 at 3:27am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, on my way to my therapist, my father told me to lie to her and tell her that I'm happy so he doesn't have to drive me in anymore. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2012 at 3:03am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, after replacing several components on my new used car, I realized that the reason it wasn't getting the gas mileage it was supposed to because my coworkers take turns siphoning my gas while I work. FML

by thatshelpful / 07/02/2015 at 12:16am / United States (Iowa) / Transportation

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML

by Derp McShitstain / 09/16/2012 at 3:48pm / United Kingdom (St. Helens) / Health

Today, my car wouldn't start, so I had to wait for AAA. Then, hurrying to pick up my brother, I got a $161 speeding ticket. Twenty minutes later, I got a call from him saying he didn't need a ride anymore. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2010 at 6:04pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, there was a snowstorm in Denmark. I had a job interview, but because of the weather, the buses were delayed, and I had to wait more than an hour in the freezing cold. When I finally got there, I was told the person I was supposed to talk to hadn't been able to make it in today. FML

by James / 02/18/2010 at 11:38am / Denmark (Frederiksborg) / Transportation

Today, a girl I'd been talking to all night actually wanted to come home with me. Stopped to buy condoms. Got home, clothes came off, took out a condom. "Sorry, I'm allergic to latex". She left in a cab. I'm a 27-year old virgin for another night and now have a box of condoms to remind me. FML

by ohgodwhyfml / 11/28/2015 at 9:32am / United States (Connecticut) / Transportation

Today, while at the beach, my little sister thought it would be cute to feed a small seagull some of her food. Minutes later a flock of seagulls swarmed and attacked me and my sandwich. FML

by ihateseagulls / 04/07/2011 at 7:28pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals

Today, my friend was complaining about about her new boyfriend. Playing around, I told her that he sounded a lot like my ex. He is. FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2015 at 5:20am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I heard a teenage boy ask his friend, "So, is it, like, November in Australia too?" This is the future of America. FML

by toritoratora / 11/26/2012 at 12:27am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I've spent far too long on hold to Apple customer support. Unfortunately the only thing to come from it is I now have "Call me maybe" stuck in my head. FML

by still on hol / 12/27/2014 at 5:12am / United Kingdom (Essex) / Geek