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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I met a woman that I've been emailing and trading pics with for over a month. We had a face to face, she was surprisingly overweight, and the sun hit her face in a way that radiated all her facial hair. FML

#1122
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6585) - you deserved it (18483)

On 01/14/2009 at 11:03am - love - by agnosticstudy - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was on Facebook when I saw a link about what Pokémon would look like if they had genitals. I'm not quite sure why, but I decided to click it, and at that exact moment, my brother and his friend walked in. They told my mom I was looking at Pokémon porn. I'll never be able to live this down. FML

#7124750
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6584) - you deserved it (15117)

On 01/03/2010 at 11:40am - intimacy - by grounded (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, my friend and I were bouncing around on a trampoline. We brought my dog up to bounce him around. We found it hilarious. He didn't. He attacked us. FML

#15844364
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6582) - you deserved it (57386)

On 04/19/2011 at 6:03am - animals - by sore (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, I was told by my girlfriend that in the thralls of my drunken haze last night, I tried to French-kiss her mom. FML

#14590525
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6581) - you deserved it (24137)

On 01/15/2011 at 3:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up extremely hungover next to a guy I have been in love with for a while but hadn't seen for ages. Turns out he had a bet going with his mates. He bet he could get me to sleep with him straight away even after not calling me for a month. He was right. FML

#6131702
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6579) - you deserved it (15611)

On 11/03/2009 at 4:25am - intimacy - by Lovestupid (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I tested the new taps in the shower, with my head. Yep, they're strong enough. FML

#10817967
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6576) - you deserved it (18566)

On 05/28/2010 at 9:18am - misc - by gahdamnit - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at my volleyball tournament I was extremely pumped to start playing so I went to take my sweats off and everybody began to stare at me then I looked down to come to realize I had no spandex on, just a thong. FML

#8698914
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6574) - you deserved it (18778)

On 02/27/2010 at 8:11pm - misc - by volleyballgirl - United States

Today, I allowed my friend to practice driving in my car. As she began to let the car roll forward, she looked at me and very seriously asked, "Brakes is the right pedal, right?" FML

#13440405
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6574) - you deserved it (17503)

On 10/13/2010 at 11:08pm - misc - by holly10350 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I purposely misspelled words while texting my boyfriend so he would think I was out partying and having a life. FML

#20048535
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6574) - you deserved it (20091)

On 08/29/2012 at 9:33pm - misc - by nolife - United States (Virginia)

Today, I really wanted something to drink. I looked in the fridge, and found some of my grandma's soy milk. I decide to take a swig, and instead of tasting soy, I tasted rotten chicken. Turns out my grandma knew I drink her soy milk and decided to swap it with expired chicken broth. FML

#6689235
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6573) - you deserved it (26090)

On 12/10/2009 at 12:41am - work - by souped (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I finally went to the DMV to replace my lost license. After waiting for almost two hours, I casually rummaged through my purse. Something strange inside the lining caught my eye. It was my license. FML

#19932233
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6574) - you deserved it (14697)

On 07/13/2012 at 11:19am - misc - by HellisLikeTheDMV (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was supposed to talk to my girlfriend's mom to ask permission to date her daughter but I chickened out. We've been together for almost a year, but have not been on a real date because I am too damn scared of her family. FML

#8913654
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6571) - you deserved it (30076)

On 03/08/2010 at 3:33am - love - by imafrickenidiot - Sent from mobile version

Today, I burned my tongue. With a flat iron. FML

#17544940
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6570) - you deserved it (37909)

On 08/22/2011 at 2:43am - health - by heheheh - Canada (Ontario)



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