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Today, I had to have a discussion with my 54-year-old mother about showering. She thinks it's perfectly OK to shower only once a week. FML

#18913087
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22280) - you deserved it (2716)

On 01/26/2012 at 12:19am - health - by NeedaNosePlug (woman) - United States

Today, the coworker I've had a crush on for the past few months asked me if I was busy Friday night. I was so excited, I immediately replied, "I thought you'd never ask!" He gave me a funny look and said, "Good, because I need you to take my shift." FML

#19999670
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22279) - you deserved it (5116)

On 08/03/2012 at 1:24am - love - by DeeGirlMon (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was in a shoe store. I picked up a shoe so I could look at it, but when I put it back on the shelf, the whole shelf fell down, making all the shoes fall to the ground. The people behind the counter started clapping. FML

#7090975
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22277) - you deserved it (3404)

On 01/01/2010 at 9:45pm - misc - by shoes (woman) - United States

Today, I was the designated driver for my friend's 21st birthday. On the way home from the bar, he threw up all the pasta and tequila he'd had onto the back seat of my car, and told me it was part of his whole party plan. FML

#13457559
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22277) - you deserved it (3630)

On 10/15/2010 at 10:08am - misc - by IhatebeingtheDD - United States

Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML

#8680968
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22276) - you deserved it (2713)

On 02/27/2010 at 1:36am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to go on a diet to lose some weight before summer. This was followed by the arrival of a giant parcel full of candy from my mother. FML

#10481687
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22271) - you deserved it (5396)

On 05/12/2010 at 5:49am - health - by nick - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I knocked over a display case at a mall, shattering hundreds of dollars in goods. Embarrassed, I tried to scurry out of the nearest door without being seen. I scuttled right into the janitor's closet, the door automatically locking behind me. I waited for an hour to be let out. FML

#20784911
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22270) - you deserved it (43600)

On 07/15/2013 at 7:36pm - money - by Jer (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML

#17775098
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22269) - you deserved it (3097)

On 09/18/2011 at 8:23pm - love - by DeadScared (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my parents want me to become a lawyer, all because our family members keep getting into feuds and court cases. I'm a successful developer, and run my own company. FML

#18782870
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22269) - you deserved it (2145)

On 01/12/2012 at 5:14am - work - by me_the_maniak - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I went to Safeway. The security guard wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. When I confronted him about it he told me that they looked fake and he was making sure I didn't stuff my bra with stolen items. FML

#19725175
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22270) - you deserved it (4335)

On 06/03/2012 at 3:45am - misc - by ilovezim29 - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to an angry text from my roommate asking me to please let her know next time I'm going to have a friend crashing on the couch. I have no idea who she's talking about. FML

#20038307
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22266) - you deserved it (1446)

On 08/23/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I had to sit in the hospital with my 88-year-old grandfather by myself. During the five hours I was there, he insisted on sharing the intimate details of his many sexcapades that he has had since World War II. FML

#19375039
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22265) - you deserved it (2616)

On 03/30/2012 at 7:32am - intimacy - by kawood (woman) - United States

Today, I overheard a conversation between a coworker and a new employee. The new girl was trying to get familiar with people's names, and she asked my coworker, "Which one is Heather?" He answered, "The annoying one." She said, "Oh, that's Heather." I'm Heather. FML

#13625422
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22264) - you deserved it (7581)

On 10/28/2010 at 10:19am - work - by kaz89 (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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