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Today, my neighbours watched and laughed as I chased my dog around the lawn, trying to rescue the only clean pair of underwear I had in my house. FML

#18207417
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20868) - you deserved it (9021)

On 11/10/2011 at 12:56am - animals - by Doggy... (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I thought it would be nice to park my new car under a big, shady oak tree to prevent it from heating up in the sun. The big, shady oak tree thought it would be nice to shed a massive branch on top of my new car. FML

#20196008
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20868) - you deserved it (3469)

On 12/08/2012 at 4:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was teaching a class but kids were chatting. After 3 soap box speeches about "The next person who talks gets a note to take home," one kid looked right at me and went "meow". FML

#891
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20866) - you deserved it (6541)

On 01/09/2009 at 3:54am - kids - by Liz - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was kneeling down at work to do some cleaning. My co-worker said, "Oh don't your knees hurt, kneeling like that for so long?" Without thinking how it sounded, I said, "Oh no, it's not a problem. I'm on my knees all the time." He's yet to stop hitting on me. FML

#1770571
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20865) - you deserved it (45514)

On 05/09/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mom hosted a high-school reunion. I had to prepare dessert, while my brother cooked dinner. Being the absolute dickhead that he is, he switched the sugar with salt. All the desserts I made tasted like shit, everyone left, and I got grounded for my supposed prank. FML

#20127118
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20865) - you deserved it (1903)

On 10/21/2012 at 7:00pm - misc - by HOPE YOU GET PEGGED (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad insisted on having a family movie night. He chose the movies Jaws and Mayday. I'm going on a diving expedition tomorrow. FML

#19271191
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20864) - you deserved it (2449)

On 03/13/2012 at 1:59pm - misc - by Samantha - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML

#16432194
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20860) - you deserved it (64586)

On 05/31/2011 at 7:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, due to a misunderstanding, I unintentionally agreed to have a dinner date with a co-worker. He's ten years older than me. Not only do I have to find a way to reject him, but I have to work with him on weekends. The worst part is, he's the first guy to ask me out in ages. FML

#17552222
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20858) - you deserved it (5814)

On 08/22/2011 at 10:03pm - work - by Moron (woman) - Canada

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML

#2804
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20855) - you deserved it (2175)

On 01/27/2009 at 9:23am - misc - by impatient amy - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, while landscaping my backyard, I was pulling a big weed out of the ground. After the last tug, the soil came free, but ended up with me punching myself full force in the nuts. I think my future children are already filing for parental abuse. FML

#19508765
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20854) - you deserved it (3848)

On 04/21/2012 at 11:27pm - health - by JurassicHole (man) - United States

Today, I went on a date with my really attractive neighbor, and at the end, when I leaned in to make out with her, she shook my hand. FML

#3670
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20853) - you deserved it (5240)

On 01/30/2009 at 9:42am - love - by anonymous neighbor - United States (New York)

Today, my father went out to get batteries for the remote control helicopter I bought him for Christmas. In his excitement, he backed his truck into my car. FML

#6947126
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20851) - you deserved it (2443)

On 12/25/2009 at 10:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I came home to find that my roommate had done the laundry. At first, I was very appreciative. However, I wasn't so thankful when I found out she brought home the wrong basket from the laundromat. FML

#8639311
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20851) - you deserved it (1933)

On 02/25/2010 at 1:12pm - misc - by jacquelle - United States (Tennessee)



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