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Today, after a long and tiring day at work, I went to the movies, loaded up on soda, popcorn, and candy. I ended up falling asleep and being woken up two hours later by an usher. FML

#16732224
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23509) - you deserved it (7580)

On 06/18/2011 at 5:49pm - misc - by Stormy - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I returned to my university residence following spring break. I was greeted by a letter stating I'd been caught on camera vandalising a wall repair. At the time in question, I was asleep on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The REZ coordinator is avoiding me, and I can't clear my name. FML

#19295579
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23509) - you deserved it (1619)

On 03/17/2012 at 6:26pm - misc - by CutePenguin (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother followed me to work to see what I got up to. I'm a fitness instructor in a ground floor gym that has big windows overlooking the street. She stood outside and waved at me for half an hour, while I tried to concentrate on teaching a visibly amused class. FML

#17836220
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23505) - you deserved it (2118)

On 09/26/2011 at 12:28am - work - by Username - United States (Illinois)

Today, I watched the Sochi Winter Games online. Excited by an athlete's victory, I yelled out, "YEAH!" to 20-or-so silent coworkers. As if to redeem myself, I then said, "Don't pretend like you're all working you lot!" Our boss was right behind me. FML

#21057961
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23505) - you deserved it (35277) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/12/2014 at 4:47am - work - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version

Today, I learned just how much change a toddler can stuff in to a Nintendo Wii. I also learned that those things are put together with special screws. FML

#6919717
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23504) - you deserved it (3714)

On 12/24/2009 at 10:49am - kids - by Gameless Guy - United States

Today, I found a picture my husband had saved on the computer. It was of me, and he had named it "Fatter". FML

#15075025
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23504) - you deserved it (11941)

On 02/22/2011 at 3:38am - love - by just great... -

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out on his deck out back. When leaving, I heard the sliding glass door open on the upper deck, I froze in the yard to not be seen. Too bad I didn't move. Apparently his dad pees off the deck at night. I had to walk home covered in pee. FML

#20113299
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23504) - you deserved it (6073)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:11am - health - by monkeyzz (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to do the laundry at my hotel. I had just enough money for my two loads. After getting frustrated with the washer taking two of my quarters and giving no credit, I took the clothes out. The washer then locked the door shut and started without my clothes. FML

#19996404
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23501) - you deserved it (4282)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:44pm - misc - by jessmess (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog accidentally crapped on her leash. When I flicked the leash to get the poo off, it went flying. Have you ever had warm poo hit you in the face on a cold day when there's 6 inches of snow on the ground? I have. FML

#7913686
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23500) - you deserved it (8778)

On 02/05/2010 at 7:50pm - animals - by doggie_doo_face (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was the waiter for my family at the village inn. This wasn't so bad until I found out they left me no tip, only a napkin that said, "Get a haircut." FML

#17106364
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23501) - you deserved it (3225)

On 07/14/2011 at 10:17am - work - by alek - United States

Today, I woke up on the floor after I fell asleep last night while counting my tips. The pennies stuck to my face and left large blue circles from the copper. The blue won't come off. I have my senior photos today. My appointment can't be rescheduled. FML

#8748241
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23500) - you deserved it (5807)

On 03/01/2010 at 2:15pm - misc - by uwbeautyqueen12 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was stabbed in the chest. Not with a knife though, the under-wire from my bra escaped and stabbed me in the boob. FML

#19321337
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23500) - you deserved it (2940)

On 03/21/2012 at 5:06pm - misc - by J.O.S (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I sent in an assignment from my batshit insane teacher. The assignment was to read a poem, analyze it, and make a comic of its plot. This would've been fine if the teacher who assigned it to me didn't teach math. FML



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