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Today, I was at my grandparents' house, when the power went out. Even though we were supplied with candles and flashlights, we still had to stumble around in the darkness. They'd left both the candles and flashlights in the pitch black, unnavigable basement. FML

#17654474
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19479) - you deserved it (2602)

On 09/03/2011 at 4:52pm - misc - by itsgonnabealongnight... (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom needed coffee so I drove to Starbucks to get her some. She let me drive the Porsche, which has never happened. Upon coming home I picked the coffee up out of the cupholder so it wouldnt spill. My phone vibrated in my pocket, I spilled the coffee and crashed the car into the garage. FML

#218369
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19477) - you deserved it (58149)

On 03/05/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by cane - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was talking to my dad and told him that I want to be a hotel maid, hoping that he would tell me "You can do better, you're smart, etc." Instead he said, "I'm glad you finally have a goal that you can actually achieve." FML

#15362432
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19475) - you deserved it (29027)

On 03/18/2011 at 1:32am - misc - by hopeless (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I laced up my fabulous new boots and walked outside to find my hot neighbor, with whom I carpool every morning. I struck a pose, feeling quite confident. Upon taking my first step down the stairs, I fell forward. I woke up an hour later with 7 stitches in my head. FML

#233704
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19474) - you deserved it (35632)

On 03/07/2009 at 12:16pm - misc - by Triple F (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I took my cat to the vet's. When the vet took her temperature anally, I couldn't stop laughing. The vet had to ask me to leave the room. FML

Today, depressed about a recent break-up with my long-term boyfriend, I bought a book about moving on after a relationship ends. The cashier placed some standard promotional fliers in my bag during check-out. Once home, I pulled out the fliers. They were for a married couples retreat. FML

#19404981
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19473) - you deserved it (2514)

On 04/04/2012 at 1:43am - love - by heartsick (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I started my new job as the only IT tech for my office. My first task: untangling the hundred mice the previous tech tied together for "fun". FML

#20150513
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19472) - you deserved it (1384)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I went out on his boat. We got in the water and started to have sex when a fishing boat came by and chummed. There's nothing more romantic than bloody fish guts. FML

#19666580
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19472) - you deserved it (9625)

On 05/23/2012 at 5:38am - intimacy - by Fire0fisis (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, I drank 1.5 litres of water. I didn't go to the bathroom for 9 hours. During my one hour trek home on public transport, I was busting to pee but I managed to hold it. Walking 200m from my bus stop to my house was agony, but I still held it. When I got to my front door I peed my pants. FML

#4677149
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19470) - you deserved it (40548)

On 08/20/2009 at 7:02am - misc - by anon9876542 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my doctor asked for a urine sample. It's the first time I've tried to cup my own pee. Despite the fact that I'm a woman, I managed to aim wrong, and sprayed the floor, hit the door and my handbag with my own pee. FML

#17584076
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19470) - you deserved it (14552)

On 08/26/2011 at 5:09am - health - by goldengirl - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was driving home from an airport. On the way home, I got a flat tire. Once I was outside the car I realized that I had accidentally locked the car with the keys inside. I was in the middle of nowhere 20 miles from anywhere and couldn't call for help since my phone was in the car. FML

Today, I discovered a brown recluse spider in my house. Before I could smash it, it escaped under the door. Now I'm freaked out and wearing boots and gloves, clutching at my kittens and waiting for it to appear. My dad laughs everytime he walks past. FML

#20141607
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19469) - you deserved it (3865)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:09pm - animals - by NotSpiderman (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after puking all over the bathroom and my legs, I called my husband for sympathy. The first thing he says is "Did you cry?" and when I answered no, instead of wishing me better he quickly exclaimed "WHO'S MY BIG GIRL!" FML

#8923957
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19459) - you deserved it (6006)

On 03/08/2010 at 5:40pm - health - by gotitEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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