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Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML

#20188543
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20843) - you deserved it (2701)

On 12/02/2012 at 8:57pm - misc - by :/ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that you can be so sleep deprived that you sleep through your alarm, a construction crew outside your house, and your bladder completely voiding itself. FML

#20071794
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20841) - you deserved it (2324)

On 09/14/2012 at 4:47pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, I was trying to relieve a dog that looked like it was choking because it was tied to a pole while its owner was in a restaurant. The owner called a security guard because she was convinced I was trying to steal her dog. FML

#13162058
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20840) - you deserved it (4114)

On 09/22/2010 at 9:25pm - animals - by Hilary - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was apparently tired enough to spray silly string under my armpits rather than deodorant. FML

#18920760
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20840) - you deserved it (6165)

On 01/26/2012 at 10:22pm - misc - by ParkerRommel (man) - United States

Today, I woke up early for an important team meeting I needed to attend. I washed, got changed, and sat down to eat breakfast... I then woke up again, an hour late and covered in cereal. FML

#19645294
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20840) - you deserved it (3918)

On 05/19/2012 at 4:03am - work - by themcdave - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I was extremely constipated. This is a side effect of the medication I take to alleviate my stomach condition. Due to this same condition I can't eat much roughage. We have no laxatives or stool softeners, and I have been shitting bricks for three days. FML

#14124824
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20839) - you deserved it (3069)

On 12/07/2010 at 9:38pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to give my husband a tutorial on how to use jumper cables. Confused and flustered, he requested written instructions. FML

#18975500
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20839) - you deserved it (3183)

On 02/02/2012 at 9:50am - misc - by MM (woman) -

Today, after discussing the side-effects of an insomnia aid, my doctor said that making a choice was naturally a difficult one, and that he would only prescribe it to me once I'd had "a good, long sleep on it". He then laughed out loud and called in the next patient. FML

#13616932
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20838) - you deserved it (2402)

On 10/27/2010 at 5:58pm - misc - by royalscenery (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

#19511225
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20839) - you deserved it (2243)

On 04/22/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I offered my phone number to the guy I've been flirting back and forth with all week. He said no. FML

#19497689
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20837) - you deserved it (3456)

On 04/19/2012 at 9:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my husband decided to be helpful and do all the laundry, including pre-treating all the stains. He felt that Clorox Clean-Up with Bleach would be the most effective. FML

#8374594
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20834) - you deserved it (3276)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my friends happily announced that although they had been cut, they were still going to be playing on the school's volleyball team. The rumor going around is that everyone who tried out made the team. I never got a call back. FML

#17652760
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20834) - you deserved it (2482)

On 09/03/2011 at 12:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I added "a road sign" to my ever-growing list of 'Things which have hit my car as a result of the wind.' FML

#18465867
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20835) - you deserved it (2748)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:05am - misc - by it'sabitwindy - United States



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