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Today, my girlfriend told me she didn't want to get it on with me because she didn't want to ruin my innocence. FML

#5141193
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19838) - you deserved it (3367)

On 09/09/2009 at 12:13am - intimacy - by Magnus_the_Red (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was practicing for a choir concert that I have next week. My mom walked into my room and listened to me for a little while. After I finished the last song, she smiled, patted me on the head and said, "It's okay honey, I can't sing either." FML

#19590549
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19839) - you deserved it (2493)

On 05/08/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by Ellie (woman) - United States

Today, I am exhausted and can barely move after being up all night taking care of my drunk and vomiting husband. He, on the other hand, feels much better and is bounding with energy. FML

#19800781
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19836) - you deserved it (2574)

On 06/17/2012 at 8:34am - health - by Shenza - United States (New York)

Today, I trimmed my beard. When I showed my wife, she said, "Yeah, but you still look like a serial killer." FML

#19797072
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19832) - you deserved it (4638)

On 06/16/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by Schaf_12 (man) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I walked past a church with a bunch of people standing outside waiting for the bride and groom to walk out. When the church doors opened, I yelled congratulations as loud as I could. It was a funeral. FML

#811533
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19825) - you deserved it (73474)

On 04/05/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by oops (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my grandpa came over to help paint our house, as we are renovating it. The only paint clothes he decided to wear were his underpants. The neighbours and builders found this quite amusing. FML

#14706670
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19825) - you deserved it (2423)

On 01/25/2011 at 4:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML

#19602885
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19826) - you deserved it (4567)

On 05/10/2012 at 3:14pm - misc - by Amy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I called my mum, crying because of my low self-esteem. She interrupted my sobs by saying, "Can I hang up now? The phone's getting hot." FML

#19567483
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19826) - you deserved it (5271)

On 05/03/2012 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, while I was out shopping, my pants decided that they just didn't have enough holes in them, and ripped a new one in the crotch. FML

#18864007
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19822) - you deserved it (4862)

On 01/20/2012 at 6:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - France

Today, a police officer came to talk to the kids at my workplace. He asked what they wanted to hear about first. A group of them shouted, "The donuts, tells us about the donuts." Apparently these idiots are the future of my country. FML

#19812468
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19821) - you deserved it (4400)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:08pm - kids - by Joseph N - United States

Today, I had to give a speech but I wasn't prepared. I decided to give it anyway. While giving the speech, I got so nervous I passed out. FML

#8770202
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19821) - you deserved it (7720)

On 03/02/2010 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the airport to pick up my long distance boyfriend. Having waited six months for this, I was stoked. After waiting for three hours and sending numerous messages, I was eventually informed I was a week early. FML

#19880614
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19819) - you deserved it (12475)

On 07/02/2012 at 11:45am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML

#19914147
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19818) - you deserved it (10610)

On 07/09/2012 at 11:09am - love - by randomguy (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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