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Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML

#18368506
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22263) - you deserved it (3094)

On 11/27/2011 at 5:46pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house and caught her digging for gold. She wasn't picking her nose - she was literally trying to dig for gold in her backyard. FML

#19926554
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22262) - you deserved it (2606)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:03am - love - by anidiotskeeper (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after hanging up the phone, I realised that telemarketers are my only form of social life. FML

#14878575
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22259) - you deserved it (5643)

On 02/07/2011 at 3:38am - misc - by oxbonxo (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I learned that the only reason most of my students come to lecture is that they have a running bet on how many times I say "OK" in two hours. It was 137 last week. FML

#18025254
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22258) - you deserved it (9030)

On 10/19/2011 at 6:42pm - work - by Habit - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, I found a picture my husband had saved on the computer. It was of me, and he had named it "Fatter". FML

#15075025
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22256) - you deserved it (11685)

On 02/22/2011 at 3:38am - love - by just great... -

Today, I was bored at work, so I started browsing the Internet. While I was on my Facebook page, my boss tagged me in a status: "I've been standing behind you for ten minutes." FML

#21134321
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22255) - you deserved it (46221)

On 05/08/2014 at 7:46pm - work - by notbrowsingnow (man) - United States

Today, I got my car back from the shop. The engine has been rebuilt twice in the past 3 months. My check engine light just came on. FML

#14574374
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22254) - you deserved it (3011)

On 01/14/2011 at 2:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I arrived home. I'd left for a business trip 5 days earlier, and trusted my husband with our young boys. As soon as I stepped in the door, I noticed my son had thinner hair than when I'd left. He then showed me an empty container of Nair. FML

#18738819
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22255) - you deserved it (2776)

On 01/07/2012 at 7:50pm - kids - by ProudMama (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my doctor informed me that the pea-sized bump under my arm is a "third breast". That is not what I meant every time I said I wanted more tits. FML

#20072637
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22254) - you deserved it (2207)

On 09/15/2012 at 7:07am - health - by Leashaness (woman) - United States

Today, my 10 year old brother won the poem contest at his school. Since then he won’t stop bugging me with them. FML

#319
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22254) - you deserved it (7643)

On 11/17/2008 at 3:53am - kids - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, my ex-boyfriend who I am still in love with sends me a text message that says "I miss you, baby". It turns out my name comes right after his girlfriend's name on his contact list. FML

#2236
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22253) - you deserved it (1676)

On 01/22/2009 at 5:47pm - love - by yeah... - United States (Ohio)

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend in the bathroom, we heard a knock at the door, then her father's voice. I had to fake constipation noises until he left. FML

#20053940
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22253) - you deserved it (12173)

On 09/02/2012 at 11:38am - intimacy - by scot - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months told me he was not going to celebrate Valentine's day because it was a "capitalistic consumerism holiday". He works in a bank and helps "capitalism consumerism" 364 days a year. FML

#8043963
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22251) - you deserved it (4797)

On 02/09/2010 at 4:49am - misc - by Brokenheartz - United Kingdom (Essex)



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  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

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