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Today, on my first day of work, my new boss treated me to lunch. Thinking she was really nice, I thanked her for the treat. She fixed me with a cold, unsmiling stare and said, "Oh, don't thank me. I'm being paid to do this." FML

#13967011
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23418) - you deserved it (2288)

On 11/24/2010 at 9:32pm - work - by niceboss (woman) - Singapore

Today, I found out my 7-year-old daughter really did lie about my husband's "other girlfriend" as revenge for being grounded, and that he never cheated on me at all. We're well into our divorce proceedings and he won't forgive me for not believing him when he denied it. FML

#21327839
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23418) - you deserved it (42560)

On 12/31/2014 at 2:00pm - kids - by skanula414 (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, my daughter watched a potty training video on Sesame Street. In the middle of the video, she got up and ran to her potty to practice. She then announced, "All done!", and proudly closed the lid to her potty. She then immediately stood on top of it and peed. FML

#13252455
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23416) - you deserved it (3158)

On 09/29/2010 at 6:47pm - kids - by Mommy (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mom and I had to shovel our driveway after an epic snowstorm that left us with 22 inches of snow. We only needed to dig out my mom's car and not mine. After we did all that work and shoveled all the snow onto the side where my car was we found out my mom had a flat tire. FML

#6872316
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23414) - you deserved it (2908)

On 12/21/2009 at 8:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I saw a crash on the highway. The police weren't yet there, so I pulled over to help because I know CPR. No one needed CPR, but I had locked myself out of my car. My roadside assist won't come to highways, so I had to get towed away in front of everyone. FML

#13245639
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23414) - you deserved it (5839)

On 09/29/2010 at 3:08am - misc - by blonde (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while in heavy traffic on the highway, a motorcyclist managed to t-bone my car. He picked himself up, glanced at the side of my car, and quickly drove off, all in the space of a few seconds. I just got an expensive paint job on this thing. FML

#17778728
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23411) - you deserved it (2752)

On 09/19/2011 at 4:35am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, a guy I'd been seeing off and on for the past three years broke things off over a Facebook message. I replied, and told him that I was at least worth a phone call. He replied "Well, I'm sorry, I disagree." FML

#8563536
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23409) - you deserved it (3957)

On 02/22/2010 at 7:53pm - love - by notworthit (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to a nearby nightclub with some friends and the girl I've been flirting for weeks. We were having a good time until this girl and two of her friends got back complaining about some "drunk-old-perverts harassing them". It looks like my dad and his friends are having a good time too. FML

#7284485
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23408) - you deserved it (1859)

On 01/11/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by hateskool888581 (man) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he feels empty inside when I'm not in the kitchen. This is the most romantic thing he has said to me in the past two years. FML

#18804066
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23409) - you deserved it (5904)

On 01/14/2012 at 9:31am - love - by iheartmorons - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I painted my nails in the car. After I finished, I stuck my hands out the window to let them dry. When I pulled my hands back in there were live bugs stuck in my nail polish. FML

#21228488
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23408) - you deserved it (45217)

On 08/03/2014 at 2:49pm - misc - by ew - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in a cinema watching a movie to review in the local paper. Suddenly, the guy behind me leans in and starts whispering and hissing "Do it... Do... It. DO IT" for the rest of the movie. I'm still not sure what he wanted me to do, but he did smell of vomit and had a tea-cosy on his head. FML

#17338822
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23407) - you deserved it (2431)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:43am - work - by Username - Australia

Today, I'm at home, sick with walking pneumonia and a raging UTI. Every time I cough, I piss myself. I'm now having to lie on a bath towel and garbage bags until the meds kick in. FML

#20145285
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23407) - you deserved it (1495)

On 11/03/2012 at 1:34am - health - by jdch_99 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML

#19699245
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23404) - you deserved it (1859)

On 05/29/2012 at 2:43pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)



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