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Today, my English teacher kicked me out of class for being "rude and disruptive." In actuality, I had called her out for having blatantly used Google Translate for several example sentences, all of which sounded as if a semi-literate foreigner had constructed them. FML

#19755806
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20415) - you deserved it (3418)

On 06/08/2012 at 3:45pm - misc - by hackshack (man) - Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul)

Today, I got into a slight spot of shit with my new boss over his speech. Apparently he was not actually impersonating Sylvester the Cat, and he just has a speech impediment. When I jokingly said "sufferin' succotash" to him, he wasn't pleased at all. FML

#21056453
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20414) - you deserved it (38292)

On 02/10/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to try to serenade me by throwing rocks at my window and singing a song about how much he loves me. This would have been extremely sweet if he would have gotten my window instead of my dad's. FML

#20050638
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20413) - you deserved it (1935)

On 08/31/2012 at 6:16am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had to explain to my 22-year-old boyfriend that mice do not grow up to be rats. FML

#20096649
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20414) - you deserved it (2358)

On 10/01/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I walked all the way across campus to eat the first meal I've had all day. After waiting for my food in a congested line for 30 minutes, I got to the register to pay. Turns out my wallet was a twenty minute walk away, back in my apartment. FML

#19051047
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20409) - you deserved it (6524)

On 02/11/2012 at 7:53pm - money - by ulring - United States

Today, I ran across the street due to a line of cars waiting for me to cross. Just as I reached the other side, my iPhone slipped out of my hand and fell into the road, just in time to get run over by multiple cars, one after the other. FML

#20181219
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20404) - you deserved it (6582)

On 11/27/2012 at 1:45pm - misc - by unknown - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my girlfriend told me that she woke up after yesterday’s party with someone else’s trousers. FML

#562
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20403) - you deserved it (1835)

On 12/21/2008 at 4:40am - love - by Yudor - Sent from mobile version

Today, after working all week on a group project, I realized I forgot to submit the assignment and missed the deadline. I now have to tell my group that we automatically failed. FML

Today, I went to the pharmacy and asked the very attractive pharmacist what to do about the terrible itching under my cast. She told me to be a man and deal with it. FML

#8797696
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20398) - you deserved it (7096)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:46am - health - by brokenarm (man) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, I went on a run. Going a decent pace, I passed a woman walking her dog. I joked, "C'mon! Keep up!" Thirty feet later I stepped in mud, rolled my ankle and fell. The woman walked by as I lay in agony, and told me to keep up. FML

#20634623
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20397) - you deserved it (69123)

On 05/01/2013 at 10:27am - misc - by luvs2spooge89 - United States (New York)

Today, I got my laptop back after waiting weeks for it to be fixed. It turns out that they didn't fix it; they dusted it off, held it for a few days, and sent it back. FML

#19985315
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20393) - you deserved it (1565)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my entire family thinks I have no friends, am expressionless (to quote, "a robot") and that my monotonous voice hints at the suppressed depression hidden deep inside me. According to them, I need psychic evaluation. It all came out at a family reunion. FML

#8993949
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20396) - you deserved it (2960)

On 03/11/2010 at 9:28am - misc - by talhabilal - Pakistan (Punjab)

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML

#20188881
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20392) - you deserved it (7848)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:06am - health - by WTFFAIL (man) - Canada (Quebec)



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