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Today, after reading about seduction techniques, I wore shades and a brightly colored shirt to a club to attract female attention. However, the sunglasses rendered me almost blind, and I tripped over a step, crashed into tables, and thanks to the shirt, everyone saw it happen in glorious technicolor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6700) - you deserved it (28409)
On 10/02/2011 at 9:34pm - misc - by hardtoignore - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was really psyched to go see Kung Fu Panda 2 at the movies. Excited, I tried to do a flying kick off the cafeteria wall at work. Instead of kicking off, my leg crashed through the plasterboard and got stuck. My co-workers had to pull me free. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6698) - you deserved it (35405)
On 05/27/2011 at 8:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was looking through some old family photos. I don't know what the hell was going on in my head, but I idly double-tapped on one to zoom in. They were prints. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6697) - you deserved it (16705)
On 02/10/2012 at 5:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was massively hungover and driving home. I had a strong suspicion that I was gonna ralph so I was smart and pulled over. I emptied the contents of my stomach into a shopping bag and was proud I didn't make a mess all over the car. Seconds later, the bottom of the bag gave out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6695) - you deserved it (15690)
On 03/06/2010 at 8:17pm - misc - by Octobre (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, out of curiosity, I measured the length of my penis whilst in the shower. A couple of hours later, my father called me downstairs to show me something. Turns out I left the ruler on top of the shower tree. He won't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6694) - you deserved it (22356)
On 07/25/2012 at 9:11pm - intimacy - by Infiltrator4444 - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my husband blew all the candles on his birthday cake while I was taking a photo in front of him. I will probably never use cocoa powder to decorate a birthday cake anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6692) - you deserved it (25770)
On 09/23/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I was walking whilst texting. I thought I was was going in a straight line but I ended up walking right into an open phone booth. A woman was inside making a phone call. I lost my balance, pinning her up against the wall. She thought I was attacking her and clobbered me with the receiver. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6691) - you deserved it (33963)
On 09/27/2009 at 11:59am - misc - by absentmindedmoron (man) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)
Today, I took a pregnancy test. I waited the longest two minutes of my life just to realize I missed the stick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6690) - you deserved it (16556)
On 04/05/2012 at 3:01pm - misc - by darkestbarbie - United States (Georgia)
Today, at work I got in an elevator to go upstairs. It wasn't until the doors opened minutes later and people stepped in that I realized I had zoned out and forgot to press the button for the floor I needed. I then promptly exited the elevator and waited for the next elevator to go up in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6689) - you deserved it (14965)
On 02/19/2013 at 5:03pm - work - by CaBur (man) - United States (California)
Today, I mailed out all my Christmas cards. As I was relaxing and being impressed with myself for being so organized this year, I saw the stack of Christmas cards on the coffee table. Everyone will be receiving an empty envelope for Christmas this year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6687) - you deserved it (24391)
On 12/09/2009 at 1:58pm - misc - by ChristmasCardDork (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, after soccer practice I was looking for my dad. Last night he was an hour late, so I was pretty pissed. When I spotted him, I saw him flirting with a much younger woman. I then tried throwing my soccer ball to his feet, but ended up slamming his head. Only to find out he wasn't my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6685) - you deserved it (23413)
On 10/21/2010 at 4:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I went to a work party where we had a Secret Santa. I gave a nice set of beer bottles with glasses. When my name was called I naturally picked the biggest gift. I got groceries. I now have dog food and men's body spray. I don't have a boyfriend or a dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6686) - you deserved it (20499)
On 12/14/2010 at 9:18pm - work - by crazygirl - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I arrived at work at 8, and business was abnormally slow, but we assumed it would pick up. Few hours later, we had not had a single customer. As I walk out of the restaurant, I realize the open sign has been off all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6683) - you deserved it (24826)
On 09/28/2009 at 12:03am - misc - by Charlotte - United States (Illinois)
Monday 20 May 2013
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