Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

#18507550
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24476) - you deserved it (7432)

On 12/13/2011 at 10:45pm - health - by brownunderwear - United States (Washington)

Today, I came home to my fiancé and his mates playing Monopoly naked in our backyard. FML

#18803544
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24475) - you deserved it (3173)

On 01/14/2012 at 6:42am - misc - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend did the washing as an attempt to help me. Not only are all my clothes now pink, he refuses to do the dishes, vacuuming, bathroom, ironing etc., as he has done "plenty." FML

#18615035
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24473) - you deserved it (4117)

On 12/26/2011 at 10:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my cat was yowling and meowing pathetically outside my door, I checked she had food, water, and she followed me back up to my room. She nestled down on the radiator behind my desk, then threw up all over it. The cat sick is stuck inside the radiator, and it smells just lovely. FML

Today, my mum decided to teach me a lesson about carelessly leaving my wallet about. She left it on the floor so our puppy could use it and its contents as a chew toy. I was almost impressed to discover that he can eat three £20 notes and still have room for debit cards. FML

#8971410
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24471) - you deserved it (8445)

On 03/10/2010 at 1:37pm - money - by MR (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my sister presented me with an "official pet killer" award after yet another goldfish under my care died of unknown causes. FML

#15485596
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24472) - you deserved it (9447)

On 03/25/2011 at 5:52pm - animals - by fish killer - United States (Illinois)

Today, I read an article with tips on how to give girls full-body orgasms and I decided to test a few on my girlfriend. Instead of having a mind-blowing orgasm, she started cackling and said I looked like a giraffe trying to bob for apples. FML

#19352166
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24470) - you deserved it (5637)

On 03/26/2012 at 4:56pm - intimacy - by JC (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I witnessed a robbery as a teenager ran out of a Walgreens with stolen goods in his hands. The manager was running after him. Trying to be helpful, I pulled forward to block the thief from getting away. The cops showed up and arrested me for hitting a pedestrian. FML

#20169022
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24470) - you deserved it (4486)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:18am - misc - by ausmill12 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to get a haircut. Who shows up not 5 minutes later to also get a haircut? My obnoxious, bully of a boss. She started chatting with me across the salon the entire time. There was no way to get out of the conversation. FML

#21346487
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24470) - you deserved it (1827)

On 01/29/2015 at 9:50pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got a new downstairs neighbor. Herpes. FML

#21318606
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24469) - you deserved it (33249)

On 12/16/2014 at 4:04pm - health - by fuck - Norway (Buskerud)

Today, a friend asked me to come with her to the art building at school, so I could pose in the stance of a figure she was drawing for her exam. I obliged and sat for the pose. When the art teacher walked by she looked at me, then at the sketch, pointed to the legs and said, "make them fatter". FML

#14577178
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24468) - you deserved it (3887)

On 01/14/2011 at 11:28am - misc - by humiliated (woman) - United Kingdom (East Ayrshire)

Today, I went to the doctor to get a blood test and I started crying when I saw the needle. I planned on becoming a doctor. FML

#20519825
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24468) - you deserved it (12233)

On 02/24/2013 at 4:34am - health - by Caroline - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I went home, where I live alone, from my dorm room at my university. The only Christmas cards I had received were addressed to the person that lived there before me. FML

#6916745
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24467) - you deserved it (2188)

On 12/24/2009 at 3:18am - misc - by LonelySanta (man) - Australia (Victoria)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: