Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she looked up at me and said, "You look a lot like your brother." FML

#5119297
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21243) - you deserved it (2110)

On 09/08/2009 at 12:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after confessing my love for my best friend, he looked at me and said "I'm not feeling it. But does this mean we can have sex?" FML

#7618857
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21242) - you deserved it (3111)

On 01/27/2010 at 7:09pm - intimacy - by Boned...hard - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had a spur of the moment idea to go have my nose pierced. The piercer made sure to tell me how easily the little stud could get caught or hung up. I spent all day stressing over it only to scratch my nose and rip it out. Now I have a $40 bleeding hole in my nose. FML

#21149883
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21242) - you deserved it (33041)

On 05/24/2014 at 2:08am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to my weekly AA meeting. It was a huge crowd and I was the guest speaker. Not 5 minutes into my speech, I was booed off stage and banned from further attendance because I accidentally wore a Jack Daniel's shirt. FML

#21217633
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21242) - you deserved it (49870)

On 07/22/2014 at 7:20pm - health - by dypshyyt - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried to download some network-monitoring software for the office as I suspect that one of my staff has been constantly downloading torrents. It wouldn't download because someone was using all the bandwidth. FML

#21282944
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21257) - you deserved it (2023)

On 10/22/2014 at 4:09am - work - by Thewatcher (man) - Mauritius

Today, I parked my car in a garage that cost $13 for every 10 minutes past 10 o'clock. When I came back to the garage at 10, I had forgotten where I parked it and spent an hour looking for it. I paid $78 to lose my car. FML

#2300061
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21238) - you deserved it (37440)

On 05/26/2009 at 1:39am - money - by lostcar (man) - United States (California)

Today, I received a coupon for a special offer including flights and accommodation for the honeymoon destination that my fiancé and I are keen on. Yesterday, I paid the full price for the flight tickets and hotel deposit for the honeymoon. FML

#19362332
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21239) - you deserved it (2164)

On 03/28/2012 at 6:47am - money - by honeymooner (man) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)

Today, I was pooping at a local Target when I heard someone say "You need to eat more solids, you're pooping like a rabbit." FML

#20001897
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21239) - you deserved it (3669)

On 08/04/2012 at 7:35am - misc - by llaurenmariee - United States

Today, I was making my bed which would normally be a simple task, until I leaned into the wooden foot of my bed, and put my entire body weight on my left nut. FML

#13364492
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21236) - you deserved it (9487)

On 10/08/2010 at 6:53am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I accidentally dropped my phone while I was crossing the road. Luckily, it survived the fall. Not so luckily, an oncoming bus steamrolled it into oblivion. FML

#18872101
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21234) - you deserved it (3287)

On 01/21/2012 at 3:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML

#19941503
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21234) - you deserved it (2952)

On 07/15/2012 at 3:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was able to land a nice apartment solely based on the fact that my puppy is potty trained. During the required pet interview, my dog 'got sick' and defecated all over the apartment office. I now have to clean the mess knowing that I will not be allowed to live there. FML

#14339155
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21233) - you deserved it (3642)

On 12/25/2010 at 9:29pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that the only reason my boyfriend got a job was so that he could buy weed. FML

#19898504
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21233) - you deserved it (6349)

On 07/06/2012 at 1:46am - misc - by hopeless (woman) - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: