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Today, it was my turn to take out the trash. While walking to the dumpster, I slip and fall. It doesn't really hurt, so I get up and go to the dumpster, but the top is frozen stuck. It won't budge. Then I really pull with a lot of force, and the lid swings open and busts my nose. FML

#8198734
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20047) - you deserved it (3472)

On 02/13/2010 at 8:44am - misc - by lolographic24 - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I decided to get my ass in shape and went to the gym. I got motion-sickness on the elliptical. FML

#18778182
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20047) - you deserved it (5113)

On 01/11/2012 at 7:31pm - health - by tbw (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was at the library. I had to use the restroom, where I ended up singing in bad, made-up Japanese the whole time. When I went back across the library, my brother informed me that everyone could clearly hear me. FML

Today, I was working in costume at a recreation of a Confederation-era town. I had to convince a visitor that it's not, in fact, an Amish village, and we do actually leave after five. FML

#17402357
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20040) - you deserved it (2441)

On 08/08/2011 at 12:07am - work - by a-mishunderstanding -

Today, I was walking with a friend after buying two cups of steaming hot coffee. While crossing the busiest street in town I tripped and fell, spilling the coffee all over me. My friend didn't notice I fell right in front of her and tripped over me spilling her coffee on me as well. FML

#8528184
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20038) - you deserved it (2318)

On 02/21/2010 at 8:31pm - misc - by burnnnnn (woman) - Ecuador (Azuay)

Today, after our old roommate left because he was too dirty for us to live with anymore, we found out that our new roommate has "borrowed" our shampoo, towel, toilet paper, liquor, without replacing them. I wish we still only had to clean up. FML

#17506977
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20038) - you deserved it (3757)

On 08/18/2011 at 2:59am - misc - by upset room mate - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my parents that I have a boyfriend. I was answering their questions about him, when my dad cut me off mid-sentence. He accused me of lying through my teeth, and said I'd based him off a character from a Harrison Ford movie. FML

#20083866
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20038) - you deserved it (2730)

On 09/22/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by busted (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my old roommate used to clean her goldfish bowl with my toothbrush. We lived together for six months. FML

#19287473
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20037) - you deserved it (1700)

On 03/16/2012 at 5:02am - misc - by disgusted - United States

Today, I had to blow up an air mattress using only my lungs. After nearly passing out from lack of oxygen, I realized there was a hole in it. FML

#16454876
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20036) - you deserved it (25511)

On 06/01/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by ven980 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I saw my crush walking on the other side of the street. She hadn't noticed me, so when she did I nonchalantly looked over and casually waved to look cool. I then walked right into a lamp post. FML

#2991516
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20035) - you deserved it (33959)

On 06/18/2009 at 10:04am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Norway (Akershus)

Today, my kids thought it would be funny to put pictures of naked men and women as people's ID on my phone. They won't tell me how to change it back. FML

#11305876
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20035) - you deserved it (27131)

On 06/19/2010 at 3:47am - kids - by Momma - Sent from mobile version

Today, I met my son for the first time since I had to put him up for adoption over two decades ago. I wanted to make amends and get to know him. Instead, all I got to know was how well he can throw a punch. FML

#18799303
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20036) - you deserved it (51072)

On 01/13/2012 at 8:38pm - kids - by me (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a blind date. He took one look at me and said, "Well, we might as well get a drink anyway." FML

#20081871
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20035) - you deserved it (1913)

On 09/21/2012 at 7:48am - love - by dateless (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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