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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found my "lost" bicycle in my best friend's garage. I've been having to catch two buses to get to work for the past few months. FML

#18029940
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27400) - you deserved it (2870)

On 10/20/2011 at 7:51am - misc - by jwhizzle - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I witnessed my mother-in-law reach into my wife's purse and practically empty it out into her pocket. When I confronted her and called my wife into the room, both of them accused me of lying through my teeth, because I've always hated her. FML

#20116821
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27396) - you deserved it (1860)

On 10/14/2012 at 4:57pm - money - by hate enough to kill... (man) - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, while driving during rush hour, I was singing so loudly that some jackass in the car next to me felt he should get my attention by throwing a wadded-up McDonald's bag through my open window, hitting me in the face with it, and telling me to shut up. FML

#20749580
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27395) - you deserved it (48965)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by authorx - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my new boss lost his shit and flew into a ten minute rant against me about the "value of respect". He told me that if I wanted to stay in "his" company, I'd best start toeing the line. All this because I corrected his misuse of "your" and "you're" in one of his memos. FML

#17794305
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27393) - you deserved it (9043)

On 09/21/2011 at 8:11am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was rear-ended. While I was yelling, "WHAT THE F..." the lady who hit me completely freaked out and drove into me again. Twice. FML

#21425087
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27394) - you deserved it (2302)

On 06/12/2015 at 5:09pm - misc - by BrakesNotBumpers (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I decided it was time to have "the talk" with my daughter, after I found a thong in the washing machine. She denied it was hers and pointed out how it was too big to fit her. I ended up having a very different talk with my son. FML

#21485867
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27392) - you deserved it (2743)

On 10/29/2015 at 4:02pm - kids - by caroline (woman) - Germany

Today, I asked my mom why she drinks. She said she only drinks when she's depressed. My step-dad said she only drinks on the weekend. Those are the days I'm at her house. FML

#17743299
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27391) - you deserved it (2621)

On 09/14/2011 at 9:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad finally met my girlfriend. Unfortunately, he was driving the ambulance that she was in, due to severe alcohol poisoning and was on the way to the hospital to have her stomach pumped. FML

#19021363
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27391) - you deserved it (7366)

On 02/07/2012 at 8:40pm - health - by screwed - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out a 6-month pregnant woman is claiming my boyfriend to be the father. Even though this would have been previous to our relationship, he already has two kids from getting girls pregnant in high school. I guess he didn't learn his lesson the first two times. FML

#13708556
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27388) - you deserved it (16044)

On 11/03/2010 at 11:16pm - love - by bummed (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realised that the most kisses I ever get are in text messages from my Dad. FML

#6812092
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27389) - you deserved it (3964)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:26pm - love - by lovesucks (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, my surgeon was giving me the lowdown of what was going to happen on the operating table. I was anxious enough without him saying stuff like "cut you open", "quite a bit of blood" and "it's all quite risky." That's all I remember before fainting. My wife won't stop mocking me for it. FML

#21359857
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27387) - you deserved it (3180)

On 02/20/2015 at 2:25pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my future mother-in-law started shit-talking me on Facebook, and we got into a heated argument. She called me later in the day, saying I'll be lucky if I ever marry her son and that, "You'll suffer to your last breath." I'm now terrified to set foot outside. FML

#18805630
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27385) - you deserved it (5810)

On 01/14/2012 at 1:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML

#8541185
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27384) - you deserved it (3152)

On 02/22/2010 at 12:44am - health - by Username - United States



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