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Today, I was working at Tim Hortons. A lady was in line, and she couldnt make up her mind. 20 minutes later she finally decided to get something, and she reached in her pocket. I was hoping it was a tip, but she gave me a coupon for a haircut. FML

#6125529
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24809) - you deserved it (2777)

On 11/02/2009 at 8:15pm - misc - by justin_99 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I had the house to ourselves. We started getting a little frisky when we discovered we out of condoms. After a quick run to the store, we found ourselves locked out of the house. Now we have condoms, but no way to use them. FML

#489
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24810) - you deserved it (16089)

On 12/10/2008 at 2:31pm - intimacy - by AudreyUs - United States (California)

Today, I was on a walk when I ran into the woman whose kids I babysit. We had a quick chat, and I noticed she had just blown her driveway clean. As I left, I said "You did a nice blow job!" FML

#14481844
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24807) - you deserved it (13109)

On 01/06/2011 at 12:57am - intimacy - by babysitter (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after three days of hospital camping with my very sick husband, he was finally out of danger when I left last night to get my first good night's sleep in almost 96 hours. He woke me at 5 a.m. with a phone call asking me to bring him comic books because he's bored. FML

#15721476
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24807) - you deserved it (10462)

On 04/10/2011 at 6:59am - health - by Frazzled (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, on my first day of work, I got fired after 45 minutes. FML

#18572874
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24805) - you deserved it (16141)

On 12/21/2011 at 7:07pm - work - by Tey - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was with my grandma in my new car. She suddenly says, "I've got to pee bad." Without giving me enough time to find a gas station, she blurts out, "Never mind, I just did." FML

#19982859
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24805) - you deserved it (1630)

On 07/25/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by arw - United States

Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML

#21426566
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24810) - you deserved it (8532)

On 06/15/2015 at 4:02pm - kids - by HttpsHaileyy - United States

Today, I finally got my wish of having snow on my birthday. Excited, I failed to realise this meant that no one could come to my party, including myself as we were all snowed out of town. What did I spend my 18th doing? Tidying our house. FML

#6881049
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24802) - you deserved it (3375)

On 12/22/2009 at 7:15am - misc - by JD300 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML

#20442898
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24802) - you deserved it (4529)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:56pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, I had a sip of my coffee and felt a lump of some kind enter my mouth. I thought it was a bit of biscuit, and then remembered I didn't have biscuits this morning with my coffee. I took it out of my mouth and it was a huge black fly. I then spat the rest of my coffee all over my laptop. FML

#8889347
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24801) - you deserved it (3945)

On 03/07/2010 at 9:08am - misc - by jess (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I was saying goodbye to my boyfriend before I got on my bus. As I turned to get on, the door closed on my face. I knocked on the door. The driver looked at me, and while still staring at me, drove off. FML

#6235277
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24796) - you deserved it (4664)

On 11/09/2009 at 9:20pm - misc - by Tee (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out I have dandruff when a chick passed by and said out loud to her friends: "That dude's hair is having an early Xmas!" FML

#10733187
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24793) - you deserved it (6258)

On 05/24/2010 at 12:14pm - health - by Dandruff - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to pee in the kitchen sink because my bathroom is being completely revamped, and the only other toilet in the house is my parents'. They refuse to let anyone use it. FML

#19032094
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24791) - you deserved it (2445)

On 02/09/2012 at 1:42am - misc - by Falcon - United States (Arizona)



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