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Today, I found my electric globe. It asks you where a state, country or city is and you would have to find it and click on it with the pen. I also found out that my parents would sneak into my room at night, take it and play 'strip-globe'. FML

by Charlotte / 01/25/2011 at 9:10am / Intimacy

Today, I received another letter of rejection from the university of my dreams. I got it the first time, but thanks for reminding me. FML

by ThreeTimesUnlucky / 10/17/2012 at 2:52pm / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was giving myself a breast exam for lumps. I heard laughing, looked around and saw that the 12 year-old neighbor and his friends were watching through the window. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2010 at 10:20pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I purposely wore a red shirt to Target just so people would talk to me. FML

by reddd / 05/10/2012 at 2:44am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML

by Crap / 07/29/2015 at 8:57pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I played a game with my boyfriend. The point of the game is to write down everything you like about someone. I put down at least ten things for him. He had one thing down for me: my boobs. FML

by Were do we go... / 04/15/2012 at 12:24am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I got fed up with the amount of hair on my feet, so I went to get my foot hair waxed off. When I removed my socks, the waxer laughed the amount of foot hair. I'm a 18 year old female and it appears I have feet that were last seen on Big Foot. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2009 at 8:30pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I couldn't get to work because I couldn't find my car keys. It turns out, my mother took them and put them "somewhere safe." She can't remember where they are. FML

by Anonymous / 11/15/2010 at 4:11am / United States (Washington) / Transportation

Today, I've been dating a girl for a year and she's only touched my penis twice. Once by accident. FML

by jobless / 01/20/2009 at 11:52am / Love

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2012 at 1:30am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, as I was crossing the slush covered street to catch the bus, I slipped and fell right in the middle of the road. A woman in a car rolled down her window. She didn't ask if I was okay but just laughed and took a picture of me covered in cold, wet slush. FML

by hopeless cluts / 01/29/2012 at 2:36am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, the couple with three noisy toddlers in the apartment above mine finally moved out. A couple with a non-stop crying newborn moved in. FML

by Username / 02/16/2012 at 6:30pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my mom thought I was flying high on weed and nearly grounded me for it. I wasn't high, I was just actually in a good mood for the first time in a few weeks. FML

by HappyMan / 08/02/2012 at 10:14pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous