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Today, I was trying to take the cap off a can of spray cooking oil. It was really stuck so I pulled extra hard. It flew off and I punched myself in the head. I also sprayed myself in the eye with it. The lump on my forehead and my swollen shut eye make me look like Popeye, but I'm a girl. FML

#8636971
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16364) - you deserved it (4388)

On 02/25/2010 at 10:18am - misc - by popeye (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to climb up and sit in a tree for half an hour to avoid being mauled by a huge, insane dog. Its weird-looking owner eventually turned up, sneered at me, and walked off with the visibly smug dog in tow. FML

#17974587
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16365) - you deserved it (1747)

On 10/13/2011 at 11:55am - animals - by Doglover - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I took my girlfriend out bowling. The place was not only packed, but on my very first attempt, I stumbled and landed flat on my "sugarbuns" about 6 feet down the lane. Everyone pointed and laughed hysterically, including my girlfriend, who was on the floor almost in tears, enjoying my pain. FML

#8479975
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16364) - you deserved it (8137)

On 02/20/2010 at 1:58pm - misc - by moobysrocks - United States

Today, the only thing that cheered me up was a documentary about IKEA, and seeing how my furniture was made. FML

#19181492
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16363) - you deserved it (3497)

On 02/28/2012 at 10:51am - misc - by sadgirl (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I got excited because a snowman I had built lasted a whole week, which is uncommon in my mild climate area. I thought myself lucky, and that my life was turning around. Then I realized how lame my whole train of thought was. FML

#8791627
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16361) - you deserved it (6871)

On 03/03/2010 at 1:10am - misc - by JoshuaRob - United States

Today, I found out that my mother is extremely emotional when it comes to animal deaths when a bird flew into the window and died, and she insisted we have a funeral. FML

#19441830
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16361) - you deserved it (2817)

On 04/10/2012 at 7:13am - animals - by tay (man) - Australia

Today, my dad started his mid-life crisis. Instead of a Porsche or a Ferrari, he bought a tractor. Goodbye summer holiday. FML

#19708636
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16358) - you deserved it (1734)

On 05/31/2012 at 6:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, while at work, I was told by a man who had literally just gotten back from his mothers funeral to cheer up, I was depressing him. FML

#9063709
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16357) - you deserved it (5054)

On 03/14/2010 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML

#12082068
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16356) - you deserved it (66348)

On 07/24/2010 at 6:53am - misc - by GirlishMan1883897 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was walking down the street with my friend, one I walk down every day, and I saw a really cute guy nearby. I felt like I looked better than usual, so I turned my head to offer a smile, and walked right into a pole. The impact was strong enough to send me falling to the floor. FML

#847714
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16354) - you deserved it (41472)

On 04/07/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by laurisshnazzy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I finally had it off. He sounds like Chewbacca when he comes. FML

#6126776
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16354) - you deserved it (3327)

On 11/02/2009 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got my sister to pluck my eyebrows. She shaped them wrong, so now I look constantly sad. FML

#11849273
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16353) - you deserved it (24976)

On 07/13/2010 at 11:02am - misc - by OhNo - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I got pulled into a conversation about my 62 year old boss's new breast implants. FML

#19354471
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16352) - you deserved it (1714)

On 03/26/2012 at 10:36pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)



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