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Today, I was at a job interview at McDonalds. All was going well until the manager told me that I'd have to remove the piercing that I have on my eyebrow. I didn't think that my mole would be so confusing. FML

#630
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26005) - you deserved it (2116)

On 12/30/2008 at 4:35am - work - by Cody - Sent from mobile version

Today, I fell into a hole. And by hole, I mean a sewer. FML

#19631196
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26005) - you deserved it (2931)

On 05/16/2012 at 6:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my toilet broke. Yesterday, the shower filled up with sludge. I have ten people coming over for Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. FML

#13961527
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26004) - you deserved it (2357)

On 11/24/2010 at 12:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML

#21432853
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26004) - you deserved it (3364)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:37pm - love - by stillhungry - United States (California)

Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML

#6691654
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26002) - you deserved it (4666)

On 12/10/2009 at 6:47am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)

Today, my boyfriend came in to kiss me. Being sweaty and nasty, I said "Not now, I'm hot and sweaty." He looked at me blankly and said "So am I, just smell my ball sweat." FML

#17611743
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26002) - you deserved it (6783)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:06am - intimacy - by hopeless-.- (woman) - United States

Today, I brought my girlfriend of six months over to meet my family. When my grandpa saw her, he said, "What a waste of good breeding stock." FML

#18236963
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25999) - you deserved it (2357)

On 11/13/2011 at 12:10pm - love - by mandie - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was cuddling with the guy I'm dating and said, "You smell good." His response, "You don't." FML

#17962903
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25995) - you deserved it (12629)

On 10/11/2011 at 9:11pm - love - by Andrew - United States (Florida)

Today, my psycho ex girlfriend got up in my face after I dumped her. She said I'm going to pay and that one day, when I think I'm safe and happy, my joy will turn to ash in my mouth. When I pointed out she'd just ripped off a Game of Thrones quote, she kneed me in the balls. FML

#21439786
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25993) - you deserved it (3678)

On 07/10/2015 at 10:42pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that my doctor lost all of my immunization records. I can't start law school without them. FML

#20442687
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25992) - you deserved it (1657)

On 01/04/2013 at 3:51pm - health - by bureaucratic assfuckery (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I fell asleep on the bus. When I woke up, my head was resting on the broad, tanned shoulder of the smoking hot guy sitting next to me. I had drooled a little. FML

#19780908
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25990) - you deserved it (4703)

On 06/13/2012 at 5:08am - misc - by pandora (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I sent my long-distance boyfriend a heartfelt message about how much I missed him. He sent me back a picture of a Minion. FML

#21442865
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25988) - you deserved it (3464)

On 07/17/2015 at 3:04am - love - by anon - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for an answer, seeing as how she's keeping a dildo on her nightstand and is clearly waiting for me to fall asleep. FML

#21456687
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25998) - you deserved it (2833)

On 08/16/2015 at 11:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) -



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