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Today, while getting on the subway, I tripped over the gap between the train and the platform. My flip-flop caught on the edge, and fell into the gap. I had to walk home with one flip-flop. FML

#12833502
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22137) - you deserved it (8593)

On 08/31/2010 at 2:14am - misc - by grossfoot (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realised that I've been deployed for far too long, when I caught myself looking down the cleavage of a mannequin wearing a bathing suit. FML

#19678152
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22136) - you deserved it (2634)

On 05/25/2012 at 12:03pm - misc - by Lonely_Army (man) - Qatar

Today, I am spending new year absolutely alone. My girlfriend canceled our plans the day before so she could spend it with alcohol and strangers. Somehow, I still love her. FML

#762
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22135) - you deserved it (9452)

On 12/30/2008 at 8:36pm - love - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, as I was buying carrots, a little red light started flashing and an alarm sounded. Curious, I looked up, only to get sprayed in the face by a sprinkler for the produce section of the store. FML

#11991356
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22135) - you deserved it (8603)

On 07/19/2010 at 10:06pm - misc - by PrintMaster - United States

Today, I pulled one of my favorite hoodies out of my closet, and immediately noticed several large stains on it. Apparently, my dad had managed to open a hole in the roof and couldn't be bothered to patch it, so a squirrel got in and used my closet as a litter box. FML

#17778916
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22137) - you deserved it (1844)

On 09/19/2011 at 6:16am - animals - by gs - United States (New York)

Today, my husband invited his boss and his wife to dinner. During the meal, I tasted the wine and apologised for its bad quality, somewhat annoyed: "Dont drink that, I'll go and look for another bottle." Unfortunately, it was our guests who had brought the wine in question. FML

#416
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22134) - you deserved it (9156)

On 11/29/2008 at 11:11am - misc - by Buzz - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out we have new neighbors in our apartment complex that park in the stall next to our truck. Turns out their car is the same make of our truck. And it also turns out that when I unlock our truck it will set off their car alarm - every time. FML

#18942006
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22130) - you deserved it (1689)

On 01/29/2012 at 11:00am - misc - by delamer (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML

#7330766
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22125) - you deserved it (3966)

On 01/13/2010 at 11:27pm - love - by meow (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was chatting with my girlfriend and I asked her to give me her phone to make a call since mine was dead. A text came in from someone and the name sounded familiar. My bestfriend has been dating my girlfriend longer than I have, and she gave him head. I kissed her earlier that day. FML

#7350997
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22122) - you deserved it (2714)

On 01/15/2010 at 12:02am - intimacy - by vadoodoo22 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had my blood drawn for a lab test. I was then given a container so I could give a urine sample. In the middle of peeing, I got woozy, started blacking out, and hit my head against the wall. A nurse discovered me with my pants down. FML

Today, my nitwit son infected our family computer with some sort of mad bastard virus after getting fooled by the promise of some non-existent Hannah Montana nudes. FML

#20076697
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22121) - you deserved it (2624)

On 09/17/2012 at 7:25pm - kids - by StupidBerk (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend got engaged to a co-worker. I got her the job. FML

#19025150
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22119) - you deserved it (3574)

On 02/08/2012 at 8:08am - love - by D-Man (man) - United States

Today, while I was shopping at a store with my friend, I noticed a cute girl smiling at us. My friend said "She's all yours," and walked away. When I approached her, she asked me if my friend was single. FML

#20035629
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22119) - you deserved it (1642)

On 08/22/2012 at 12:57pm - misc - by ZAS (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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