Choose the period

Choose a category

Today, my husband is sulking because he "can't" have sex with me. I've tried initiating things multiple times, but he keeps saying no, because I'm pregnant and he says it'd be exactly the same as having sex with his own kid. FML

by sigh / 11/07/2015 at 12:39am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, my boss is being so cheap, he'd rather type in the dark, not fix our water heater or replace our cordless phone because he will not get his bonus if he goes over the budget. FML

by blahmylife / 12/15/2010 at 11:16am / United States (Iowa) / Work

Today, I decided to to gather up the courage to ask the cute boy in my math class for his number. He gave it to me, and I texted him later that night. But little did I know he actually gave me the number of the creep in class who is always grabbing my ass. I ended up asking the creep out. FML

by thisiswhyimsingle / 09/14/2015 at 1:17am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, while at the gym, I noticed a foul smell while on elliptical machine. I figured it was the little old lady on the machine next to me. It was so bad I had to leave. When I got in my truck, I realized the smell had followed me. It was me. My cat had pissed on my workout clothes. FML

by cdubb27 / 10/11/2010 at 2:00am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I knocked an old-school slide carousel off my desk, scattering nearly 100 individual slides everywhere, including the specific slides my professor asked me to digitally scan, which were placed carefully on top. None of them are numbered. FML

by Anonymous / 11/20/2014 at 6:59pm / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, my brother changed my Google+ name without asking. He has done this before and I fixed it by just changing it back. Turns out Google has a 3-time limit per year for how many times you can change your name. Now I'm stuck with "Poop" for my YouTube name for a year. FML

by KittKatt / 05/20/2015 at 1:34am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call from my manager saying that I won't need to work this weekend. Too bad I already cancelled a family vacation because he threatened to fire me if I didn't work this weekend. FML

by Pizzaguy / 08/02/2012 at 12:22pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I found out my anti-depressants are super-effective. So effective, they affect things they aren't even supposed to. Like my ability to pee. FML

by full bladder / 04/28/2015 at 6:39pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I heard on the news that the average debt one is in when they graduate college is $24,000. I've been in college for one year and my debt is already $20,000. And it turns out that my school's accreditation does not exist like I was told. $20,000 in debt and no college credits to show for it. FML

by krissysays / 10/24/2010 at 10:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Money

Today, my new prescription medicine for my chronic acne did in fact work. It worked by inflaming the skin around my zits so that they blended in. FML

by Anonymous / 05/11/2015 at 11:02pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realised that the most kisses I ever get are in text messages from my Dad. FML

by lovesucks / 12/18/2009 at 3:26pm / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Love

Today, the person I've been sharing my most intimate feelings with finally got bored and let me know I've been texting the wrong number for weeks. FML

by john / 05/04/2012 at 3:14pm / United Kingdom (Reading) / Love

Today, I found out that the nickname my friend has been calling me in Japanese for the past year is the word for "Idiot". FML

by Anonymous / 04/05/2015 at 11:31pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous