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Today, I went bowling with some friends. After a few beers I was showing off spinning the ball around on the tip of my finger. One trip to the ER and two crushed nuts later, I've found that mixing alcohol and heavy shiny balls is not a good idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7354) - you deserved it (33931)
On 05/17/2011 at 12:28am - intimacy - by paulwatson93 (man) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, and every day, a homeless looking man walks into my work, sits down and stares. I'm new to the job so, trying to make new friends, when the guy walked in this time, I went over to a co worker I was really clicking with, and went off about how creepy he was. He replied with "Who, my dad?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (7348) - you deserved it (23589)
On 09/30/2010 at 4:19am - work - by simply2010 (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, my mom found a pack of cigarettes in my pocket. She hates smoking, so she tore every single cigarette to pieces, then emptied a bag of kitty litter on them. On my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7347) - you deserved it (43315)
On 01/11/2010 at 2:23am - health - by alexbobalex (woman) - Aland Islands
Today, I fainted and woke up in a hospital. My mom drove me to the emergency room. The doctor said I had a panic attack. What did I have a panic attack from? Bidding on ebay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7345) - you deserved it (19001)
On 12/11/2009 at 8:31pm - misc - by graospe (woman) - United States (California)
Today, a guy asked me why I'm single. As a joke, I told him that not only do I have a penis, but that it's so large that most men are intimidated by it. He wasn't impressed. And I actually wonder why I'm single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7343) - you deserved it (17616)
On 04/13/2012 at 9:11am - intimacy - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom (York)
Today, it was my first day as a vacuum salesman. While I was demonstrating how well it removed stains, I managed to smear stuff over the area I was cleaning. So not only was I unsuccessful in removing the original stains, I left them with worse carpet than when I got there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7342) - you deserved it (15686)
On 12/07/2011 at 9:29am - work - by JB - United States
Today, I called security at my school because I left my mittens in a classroom and it was locked. When the security officer showed up, he asked if the mittens I was looking for were the ones on my hands. I even had to take one of them off to call them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7342) - you deserved it (40947)
On 02/05/2013 at 12:24am - misc - by swarm20 - United States (Minnesota)
Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7340) - you deserved it (32210)
On 06/16/2011 at 9:39pm - health - by Hopslammer (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was stopped by a cop while walking down the street. He was slowly trailing me before pulling along side of me and asking how my night was going. He then said, "You know I can't let you do this. Know those new jeans you bought? The sticker is still on the leg" and drove off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7337) - you deserved it (23697)
On 10/06/2009 at 3:12am - misc - by limecat (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my new iPhone was stolen from my school locker. After canceling my service, sobbing, having my mom yell at the secretary for their lack of security and finally agreeing to change to a private school, I found it in the corner of my locker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7336) - you deserved it (55349)
On 06/09/2011 at 7:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was late for work and got chewed out by my boss. To console myself I decided to drink a cup of coffee and a cup of tea. My work provides this for free. When I did, my boss told me that in fact it wasn't, nor has it ever been, free; all this time I've been stealing other people's coffee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7335) - you deserved it (19050)
On 11/12/2010 at 7:07am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Hallands Lan)
Today, my partner and I were informed by the man we had a three-way with, the first one after having finally screwed up the courage to do it, that he has mono. I don't feel so good. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7334) - you deserved it (23915)
On 01/16/2009 at 8:36am - intimacy - by fd - United States (Alabama)
Today, I pulled up to the stoplight near my house. It was dark with no traffic and the car behind me kept edging closer and closer to me. I finally got fed up with waiting and the car and ran it. In fact, it was a cop and he was trying to read my license plate because the back light was out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7334) - you deserved it (37068)
On 06/01/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by PulledOver (woman) - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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