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Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML

#11859279
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26017) - you deserved it (42699)

On 07/13/2010 at 8:33pm - intimacy - by allalone - United States (Georgia)

Today, for the second day in a row, I was constantly abused, yelled at, insulted, and berated by my wife for "endangering our child's life." I took her to the doctor for a vaccination and flu shot yesterday. FML

#20121390
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26016) - you deserved it (3586)

On 10/17/2012 at 6:58pm - love - by DrugsRX (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML

#2987164
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26014) - you deserved it (113922)

On 06/18/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML

#20462817
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26010) - you deserved it (4021)

On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after spending hours putting up our tree and decorating it, it fell over and shattered the glass ornaments. FML

#18359248
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26009) - you deserved it (4337)

On 11/26/2011 at 7:12pm - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I was waiting after work in a parking lot for my ride and was dancing a little to keep warm. Next thing I know the cops pull up to me and said that someone called in to report someone dancing in an empty parking lot. FML

#4312
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26006) - you deserved it (2806)

On 01/31/2009 at 7:01pm - misc - by HumanNature - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I fell into a hole. And by hole, I mean a sewer. FML

#19631196
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26005) - you deserved it (2931)

On 05/16/2012 at 6:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my toilet broke. Yesterday, the shower filled up with sludge. I have ten people coming over for Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. FML

#13961527
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26004) - you deserved it (2357)

On 11/24/2010 at 12:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML

#21432853
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26004) - you deserved it (3364)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:37pm - love - by stillhungry - United States (California)

Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML

#6691654
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26002) - you deserved it (4666)

On 12/10/2009 at 6:47am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)

Today, my boyfriend came in to kiss me. Being sweaty and nasty, I said "Not now, I'm hot and sweaty." He looked at me blankly and said "So am I, just smell my ball sweat." FML

#17611743
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26002) - you deserved it (6783)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:06am - intimacy - by hopeless-.- (woman) - United States

Today, I brought my girlfriend of six months over to meet my family. When my grandpa saw her, he said, "What a waste of good breeding stock." FML

#18236963
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25999) - you deserved it (2357)

On 11/13/2011 at 12:10pm - love - by mandie - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was cuddling with the guy I'm dating and said, "You smell good." His response, "You don't." FML

#17962903
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25995) - you deserved it (12629)

On 10/11/2011 at 9:11pm - love - by Andrew - United States (Florida)



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