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Today, it's my birthday. I've been dropping strong hints all year about wanting to learn to tap-dance, hoping for some decent tap shoes. Instead, I got a beekeepers outfit and some furry dice to hang on my wreck of a car's rear-view mirror. FML

#17619840
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20546) - you deserved it (3488)

On 08/30/2011 at 8:16am - misc - by wtf (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, for an eight hour flight to Copenhagen, Denmark, I paid extra to get a seat offering more leg room. Unfortunately, the man behind me was so tall, his knees were pressing against my back the entire flight. FML

#14600562
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20544) - you deserved it (3258)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:17pm - money - by jetlagged (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I was swimming with my friends at the local pool. My friend pushed me under, and as I came up for air, my hand stroked a hairy leg. It turns out I had caressed the leg of an old man who had been swimming laps. He spent the next half hour creepily smiling at me. FML

Today, I was walking down the street and I saw my brother on the other side of the road. He lives overseas and always told me he would visit when I least expected it. When I saw him, I got so excited I jumped on his back, screaming his name. It wasn't my brother. FML

#972350
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20540) - you deserved it (55803)

On 04/14/2009 at 3:12pm - misc - by getslostinherownhouse (woman) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, my mother-in-law moved in because she has a hip problem. I don't know what's worse, her constant complaining and slob like tendencies, or the eight cats she brought along with her. FML

#20154544
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20539) - you deserved it (1679)

On 11/08/2012 at 12:43am - misc - by David (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to work as a home health-aid, and found out that my client turns his hearing aid off on purpose because he can't stand my voice. FML

#17948621
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20536) - you deserved it (4190)

On 10/10/2011 at 12:13am - work - by melikeyturtles - United States

Today, I paid a surprise visit to my parents, after having moved out for university last year. My room had been stripped bare and all the family photos featuring me were missing from the wall. When I asked why, my mom asked me in return why I was asking stupid questions. FML

#20156480
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20536) - you deserved it (1778)

On 11/09/2012 at 5:03pm - kids - by jan420 (man) - Norway (Ostfold)

Today, my parents asked if I wanted to go to military school so i said "yeah that would be awesome," thinking it was a joke. They weren't joking. FML

#919776
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20533) - you deserved it (39058)

On 04/11/2009 at 10:44pm - misc - by AlienZ (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had a conference with my dad, my counselor, and my history and English teachers because my dad was "concerned" about my grades in those two classes. We talked for a while and it was going well, then my counselor asked what I wanted to study in college. I said I wanted to be a teacher. He laughed. FML

#13042004
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20533) - you deserved it (4060)

On 09/13/2010 at 10:56pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked into my room in only a towel. I walked in front of my brother to get to my computer. He said, "My webcam is on." I replied smartly by screaming, hugging the towel tightly to me, turning, and running straight into the glass door, dropping the towel. His friends saw and laughed. FML

#6821061
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20532) - you deserved it (13275)

On 12/19/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by GlassPwn (woman) - United States

Today, before leaving my house, I OCD-checked all of my doors 16 times to make sure that they were locked. When I got home, my house had been broken into. Turns out I accidentally unlocked my front door when trying to lock it for the last time. This is why I have OCD. FML

#20141026
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20530) - you deserved it (9163)

On 10/30/2012 at 11:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my hours got cut because I couldn't make it into work when they called me in. Why couldn't I make it in? I was in an interview for a better job. I didn't get the job. FML

#12665553
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20529) - you deserved it (16301)

On 08/21/2010 at 3:20pm - misc - by thyella87 - United States (Texas)

Today, my father decided that since he's paying for my flat, he will use it twice a week to have it off with his girlfriend while I'm away. My parents are still together. FML

#6081535
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20524) - you deserved it (1957)

On 10/31/2009 at 8:54am - intimacy - by franzbiel (man) - Switzerland (Luzern)



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