Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my roommate asked me to lock the door as we left our place. I told her to use my keys, because my hands were full. Afterwards, she and her boyfriend set off out of town for the next couple of days. She forgot to give me back my keys. FML

#14264681
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21728) - you deserved it (4984)

On 12/19/2010 at 9:26pm - misc - by me (woman) - Bulgaria

Today, my car was towed for the second time in front of my own house. They tried to tell me it was because they didn't think I lived there anymore. The person who had it towed had just spoken to me not three hours before. FML

#20047754
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21728) - you deserved it (1337)

On 08/29/2012 at 11:01am - money - by drixxy - United States (California)

Today, I was called into my 17-year-old son's high school. Why? Because it was Wednesday, also known as "Hump Day" and his friends managed to convince him that you're supposed to go around and hump people. FML

#20079735
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21729) - you deserved it (2533)

On 09/19/2012 at 7:33pm - kids - by Judy - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my neighbors left for their nine month excursion, and armed their security system. One of the features is a loud series of three beeps every three seconds, 24 hours a day. I can hear it, clear as a bell, throughout my entire house. FML

#20119554
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21728) - you deserved it (1268)

On 10/16/2012 at 12:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the clerk at Walmart asked me if the stretch mark cream I was buying was for my wife. I wish I could've said yes. FML

#17860948
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21726) - you deserved it (3689)

On 09/29/2011 at 1:01am - health - by random0605 - United States (Utah)

Today, I asked my best friend if he would do me the honour of becoming my son's godfather. He replied, "Um, that's just rude. You know I'm an atheist." Huh? FML

#19989164
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21724) - you deserved it (7534)

On 07/28/2012 at 2:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my parents are freaking at me because I just got my report and I failed my first year of college. They told me they have never been more disappointed in me. I have to tell them that I'm also pregnant. FML

#3800582
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21722) - you deserved it (93468)

On 07/16/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by failure - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I was chatting to my brother on Skype. Out of the blue, and just as I read the punchline to a hilarious joke, he said his girlfriend had been cheating on him. I couldn't stifle my side-splitting laughter, and he's been ignoring my calls since. FML

#19205582
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21722) - you deserved it (8748)

On 03/02/2012 at 10:05pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my roommate let me know he "bumped" another car with mine. What he really meant was that I need a new rear quarter panel and the very angry BMW driver he hit has all of my information. FML

#13061135
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21722) - you deserved it (3374)

On 09/15/2010 at 12:52pm - misc - by Ah piss - United States (New York)

Today, I went over to my neighbours' to politely complain about their dog, which had been barking non-stop for hours. This issue has been going on for months, and I finally decided today, of all days, was the day to resolve it. When I got there, they'd just got home from giving birth at the hospital. FML

#18959581
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21721) - you deserved it (3348)

On 01/31/2012 at 8:13am - misc - by Lentil (woman) - Australia

Today, the highlight of my day was that I could afford name-brand ketchup. FML

#20008728
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21719) - you deserved it (2398)

On 08/08/2012 at 12:19am - money - by Heinz (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a family funeral. Talking to my grandfather, trying the make chitchat, he says "You're gaining weight, aren't you?" FML

#8683563
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21718) - you deserved it (3798)

On 02/27/2010 at 5:15am - misc - by livvlynette (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I put the little boy I nanny for in time-out. In retaliation he blasted an air horn in my face. I can only hear out of one ear now. FML

#19769607
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21718) - you deserved it (2749)

On 06/11/2012 at 7:18am - kids - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: