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Today, I went to the mall with some friends. We all kept smelling this god awful B.O. smell and had no idea where it was coming from. On the car ride home, we all figured out it was actually me. FML

#21347237
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24872) - you deserved it (10032)

On 01/31/2015 at 10:13am - kids - by cooploops - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at taekwondo practice. I discreetly called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear". He did this in front of all my classmates. FML

#8823519
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24870) - you deserved it (2526)

On 03/04/2010 at 1:52pm - health - by GoDiarrhea (woman) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today, I told my husband that I wanted to take advantage of the alone time we would have while our kids are visiting my parents. My idea? A nice dinner out and kinky sex all night long. His idea? Chinese buffet and subsequent dutch ovens in bed. FML

#13938957
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24868) - you deserved it (3515)

On 11/22/2010 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized it is now considered normal and routine that my boyfriend wets the bed after a night of drinking. FML

#13446090
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24869) - you deserved it (4486)

On 10/14/2010 at 2:20pm - misc - by Casey - United States (California)

Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML

#20484695
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24868) - you deserved it (9198)

On 01/29/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was working as a clown (Pennywise) in a haunted maze. A bunch of drunk guys came in and started breaking props. I decided to stay still and follow through with the scare. I ended up getting kicked in a very sensitive area. The security guard just laughed. FML

#7899176
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24867) - you deserved it (3938)

On 02/05/2010 at 3:23am - work - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got denied a job. They told me I was unreliable because I didn't show up for my third interview. This is the same interview they called and cancelled this morning. FML

#19025988
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24867) - you deserved it (1671)

On 02/08/2012 at 11:53am - work - by abrooks88 - United States

Today, I was locked out of my house and had to pee. I waited an hour for my boyfriend to come home. When I saw him pull into the driveway, I peed myself in excitement. FML

#19240450
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24866) - you deserved it (6642)

On 03/08/2012 at 5:23pm - misc - by shelly - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML

#20058507
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24866) - you deserved it (4837)

On 09/05/2012 at 4:14am - love - by steve (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML

#21426566
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24868) - you deserved it (8545)

On 06/15/2015 at 4:02pm - kids - by HttpsHaileyy - United States

Today, I underwent surgery and feeling rather groggy upon being awoken, I very loudly declared, "I've always had a thing for doctors. Kiss me?" then promptly giggled, tried to launch myself in a random doctor's arms and fell flat on my face. FML

#21425055
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24863) - you deserved it (4146)

On 06/12/2015 at 3:43pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I came home from a vacation. It had snowed, so I decided to shovel the front walk. While shoveling, I found a dead skunk frozen solid on the sidewalk. I tried to pick it up with my shovel, but it stuck. It won't move 'til the ice melts. FML

#14830455
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24861) - you deserved it (2828)

On 02/03/2011 at 7:59pm - misc - by theyreallydosmell -

Today, I had a dream that I was making pancakes. I need to get out more. FML

#21373068
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24862) - you deserved it (4208)

On 03/12/2015 at 9:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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