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Today, I was at the gym and saw an old friend. I have put on a lot of muscle in the past few months, and she said to me "Wow, you've really gotten big." Just by habit I said "You too." Turns out she's gained 45 lbs since I'd last seen her. Oops. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7305) - you deserved it (18840)
On 02/04/2010 at 2:22am - health - by Tuffgunsmoke - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was performing in an orchestra concert. My stand partner and I commented on people in the audience the whole time, saying how fat they were, etc. Towards the end of the concert, I realized we were sitting right by a microphone, and the whole audience could hear us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7299) - you deserved it (82954)
On 06/04/2009 at 7:35am - misc - by anon (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I noticed a prospective employer I had been networking with changed her last name on her e-mail signature. I wished the aquaintence congratulations on her new marriage. Her divorce was finalized this week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7297) - you deserved it (15398)
On 02/06/2009 at 5:40pm - misc - by unlucky (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, a guy in a fancy car tailed me for twenty minutes, just so he could take a picture of my license plate and tell me there's a $300 fine for flicking cigarette ashes out your window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7297) - you deserved it (17113)
Today, I read some funny scribblings on a wall in the bathroom stall. My first instinct was to "Like" it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7297) - you deserved it (19087)
On 02/04/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by WayTooMuchFacebook (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I sent a christmas card to my husband's uncle and aunt. I'd forgotten that the uncle died last year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7297) - you deserved it (22404)
On 12/20/2009 at 6:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)
Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7295) - you deserved it (49873)
On 02/16/2009 at 7:24pm - misc - by lunarboy (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, while driving home with my boyfriend, we started discussing how clean our driving records were. I was boasting about how I'd never been in an accident when I hit a moose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7292) - you deserved it (20900)
On 12/08/2010 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my family made a fake boyfriend for me on Facebook, since it's been so long since I had one. I accepted the relationship request to try and trick people into thinking I actually had a boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7292) - you deserved it (20502)
On 03/02/2012 at 12:35am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went outside for a cigarette since I don't like smoking in the house. When I was done, I stomped it out. I wasn't wearing shoes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7291) - you deserved it (43978)
On 11/19/2011 at 7:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, as I left class I felt a tug on my rucksack from behind. Thinking it was just someone deliberately dragging me back, I struggled to let myself free and shouted "Let go!". I looked over my shoulder just to find that one the straps was trapped in the doorhandle. Everyone was in hysterics. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7290) - you deserved it (2641)
On 11/19/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by betamaxjim (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)
Today, while having a screaming argument with my son in our front yard, I suddenly realized we are "that white trash family" in the neighborhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7289) - you deserved it (24665)
On 08/29/2011 at 9:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)
Today, I was driving down a highway during rush-hour. I heard my phone ring and couldn't find it. I bent down to feel around for it and got in an accident and totaled my car. The ringing? A commercial on the radio. Where was my phone? On my dresser at home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7288) - you deserved it (55792)
On 12/01/2009 at 5:48pm - misc - by horribledriver (man) - United States (Arizona)
Monday 20 May 2013
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