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Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML

#17936409
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20385) - you deserved it (15814)

On 10/08/2011 at 4:40pm - health - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized that the only time I've ever been noticed by my classmates is when I brought cake for the potluck. FML

#14133320
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20386) - you deserved it (2817)

On 12/08/2010 at 4:55pm - misc - by Invisible - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a run. Going a decent pace, I passed a woman walking her dog. I joked, "C'mon! Keep up!" Thirty feet later I stepped in mud, rolled my ankle and fell. The woman walked by as I lay in agony, and told me to keep up. FML

#20634623
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20381) - you deserved it (69044)

On 05/01/2013 at 10:27am - misc - by luvs2spooge89 - United States (New York)

Today, the only card I got for Valentine's Day was in my mother's handwriting, and she posted it through the front door herself. She still won't admit it's from her. FML

#19072071
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20380) - you deserved it (2323)

On 02/14/2012 at 6:56am - love - by ThanksMum (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, on the way home from a night out, I crossed the main road in my town via the traffic lights. As I got to the other side, a guy turned to his two friends and 'whispered' with a look of disgust, "I would have run that one over." Thanks. FML

#8580880
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20379) - you deserved it (2245)

On 02/23/2010 at 3:05am - misc - by thetallone (woman) - United Kingdom (Blackpool)

Today, I added "a road sign" to my ever-growing list of 'Things which have hit my car as a result of the wind.' FML

#18465867
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20379) - you deserved it (2711)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:05am - misc - by it'sabitwindy - United States

Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to try to serenade me by throwing rocks at my window and singing a song about how much he loves me. This would have been extremely sweet if he would have gotten my window instead of my dad's. FML

#20050638
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20376) - you deserved it (1935)

On 08/31/2012 at 6:16am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday and my mom promised me she'd buy me a car. She came home with a toy lego car. FML

#8169193
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20372) - you deserved it (18256)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:24pm - misc - by RaceCar (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I walked all the way across campus to eat the first meal I've had all day. After waiting for my food in a congested line for 30 minutes, I got to the register to pay. Turns out my wallet was a twenty minute walk away, back in my apartment. FML

#19051047
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20372) - you deserved it (6520)

On 02/11/2012 at 7:53pm - money - by ulring - United States

Today, my boyfriend was complaining about how we never see the movies he wants to see. So I took him to the movies, and he picked which one. Then he fell asleep. FML

#19433649
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20372) - you deserved it (2300)

On 04/08/2012 at 11:29pm - love - by Stinky. - United States (Illinois)

Today, I received a text from my dad, which was borderline-incomprehensible due to an insane amount of text language. I replied, jokingly asked if he had a stroke while writing it. A few seconds after hitting send, I remembered the stroke he suffered last month. FML

#20777593
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20365) - you deserved it (49407)

On 07/12/2013 at 12:35pm - misc - by hellbound (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the pharmacy and asked the very attractive pharmacist what to do about the terrible itching under my cast. She told me to be a man and deal with it. FML

#8797696
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20364) - you deserved it (7090)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:46am - health - by brokenarm (man) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, I went to a "party" with the boy whom I am interested in. It was the first time I met his friends. Turns out he and all his friends are hardcore Christians who don't drink and are celibate. FML

#2383
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20364) - you deserved it (9643)

On 01/23/2009 at 8:03pm - love - by Durrrrrr - Canada (Ontario)



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