Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I'm spending time with my granny, with whom I'm supposed to live with for a few weeks. I've noticed that she repeats the last word of every sentence I say, and now I'm wondering how it's possible for me to now be so horrible that I want to punch a sweet 92-year-old lady in the head. FML

#18387979
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23978) - you deserved it (5124)

On 11/29/2011 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, a little girl from my Sunday School class approached me and told me she had a stomach ache. She seemed very upset and her face was discolored so I took her to the nurse. While we were walking out the door, I looked down and saw a half-eaten crayon on the floor. That'll do it. FML

#21392424
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23979) - you deserved it (1876)

On 04/12/2015 at 3:49pm - health - by drewcaver - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the beach with my boyfriend in Key West. I had gotten a bikini wax and new swimsuit for the occasion. My boyfriend was being romantic until he pulled a long hair from a mole on my leg. It's all fun and games until the mole starts bleeding, profusely. FML

#8510516
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23977) - you deserved it (3933)

On 02/21/2010 at 7:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the doctor's for the third time in a week for a huge growth under my jaw. I have seen an urgent care doctor, an emergency room doctor and an ear, nose and throat specialist who all gave me different diagnoses. I've so far spent $300. FML

#13520116
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23975) - you deserved it (2678)

On 10/20/2010 at 12:41am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while pulling into my driveway, I slightly bumped into something. My wife. I'll be sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

#18474194
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23974) - you deserved it (18664)

On 12/10/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by godhatesme (man) - United States

Today, I found out that I have to reschedule my upcoming honeymoon because my office will be understaffed that week, due to the boss going on vacation right after my wedding. Oh, yeah, and he's in my bridal party. FML

#14738244
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23973) - you deserved it (2287)

On 01/27/2011 at 11:24pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I met my new roommate. She severely struggled with pronouncing my name, and decided that to save time and the effort, she's just going to call me what she thinks my name sounds like: Lube. FML

#17379183
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23973) - you deserved it (2913)

On 08/05/2011 at 4:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found thousands of ants in a secret nest in an unused corner of my apartment. They were feeding on the baking mix I forgot in a box from moving two months ago, and the queen has been laying her eggs on my wireless router. FML

#17710683
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23972) - you deserved it (14373)

On 09/10/2011 at 11:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I checked my university financial account to discover I owed them over $1000. The reason? They had apparently given me too much money when I applied for a loan and now want it back. Oh, and I spent my loan money on books and a laptop for school. FML

#7604167
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23971) - you deserved it (2834)

On 01/27/2010 at 12:25am - money - by boned (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I didn't even bother to turn my cellphone off in a movie theater because I knew no one would text me or call. FML

#19661266
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23971) - you deserved it (4164)

On 05/22/2012 at 7:02am - misc - by Rick - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I blushed when a fortune cookie said "You have the attitude of a winner." My self esteem is so low. FML

#18844596
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23970) - you deserved it (4365)

On 01/18/2012 at 2:41pm - misc - by FML - United States (Texas)

Today, I was awoken by my wife, once again. It seems that whenever I stop snoring, she thinks I died so she has to wake me to make sure I'm still living. She does this almost every night, every hour. FML

#18603475
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23971) - you deserved it (3359)

On 12/25/2011 at 12:27am - health - by Sleep Deprived (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I couldn't shut a drawer in my kitchen, because an oven mitt was blocking it. An oven mitt filled with tin-foil wrapped electronics. My Mom believes Internet hackers can get into her digital camera and prepaid cell phone, and apparently tin-foil will prevent that. FML

#17102276
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23971) - you deserved it (1989)

On 07/14/2011 at 12:50am - misc - by BelleCharmante (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2: School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: