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Today, I was trying to relieve a dog that looked like it was choking because it was tied to a pole while its owner was in a restaurant. The owner called a security guard because she was convinced I was trying to steal her dog. FML

#13162058
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20811) - you deserved it (4111)

On 09/22/2010 at 9:25pm - animals - by Hilary - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML

#13340119
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20809) - you deserved it (7497)

On 10/06/2010 at 5:31am - love - by fireman (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML

#2804
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20809) - you deserved it (2171)

On 01/27/2009 at 9:23am - misc - by impatient amy - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was walking through my house when I noticed bits of plaster falling from the ceiling. Against all logic, I looked up, receiving a fragment directly in the eyeball. FML

#18336172
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20808) - you deserved it (8974)

On 11/24/2011 at 11:06am - misc - by swirkishly - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML

#20039589
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20808) - you deserved it (3091)

On 08/24/2012 at 5:00pm - love - by OMFG I LOVE MLP - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I went on a date with my really attractive neighbor, and at the end, when I leaned in to make out with her, she shook my hand. FML

#3670
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20807) - you deserved it (5235)

On 01/30/2009 at 9:42am - love - by anonymous neighbor - United States (New York)

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

#19511225
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20807) - you deserved it (2237)

On 04/22/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband told me that occasionally I pick my nose while I sleep. I didn't believe him so he showed me the video he took of it. He wants to post it on Facebook. FML

#19995801
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20805) - you deserved it (2796)

On 08/01/2012 at 1:44am - misc - by Emily (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that the only reason my boyfriend got a job was so that he could buy weed. FML

#19898504
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20804) - you deserved it (6296)

On 07/06/2012 at 1:46am - misc - by hopeless (woman) - United States

Today, after discussing the side-effects of an insomnia aid, my doctor said that making a choice was naturally a difficult one, and that he would only prescribe it to me once I'd had "a good, long sleep on it". He then laughed out loud and called in the next patient. FML

#13616932
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20803) - you deserved it (2400)

On 10/27/2010 at 5:58pm - misc - by royalscenery (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband decided to be helpful and do all the laundry, including pre-treating all the stains. He felt that Clorox Clean-Up with Bleach would be the most effective. FML

#8374594
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20802) - you deserved it (3272)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was apparently tired enough to spray silly string under my armpits rather than deodorant. FML

#18920760
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20802) - you deserved it (6160)

On 01/26/2012 at 10:22pm - misc - by ParkerRommel (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend used my love handles as ACTUAL love handles. FML

#13431073
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20800) - you deserved it (18124)

On 10/13/2010 at 4:36am - intimacy - by Abused (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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