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Today, I went on a date with a guy I met on-line. While cuddling on the couch, he asked me for a blow job. I refused. He said, "But I thought big girls liked doing that." FML

#7390667
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21292) - you deserved it (5439)

On 01/17/2010 at 12:30am - intimacy - by writer4life (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a dream that I was 25, unemployed, living with my parents, and still completely in love with someone who no longer feels the same way about me. Oh wait... it wasn't a dream. FML

#1809
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21285) - you deserved it (5661)

On 01/19/2009 at 11:23pm - misc - by HeadTrauma - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I hit my boss's car. It's only my second day on the job. FML

#14230878
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21285) - you deserved it (9101)

On 12/17/2010 at 12:14am - work - by iswearicandrive (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I woke up at midnight crying, stood up to turn on the lights and face-planted into my wall. FML

#18642505
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21280) - you deserved it (4308)

On 12/29/2011 at 7:01am - health - by Girl-of-very-little-brain (woman) - Canada

Today, I let a friend borrow a power saw. When I found it on my porch later, the blade was missing and the cord was cut. Looking closer, I realized it was his saw. He kept my new one. He totally denies that he switched them and now won't answer his door. FML

#20128630
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21279) - you deserved it (1880)

On 10/22/2012 at 6:34pm - misc - by petra84 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I received the "employee of the month" title from the job I was fired from last week. FML

#20059608
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21278) - you deserved it (1464)

On 09/05/2012 at 10:02pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over for a family brunch, during which he told my mother, in vivid detail, how he gets the shits whenever he eats kale chips. FML

#20483441
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21275) - you deserved it (2603)

On 01/28/2013 at 6:02pm - health - by shitty situation - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML

#10675411
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21272) - you deserved it (11008)

On 05/21/2010 at 8:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I got a brand new couch. My husband told me to keep our puppy off of it so we could keep it nice. She jumped on it, and as I picked her up to put her back on the floor, her claws dragged across it and ripped 2 of the cushions. FML

#13050784
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21270) - you deserved it (8650)

On 09/14/2010 at 5:46pm - misc - by miss Suzanne - United States (New York)

Today, after having loaned my girlfriend money after she claimed to be broke and unable to pay her rent and electricity bills, she went out, spent it all on a new purse and phone, and now refuses to pay me back. FML

#20123887
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21269) - you deserved it (5844)

On 10/19/2012 at 1:05pm - money - by asparagus piss (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while shopping for a pair of shoes, I saw a pair I really liked lying around, so I sat down to try them on. Then, a man came up to me and pointed out that they were actually his shoes. FML

#407
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21265) - you deserved it (5223)

On 11/28/2008 at 5:28am - misc - by Gregory - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered my boyfriend's family approves of me, not because I'm friendly and intelligent, but because I'm an adequate addition to their gene pool. FML

#13458555
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21265) - you deserved it (3843)

On 10/15/2010 at 12:40pm - misc - by nick92 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, because I have a beach party tomorrow, I used a new gel that is supposed to prevent razor burn after shaving the bikini line. Turns out I'm highly allergic to the gel. Now I have hundreds of beautiful red bumps that look like razor burn. FML

#12989676
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21262) - you deserved it (3834)

On 09/10/2010 at 12:13pm - health - by moncheri1314 - Sent from mobile version



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

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