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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was watching TV with my mom. The new Trojan Ecstasy condom commercial came on. I sat there awkwardly while my mom pulled out her shopping list. I bet you can guess what she added. FML

#6680888
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20093) - you deserved it (1982)

On 12/09/2009 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by aawkward... (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend promised me he wouldn't leave me alone in Niagara. I'm currently sitting alone in the hotel room drinking a bottle of wine while he gambles away money he doesn't have. FML

#20116235
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20088) - you deserved it (3088)

On 10/14/2012 at 8:43am - love - by lonelygirl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, maintenance came to fix the constantly beeping alarm system near my apartment. They changed it from beeping on-and-off to one never-ending beep, similar to the sound of my sanity flat-lining. FML

#20138046
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20088) - you deserved it (1254)

On 10/29/2012 at 12:31am - misc - by tcm123 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided to try and seduce my boyfriend of 2 years. He was on his laptop, and while he was on it I took off my shirt and bra, and gave him a hug from behind. What I didn't know was that he was video chatting his father the whole time. FML

#11911406
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20087) - you deserved it (43082)

On 07/16/2010 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML

#20060710
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20086) - you deserved it (8671)

On 09/06/2012 at 5:50pm - love - by WaxOnWaxOff - United States (Colorado)

Today, I decided to shave my legs completely to be more confident in my dress. I spent over an hour making sure my legs were perfectly shaved. It wasn't until I had been out awhile that I realized I forgot to shave my armpits. FML

#1904436
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20085) - you deserved it (47735)

On 05/13/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after cleaning my house because I'd thrown a party all weekend while my parents were gone, I still got caught because somebody tried to make beer popsicles with Q-Tips in the ice trays in my freezer. FML

#21106348
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20084) - you deserved it (38300)

On 04/06/2014 at 11:03pm - misc - by trp007 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML

#19029338
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20081) - you deserved it (7857)

On 02/08/2012 at 8:20pm - misc - by pauper (man) -

Today, I tried channeling Mr. Miyagi by catching a fly with my bare hands. It turned out to be a wasp. FML

#20643732
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20081) - you deserved it (45758)

On 05/05/2013 at 7:30pm - misc - by FML136969 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I'm on a trip to Poland with some friends. We came to experience the country's culture, and to challenge our preconceptions about this part of Europe. We had sat on a bench, and not ten seconds later, a stranger approached and asked, "How much for your friend?" FML

#19626954
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20080) - you deserved it (2498) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/15/2012 at 11:59am - misc - by LearnToLive -

Today, I had my eyebrows waxed for my senior pictures. After manhandling me, the cosmetologist managed to "accidentally" take my whole eyebrow off. It looks like I'll be remembered forevermore as the girl with one eyebrow. FML

#19987412
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20080) - you deserved it (2714)

On 07/27/2012 at 1:46pm - misc - by booo - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was applying some acne ointment. The directions said, "Apply a thin layer, covering the entire affected area." In other words, for me: My entire face. Lovely. FML

#8988436
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20079) - you deserved it (3632)

On 03/11/2010 at 12:04am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I came home to find that my roommate had done the laundry. At first, I was very appreciative. However, I wasn't so thankful when I found out she brought home the wrong basket from the laundromat. FML

#8639311
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20078) - you deserved it (1866)

On 02/25/2010 at 1:12pm - misc - by jacquelle - United States (Tennessee)



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