Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that I've been calling my boyfriend's dad by the wrong name for the past two years. No one had told me sooner because they liked laughing at me for it when I wasn't around. FML

#19530940
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21828) - you deserved it (3837)

On 04/26/2012 at 3:11am - misc - by somefamily (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got l disconnect notices for both my water and my electric. After looking over my budget, I realized that I can only pay for one until next month. FML

#7106186
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21825) - you deserved it (6612)

On 01/02/2010 at 3:27pm - money - by troubled - Sent from mobile version

Today, as I put my 4 year old daughter in the car seat, she dropped her crayon. She then paused and matter-of-factly said, "Mommy, I don't say 'f***' anymore when I drop things." FML

#13450247
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21825) - you deserved it (8301)

On 10/14/2010 at 8:25pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, as my friend was rudely rummaging through my phone, she saw a picture of the pottery I've painted her for Christmas. Not only did she see it, but she also declared it ugly. That's probably the present I'm the most proud of this Christmas. FML

#20193344
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21814) - you deserved it (2055)

On 12/06/2012 at 1:15am - misc - by a - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend of a year and I had sex for the first time in several weeks due to relationship problems; I came in less than 10 seconds. We're still having problems. FML

#12641347
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21813) - you deserved it (26502)

On 08/20/2010 at 5:51am - intimacy - by pathetic (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my 26th birthday party got busted by my parents due to them coming home early because of a flight cancellation. Everyone had to leave, but not before my mother made me go to my room. FML

#5055356
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21812) - you deserved it (44061)

On 09/05/2009 at 3:07am - misc - by joeshmoe (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, after spending two weeks renovating my room and $1000 on paint and a new floor, my landlord told me that he's sold the house. Also, he was kind enough to inform me that unless I paint the walls back to white, I won't be getting my $500 deposit back. FML

#13850777
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21812) - you deserved it (17493)

On 11/15/2010 at 7:06am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

#21026318
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21804) - you deserved it (48579)

On 01/13/2014 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I had a nasty cough, but I went to college anyway. When I walked into class, I could practically smell menstrual blood in the air. After a few coughs, our instructor gave me an "Oh, shut up!" After half an hour, she kicked me out for not "taking the class seriously". FML

#19290632
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21803) - you deserved it (7379)

On 03/16/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by danny5191 (man) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, my husband sweetly asked me, "You know what I'd really like to do if I had an extra $4,000?" Expecting a romantic answer, I asked what. He said, "I'd get you a tummy tuck." He still can't figure out what he said wrong. FML

#20125706
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21803) - you deserved it (4362)

On 10/20/2012 at 8:22pm - love - by cargaljen (woman) - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML

#2804
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21802) - you deserved it (2277)

On 01/27/2009 at 9:23am - misc - by impatient amy - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I hit a parked car. It happened to be my driving instructor's car. While he was instructing me, sitting in the passenger seat. I don't think I'll pass. FML

#6497177
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21802) - you deserved it (12685)

On 11/28/2009 at 4:37pm - misc - by badDriver (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to run an errand while my parents helped unpack boxes in my new house. When I returned, my dad said to me, "I wasn't going to say anything, but we 'did it.' I'll let you figure out which room". FML

#20084453
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21801) - you deserved it (1728)

On 09/23/2012 at 12:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: