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Today, my boyfriend and I were preparing for the arrival of Hurricane Sandy. I tasked him with going out to buy emergency groceries in case we lose power. He returned with dozens of microwave cup noodles. We're going to starve. FML

#20137235
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27385) - you deserved it (3761)

On 10/28/2012 at 4:14pm - love - by cupnoodles (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my unemployed mother decided to yet again stay home and drink heavily. So far she's kicked me out of the house, tipped over our sofa and thrown her vibrator out the window. FML

#19920264
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27385) - you deserved it (1781)

On 07/10/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by Deadcat101 - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, for about the fifth time, my neighbors parked blocking my driveway. After parking across the street I stuck a note on their windshield reading “Nice park job asshole“, only to find out that their nephew just passed away and everyone was gathering to go to the viewing. FML

#765740
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27384) - you deserved it (52223)

On 04/02/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, as a going away present after five years of military service and one combat tour, the hospital scheduled me for a prostate exam. FML

#15693766
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27385) - you deserved it (3831)

On 04/08/2011 at 12:09pm - health - by jonh_215 - United States

Today, I found out that the cause of the recent pain in my chest was that I had a torn muscle. What caused this? I sneezed. FML

#13093344
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27382) - you deserved it (3163)

On 09/18/2010 at 12:21am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after being single for a while now, I unwillingly went on a blind date with a guy my friend convinced me would be perfect for me. He took me to McDonald's; his father was with him the whole entire time. He is 27. FML

#20180462
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27382) - you deserved it (2218)

On 11/26/2012 at 10:13pm - love - by N - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, while mowing my backyard, I carelessly ran over a fire ant hill. Thousands of tiny stinging insects blowing towards you while you're wearing shorts and a t-shirt is definitely not fun. FML

#21395171
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27382) - you deserved it (5193)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:27am - health - by Mitchellbassists (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a haircut, and after thanking the stylist I went up front to pay. The lady behind the counter took one look at me, smiled and said "well, now you'll need a hat." FML

#7196833
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27383) - you deserved it (2573)

On 01/07/2010 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my roommate and I noticed a foul smell in our apartment. After looking around for a little while, I found that her cat had pooped on a pair of my jeans, and apparently tried to cover it up by dragging a shirt over the mess. FML

#20479640
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27378) - you deserved it (3253)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:18pm - animals - by peteswentzbass - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, while at work being a waitress, I gave my customer his credit card receipt to sign. Instead of giving him a pen, I pulled a tampon out of my apron pocket and handed it to him. FML

#20135099
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27377) - you deserved it (7587)

On 10/27/2012 at 2:42am - work - by geena - United States (Illinois)

Today, my parents staged a family intervention and gave me the grandest bollocking I've ever experienced in all my 22 years of life. They did this because my sister showed them a photo of me jokingly posing with three bottles of Bud Light at a party. Apparently, I'm an alcoholic in denial. FML

#18065493
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27376) - you deserved it (4753)

On 10/24/2011 at 6:46pm - misc - by wtf (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my fiancée texts me while out at a restaurant. She told me that she saw one of my high school friends there, and that he asked "How's Douglas doing?". She then asked me who Douglas is. Douglas is my legal name. We've been together for over three years and she didn't know. FML

#7564897
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27375) - you deserved it (9921)

On 01/25/2010 at 6:06am - love - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got a call from my manager saying that I won't need to work this weekend. Too bad I already cancelled a family vacation because he threatened to fire me if I didn't work this weekend. FML

#19998359
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27375) - you deserved it (1638)

On 08/02/2012 at 12:22pm - work - by Pizzaguy (man) - United States (Illinois)



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