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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I start work in an office, with my mother. FML

#12280624
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24851) - you deserved it (11490)

On 08/03/2010 at 2:17am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I now know why my next-door neighbour can't look me in the eye without smirking. He can hear every grunt, groan, fart and strain that happens in my bathroom from his bathroom. FML

#14656161
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24848) - you deserved it (3296)

On 01/20/2011 at 10:55pm - health - by Username -

Today, I got tased, with the same taser I bought my girlfriend to use on people trying to rob her. FML

#12687636
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24846) - you deserved it (7836)

On 08/22/2010 at 7:33pm - misc - by Nick - Sent from mobile version

Today, I learned that I have the balls to base jump and skydive, but I still can't ask out the hot girl working at the pub. FML

#17620224
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24846) - you deserved it (8059)

On 08/30/2011 at 10:12am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my mom and I had to shovel our driveway after an epic snowstorm that left us with 22 inches of snow. We only needed to dig out my mom's car and not mine. After we did all that work and shoveled all the snow onto the side where my car was we found out my mom had a flat tire. FML

#6872316
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24845) - you deserved it (3040)

On 12/21/2009 at 8:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dog was riding my car's passenger seat. He clambered over onto my lap, causing me to lose control of the wheel for a few seconds. As I tried to knock him off me, I lost track of my speed, and ended up being pulled over for reckless driving. FML

#20840431
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24844) - you deserved it (41658)

On 08/16/2013 at 2:41pm - animals - by fUcKOAHdSAjl (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I received our gas bill for about £200. My flatmate felt that this was extortionate and therefore phoned up our gas company and angrily told them to recalculate the bill. They did. We now owe £300. FML

#7930001
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24843) - you deserved it (4634)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, my extremely in-shape boyfriend told me he hasn't had a chance to work out lately. I jokingly poked him in the belly saying he's getting chunky and winked. He burst into tears. FML

#16871149
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24843) - you deserved it (38049)

On 06/26/2011 at 9:08pm - health - by kaplwv116 - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to listen to this voicemail. I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty followed by the bed springs bouncing for 3 minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML

#12337328
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24842) - you deserved it (39413)

On 08/05/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by JDLAX1924 - United States

Today, I was at Starbucks after having a rough day. The old man beside me was talking to his friend. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him point at me and say, "See that beautiful girl over there?" Flattered, I listened closer, until he finished his statement with, "She's gonna die." FML

#20031501
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24842) - you deserved it (2079)

On 08/20/2012 at 5:14am - misc - by scared to leave the house (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I received a promotional message offering a half-off deal on an expensive coffee maker. The only reason why I received the message is because I bought that same coffee maker yesterday and I signed up to their mailing list. FML

#21417141
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24842) - you deserved it (2426)

On 05/28/2015 at 1:41pm - money - by FFS - Cyprus (Limassol)

Today, I was getting a flight home. I'd worn a belt because my skirt was too big. When I walked through security, they asked me to remove my belt. My skirt fell down in front of everyone. FML

#14731232
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24836) - you deserved it (12480)

On 01/27/2011 at 11:48am - misc - by roo - United Kingdom

Today, I used an air freshener in my room to make it smell good. At first, the smell was pretty pleasant. However, by the time it'd "soaked in" it smelled just like weed. My whole room stinks of it, and now my mum is convinced I've been smoking pot in my room. FML

#21387075
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24837) - you deserved it (3301)

On 04/03/2015 at 3:05pm - misc - by HtotheFtotheS - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)



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