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Today, I had nothing better to do than make a penis out of silly putty. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7914) - you deserved it (24887)
On 11/15/2009 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, was just like almost every for the past few months; I slept till 1pm, smoked cigarettes, jerked off, went to the store to get coffee, smoked more cigarettes, and sat in my room alone until 4am, jerking off and smoking cigarettes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7913) - you deserved it (25864)
On 01/17/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by none - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7914) - you deserved it (21617)
On 10/11/2012 at 10:02am - love - by goodeyesight (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)
Today, my boss gave me an evaluation form for him and told me it was totally anonymous. So, I decided to really be rude about it. At lunch, I asked a co-worker what he put on the evaluation, and he said, "What evaluation?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (7901) - you deserved it (23891)
On 01/20/2010 at 5:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, while leaving school to skip fourth period, I hit someone's car in the parking lot. It was the teacher's whose class I was going to skip. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7898) - you deserved it (45451)
On 02/20/2009 at 2:21pm - misc - by Ava777 (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I microwaved a cup of soup. While walking back to my desk to eat and do homework, I noticed a message that said, "WARNING: Hold cup by sides, as lid may not be secure." At that exact moment, the lid that I was holding fell off and the soup drenched my Nintendo DS, and printer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7897) - you deserved it (26489)
On 10/20/2009 at 1:44pm - misc - by Omi (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I tried to back out of a spot in a parking garage. I did a 12 point turn, hit the car behind me and still didn't manage to get out of the spot. Everyone was staring at me, and the attendant had to come over and move my car for me. I have to park there every day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7895) - you deserved it (18450)
On 08/31/2011 at 7:07am - misc - by greatdriver...4 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had to walk through an extremely crowded pub wearing a dorky prisoner outfit to get to a dress-up party at the back. When we got there, I soon realised it wasn't fancy dress, but just black-and-white themed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7894) - you deserved it (11791)
On 09/09/2011 at 9:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia
Today, just for old time's sake, I decided to jump on my bed. I ended up hitting my head on the spinning fan and knocking myself unconscious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7894) - you deserved it (26059)
On 10/13/2012 at 2:45am - health - by lalalalainie - United States (California)
Today, I found out that the crumbs on the couch that look like the oreos you just ate, can actually turn out to be very crunchy, and have legs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7893) - you deserved it (35458)
On 08/22/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I bought a fake "wedding ring" at Target to play a prank on my parents. They kicked me out, saying my "fiancé" can take care of me now. There is no fiancé, and I just lost my job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7891) - you deserved it (27128)
On 01/18/2010 at 3:12pm - love - by Crissylove10 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my dad walked into my room, threw some magazines on my bed, and calmly said "You left your porn in the bathroom again." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7889) - you deserved it (32410)
On 12/27/2011 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by ;)loganberry(; - United States (Montana)
Today, after waking up from a drunken night, I realized the burning sensation I had from the lube during sex was because I used hand sanitizer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7888) - you deserved it (28233)
On 10/20/2012 at 9:57am - intimacy - by MIND BLOWING - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 17 June 2013
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