Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mother met my boyfriend. She thought it would be appropriate to tell him that he looks just like my ex-husband. FML

#19859656
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19978) - you deserved it (2313)

On 06/28/2012 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was in a café when a construction worker asked to borrow a pen. The only pen I had on me was my brand new Parker, which I reluctantly loaned him. As he was writing, he stopped to think, and happily chewed on the end of the pen, which he later returned to me, glistening in saliva. FML

#19659834
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19971) - you deserved it (4606)

On 05/21/2012 at 10:48pm - misc - by BowlofCherries (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, to help me get over my crippling social anxiety, my therapist encouraged me to sing in front of a crowd, since I actually have a fine singing voice. I ended up fainting onstage, mid-song. FML

#20146765
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19971) - you deserved it (1841)

On 11/04/2012 at 2:28am - misc - by Chuffy (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at the dentist. During my check-up, he recommended a dermatologist. FML

#19393124
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19970) - you deserved it (2476)

On 04/02/2012 at 1:59am - health - by bdogge99 - United States (Washington)

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

#18041675
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19969) - you deserved it (33260)

On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while I was at work, my boyfriend decided to give my Cocker Spaniel a haircut. I now have the equivalent of an over-sized naked mole rat running around my house. FML

#19083975
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19969) - you deserved it (2516)

On 02/15/2012 at 6:09am - animals - by workaholic (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my mom I was finally going on a diet. She let me know how proud she is of me fighting temptation, by making my favorite cookies and dinner. FML

#19743960
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19969) - you deserved it (2051)

On 06/06/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I have such bad diarrhea that every time I sneeze I poop. I've discovered it's very hard to run to the bathroom every time I feel the urge to sneeze. FML

#20103865
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19969) - you deserved it (1369)

On 10/06/2012 at 3:12am - health - by monkers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I took my mom to Victoria's Secret to help her find a bra. She made me try one on to see if it looked good on me. Turns out we have the same cup size. I'm a guy. FML

#17080127
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19968) - you deserved it (47659)

On 07/12/2011 at 12:45pm - misc - by sm702 - United States (Colorado)

Today, after therapy for obsessing over every woman who talks to me, all I could think about was how I could seduce my therapist. I think I still need a lot of help. FML

#20133155
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19969) - you deserved it (5066)

On 10/25/2012 at 7:09pm - love - by mental - United States

Today, my roommate did his laundry. Unfortunately, he didn't check his pockets before he washed them. There's now sticky, melted gum all over the washer and I'm left to clean it up. FML

#18926835
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19965) - you deserved it (1899)

On 01/27/2012 at 5:32pm - misc - by StickySituations (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my dog and I were sitting on the couch. I went to the bathroom, came back, and saw him walk over the remote, which caused the TV to change to the Hustler channel, just a few moments before my girlfriend walked through the door. FML

#20157085
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19964) - you deserved it (3101)

On 11/10/2012 at 1:51am - animals - by Sam l. - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: