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Today, my roommate gave me a self-help book on alcoholism for my birthday. He's an alcoholic. I gave him that book around 8 months ago. FML

#6674667
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23163) - you deserved it (4721)

On 12/09/2009 at 12:29am - misc - by notalcoholic (man) - Philippines (Quezon City)

Today, I was so bored at my job as a receptionist that I actually got excited when the phone rang. FML

#18067160
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23163) - you deserved it (3076)

On 10/24/2011 at 9:33pm - work - by anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up soaked in water. It seems at some point in the middle of the night, I woke up thirsty and opened the water bottle I keep on my nightstand. I managed to drink a little, but it seems I didn't manage to put the cap back on before losing consciousness again. FML

#18184831
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23161) - you deserved it (5366)

On 11/07/2011 at 3:49pm - misc - by Olorin (man) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML

#18946444
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23160) - you deserved it (9956)

On 01/29/2012 at 8:27pm - health - by Rachal - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, we had our whole staff photo. We all had to stand up in rows in height order, as I'm tall I had to stand in the middle, at the back. I'm horribly claustrophobic and ended up fainting in front of 100 colleagues, taking down 4 people around me. FML

#19144680
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23159) - you deserved it (3191)

On 02/23/2012 at 7:11am - work - by photofaint - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while getting on the subway, I tripped over the gap between the train and the platform. My flip-flop caught on the edge, and fell into the gap. I had to walk home with one flip-flop. FML

#12833502
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23158) - you deserved it (8752)

On 08/31/2010 at 2:14am - misc - by grossfoot (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked into a door on my way in to an interview, in front of the interviewer and a group of people waiting to be interviewed. FML

#21345740
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23156) - you deserved it (2837)

On 01/28/2015 at 6:18pm - work - by amyhyett - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was installing wireless surveillance cameras outside my workplace. Before mounting them, I pointed them around the building to make sure there was a good signal and picture. I got inside to the monitor just in time to see a kid steal one of the cameras. FML

#17863596
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23154) - you deserved it (2726)

On 09/29/2011 at 1:44pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my sister gave me a makeover. I protested, but she insisted it'd look great. After an eternity of eyebrow plucking, she handed me the mirror. I now have extremely badly-drawn sharpie eyebrows. FML

#19417641
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23155) - you deserved it (5846)

On 04/06/2012 at 1:11pm - misc - by nobrows (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend actually held onto my love handles while we were having sex. He said they "made it easier." FML

#20039086
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23153) - you deserved it (9247)

On 08/24/2012 at 9:53am - intimacy - by chunkymonkey (woman) - United States

Today, I asked my professor what happened to the assignment I gave him several weeks ago. Turns out he lost it, and graded me zero as a result. Now if I want a mark, he says I'll have to hand-write it all over again, but that I "probably shouldn't bother," because it was "a bit shit, really." FML

#19011157
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23152) - you deserved it (1967)

On 02/06/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I pulled one of my favorite hoodies out of my closet, and immediately noticed several large stains on it. Apparently, my dad had managed to open a hole in the roof and couldn't be bothered to patch it, so a squirrel got in and used my closet as a litter box. FML

#17778916
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23150) - you deserved it (1923)

On 09/19/2011 at 6:16am - animals - by gs - United States (New York)



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