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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my mom made up a new game. She thinks it's hilarious to hide my brother's creepy Batman toy around the house to creep me out. This has been going on for hours and I still scream every time. FML

#20454752
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24380) - you deserved it (9518)

On 01/12/2013 at 1:36am - misc - by poohanne - United States (Louisiana)

Today, there are rumors flying around my office that I hooked up with the guy who picks his nose and leaves boogers under tables. I didn't. Last night I took a shower at my boyfriend's place, who happens to use the exact same body wash and shampoo as the office outcast. FML

#14019566
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24378) - you deserved it (3262)

On 11/29/2010 at 1:23am - intimacy - by AntiAxe -

Today, at my workplace, a TV was installed just above my register at work which plays the same mind-numbingly awful 13 second ad on loop for the duration of our latest sale. The sale lasts for what are going to be three very long weeks. FML

#17398491
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24379) - you deserved it (2365)

On 08/07/2011 at 4:37pm - work - by Kris - China

Today, my boyfriend said he was going to give me breakfast in bed before he left. He walked over, threw some granola bars on the bed next to me and left. FML

#19505395
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24378) - you deserved it (3718)

On 04/21/2012 at 9:04am - love - by still hungry - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

#20140057
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24378) - you deserved it (4230)

On 10/30/2012 at 10:27am - misc - by Obi1Shinobi - United States

Today, it's been five days since my roommate last talked to me. Although she's not communicating with me verbally, she's excelling at non-verbal communication: slamming doors and drawers, and watching loud videos, all while I desperately try to study. FML

#21345047
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24379) - you deserved it (2494)

On 01/27/2015 at 11:12am - misc - by NoTalkAllGame - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I just spent half an hour cleaning up my little brother's puke after he got drunk for the first time. All the people who bought him drinks are still out partying and having a good time, while all I can smell is whiskey, Chinese food, and whatever else was in his stomach. FML

#7120225
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24377) - you deserved it (2852)

On 01/03/2010 at 3:42am - misc - by always-the-responsible-one (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I attended a job fair for a position at a shop. I was the only one who showed and submitted an application. I didn't get the job. FML

#13090304
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24377) - you deserved it (2911)

On 09/17/2010 at 8:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got attacked by my own dog. I don't know what will be harder, telling everyone how my dog thought I was a robber or explaining to them why a 25 year old man owns a poodle. FML

#15766373
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24378) - you deserved it (15618)

On 04/13/2011 at 3:05am - animals - by Username -

Today, a friend sent me a song. I didn't have time to listen to it all, so I listened to the first 30 seconds of it to get a feel for it. It was nice and uplifting, so I sent it to my mom. Turns out, after the first 30 seconds, the singer brightens his day by singing about his enormous penis. FML

#21366785
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24375) - you deserved it (11858)

On 03/02/2015 at 7:48pm - misc - by Microtron - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML

#14109694
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24373) - you deserved it (4587)

On 12/06/2010 at 5:50pm - animals - by Addicted2FML303 (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I got into a car accident. I got into it because I noticed a flashy new sign on the highway that read "Being an attentive driver prevents car crashes". Thanks for the notice. FML

#6930680
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24371) - you deserved it (6049)

On 12/24/2009 at 11:08pm - health - by RoxMySox - United States (Texas)

Today, I politely complimented a stranger's excellent posture. She responded by saying "I have a metal rod in my back." FML

#14791942
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24366) - you deserved it (6478)

On 01/31/2011 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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