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Today, my boyfriend told me he always thought the female orgasm was an urban legend. FML

#5735053
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22053) - you deserved it (3565)

On 10/09/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by 310 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at work, I got chilli powder in my eye. Now not only do I have a swollen, blistered eye, but I am covered in milk as my boss assured me that would help. FML

#18225907
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22051) - you deserved it (2354)

On 11/12/2011 at 4:27am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to my regular pharmacist of three months, and since I've always seen him on a crutch, I asked him how his leg was. His response: "Still missing". FML

#19903690
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22051) - you deserved it (6228)

On 07/07/2012 at 3:26am - misc - by sozzy - United States (California)

Today, my friends and I planned to go to a waterpark together. However, due to a "miscommunication," I, and only I, was given both the wrong time and the wrong meeting place. I spent three hours sitting in a parking lot in little more than my swimming suit. FML

#20004339
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22049) - you deserved it (2484)

On 08/05/2012 at 6:05pm - misc - by crissy becks - United States (California)

Today, I had shelves installed using a builder who came highly recommended by my co-worker. Turns out the builder is her friend, who has no actual qualifications or experience as a builder, but 'it's his dream'. I now have a gaping hole in my kitchen where the shelves should be. FML

#18719100
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22048) - you deserved it (4762)

On 01/05/2012 at 7:37pm - misc - by neveragain89 (woman) - Australia

Today, I was babysitting a little girl, and we were playing with dolls. After we fed her babies, we put them down for a nap. After a few minutes, I asked if they'd had enough sleep. She looked at me like I was a freak and said, "Uh, they're not real babies, you know..." FML

#19867200
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22046) - you deserved it (3205)

On 06/29/2012 at 4:48pm - kids - by friend (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I went to the mall and had to parallel park. It took me 10 to 12 minutes of maneuvering before I got into the slot. When I turned off the car and got out, there were 8 people laughing hysterically and clapping for me. FML

#3706736
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22044) - you deserved it (42016)

On 07/13/2009 at 1:14am - misc - by greek_dancer (woman) - United States

Today, my mom and I took my senile grandmother to the mall, since she doesn't get out much. She complained it was hot, then took her clothing off in the middle of the food court. It took us thirty minutes to make her put her shirt back on. FML

#20187746
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22041) - you deserved it (1907)

On 12/02/2012 at 9:05am - misc - by Sam - United States (Indiana)

Today, my husband informed me that his father adopted a dog. I replied "Cool," he then said, "She happens to have your name." I think my father in law is trying to send me a message. FML

#13615353
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22041) - you deserved it (2501)

On 10/27/2010 at 2:46pm - animals - by Florida - United States (California)

Today, I was working behind the bar at a club. After serving drinks to a guy, he asked me if I could carry them outside to the two girls waiting for him. I scowled at him and told him I wasn't a waitress. That's when I realised he had one arm. FML

#20910594
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22041) - you deserved it (51619)

On 10/07/2013 at 3:37am - work - by bitch (woman) - Australia

Today, I was walking to work, when I slipped and landed on my tail bone. Worse still, my hot coffee went flying into my face. I currently can't see out of my left eye. FML

#8443667
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22040) - you deserved it (1956)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:44pm - health - by corleon198425 - United States

Today, while setting up for a party I was having, I put black lights into our bathroom for the cool bright, neon color you get when you pee. When I turn them on to see where I need to continue cleaning, I see many, small, yellow hand prints on the walls. I have a nine year old brother. FML

#13660294
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22038) - you deserved it (2760)

On 10/31/2010 at 5:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom decided to only speak to me through our pet cat. FML

#17755908
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22038) - you deserved it (2398)

On 09/16/2011 at 1:40am - animals - by izu - United States



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