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Today, my mother met my boyfriend. She thought it would be appropriate to tell him that he looks just like my ex-husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19978) - you deserved it (2313)
On 06/28/2012 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, my dog wouldn't stop pestering me while I was eating some chocolate mousse. I tried to get him to leave me alone for a bit by pretending to throw the mousse far away. The pot stayed in my hand, but I covered the furniture in chocolate mousse. My dog enjoyed cleaning it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19973) - you deserved it (42721) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/03/2014 at 3:44am - animals - by MonsieurH - France (Bretagne)
Today, I was in a café when a construction worker asked to borrow a pen. The only pen I had on me was my brand new Parker, which I reluctantly loaned him. As he was writing, he stopped to think, and happily chewed on the end of the pen, which he later returned to me, glistening in saliva. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19971) - you deserved it (4606)
On 05/21/2012 at 10:48pm - misc - by BowlofCherries (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, to help me get over my crippling social anxiety, my therapist encouraged me to sing in front of a crowd, since I actually have a fine singing voice. I ended up fainting onstage, mid-song. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19971) - you deserved it (1841)
On 11/04/2012 at 2:28am - misc - by Chuffy (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was at the dentist. During my check-up, he recommended a dermatologist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19970) - you deserved it (2476)
On 04/02/2012 at 1:59am - health - by bdogge99 - United States (Washington)
Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19969) - you deserved it (33260)
On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, while I was at work, my boyfriend decided to give my Cocker Spaniel a haircut. I now have the equivalent of an over-sized naked mole rat running around my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19969) - you deserved it (2516)
On 02/15/2012 at 6:09am - animals - by workaholic (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I told my mom I was finally going on a diet. She let me know how proud she is of me fighting temptation, by making my favorite cookies and dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19969) - you deserved it (2051)
On 06/06/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, I have such bad diarrhea that every time I sneeze I poop. I've discovered it's very hard to run to the bathroom every time I feel the urge to sneeze. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19969) - you deserved it (1369)
On 10/06/2012 at 3:12am - health - by monkers - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I took my mom to Victoria's Secret to help her find a bra. She made me try one on to see if it looked good on me. Turns out we have the same cup size. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19968) - you deserved it (47659)
On 07/12/2011 at 12:45pm - misc - by sm702 - United States (Colorado)
Today, after therapy for obsessing over every woman who talks to me, all I could think about was how I could seduce my therapist. I think I still need a lot of help. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19969) - you deserved it (5066)
On 10/25/2012 at 7:09pm - love - by mental - United States
Today, my roommate did his laundry. Unfortunately, he didn't check his pockets before he washed them. There's now sticky, melted gum all over the washer and I'm left to clean it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19965) - you deserved it (1899)
On 01/27/2012 at 5:32pm - misc - by StickySituations (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my dog and I were sitting on the couch. I went to the bathroom, came back, and saw him walk over the remote, which caused the TV to change to the Hustler channel, just a few moments before my girlfriend walked through the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19964) - you deserved it (3101)
On 11/10/2012 at 1:51am - animals - by Sam l. - United States
Tuesday 22 July 2014
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