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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found out my roommate thinks the sink is an appropriate place to wash his junk. FML

#17617365
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22702) - you deserved it (2377)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:56pm - misc - by SinkyBalls - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was taking the bus to work and it was a rather bumpy ride. The child sitting across from me asked her mom if her chin moves like mine when the bus goes up. FML

#5949212
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22701) - you deserved it (6055)

On 10/22/2009 at 8:40pm - misc - by mandy (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had a nasty cough, but I went to college anyway. When I walked into class, I could practically smell menstrual blood in the air. After a few coughs, our instructor gave me an "Oh, shut up!" After half an hour, she kicked me out for not "taking the class seriously". FML

#19290632
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22699) - you deserved it (7551)

On 03/16/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by danny5191 (man) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

#20108214
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22699) - you deserved it (4709)

On 10/08/2012 at 9:55pm - love - by hnickell93 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as I sat down in the plane, I realized that for the next seven hours I would be sitting next to a priest who refused to stop praying aloud, and an old man who wanted to tell me the story of how the toothpick came to be. FML

#19998370
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22699) - you deserved it (2014)

On 08/02/2012 at 12:30pm - misc - by skrillexblewme - United States

Today, I discovered the piggy bank I made a Facebook account for has more friends than me. It has 12. FML

#13733621
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22698) - you deserved it (12704)

On 11/06/2010 at 12:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a customer handed me a 100 dollar bill. He then told me that it was my tip for doing a good job. He snatched it away just as I touched it, laughed, and said, "Just kidding." He then took his money and left the store. FML

#20109681
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22697) - you deserved it (2062)

On 10/09/2012 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, is the blizzard. I have to go into work, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't show up. I sent him a picture of the snow completely covering my car. He said I moved the snow there and could move it back. FML

#21345232
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22698) - you deserved it (1596)

On 01/27/2015 at 6:50pm - work - by bitchypast - United States (Maine)

Today, I sprained my ankle while playing soccer. I still have to walk home. In the rain. FML

#7742819
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22695) - you deserved it (3010)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:07pm - health - by snidpea - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had a dream that my ex-boyfriend had become a vicious serial killer and was hunting me down because I broke up with him. I don't know what scares me more: the way he hunted me in my sleep, or the fact that it wouldn't surprise me if it actually happened. FML

#19958664
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22695) - you deserved it (3447)

On 07/19/2012 at 11:55am - love - by InsomniacToBe - United States (Utah)

Today, I was at Home Depot getting a Christmas tree with my family. While picking out a tree, a man thought it would be nice to help cut off the string that held the tree together. The branches hit me in the face and the guy managed to cut my hand. FML

#6612451
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22694) - you deserved it (2144)

On 12/05/2009 at 3:48am - misc - by shoutoutloud2him (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML

#21243189
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22694) - you deserved it (39179)

On 08/22/2014 at 2:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to a Jack's Mannequin concert. I'd asked this girl I'm interested in to come with me, and she insisted that she had to bring her two year old son with us. I'd told her it was no problem. Ten minutes into it, she said we needed to leave because it was too loud for him. FML

#8410012
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22693) - you deserved it (9303)

On 02/18/2010 at 3:12pm - love - by tyler - United States



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