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Today, my fiancé decided he wants a baby only because our dog is good, quiet, and falls asleep as soon as he starts to cradle her. He thinks a baby will be just like that. FML

#20445378
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23632) - you deserved it (2462)

On 01/06/2013 at 8:49pm - animals - by Twiggysucks68 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found a schedule in my dorm room that I share with three other guys. Looking at it closer I realized it was my schedule with notes written in all around it. My roommates have planned their entire days around mine so we won't have any interaction at all. I thought we got along great. FML

#14075452
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23632) - you deserved it (3575)

On 12/03/2010 at 8:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was showing my three year-old that going down the deck steps are perfectly safe. At the top, I tripped on my shoe and fell head first down every step. I now have five stitches and a three year old who won't go anywhere near the deck. FML

#12485958
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23628) - you deserved it (7597)

On 08/12/2010 at 9:06pm - misc - by Diana (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, just like every other day, I was woken up 2 hours earlier than I needed to be, by the alarm belonging to my upstairs neighbors. They won't wake up until their real alarm goes off: me, pounding the walls and yelling in frustration. FML

#18272424
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23629) - you deserved it (1912)

On 11/17/2011 at 12:39pm - misc - by tnh - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be hilarious if she pulled a prank on me, so she did the classic "bucket of water on a door" one. I ended up getting stitches and a concussion on my birthday. FML

#19992075
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23627) - you deserved it (1615)

On 07/30/2012 at 2:41am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up and had a voicemail from my boyfriend. I just thought nothing of it because it was a pocket dial. I decided to listen to it carefully and realized it was him having sex with another girl. FML

#7904015
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23625) - you deserved it (1995)

On 02/05/2010 at 11:29am - intimacy - by donkeyd - United States (Virginia)

Today, I did my workout at the gym instead of at home as I usually do, since I'm paranoid about people seeing up my shorts. I told myself to get over it, because it's impossible. After my extensive workout, I realized that there was a hole in the crotch of my shorts. FML

#7199308
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23624) - you deserved it (9479)

On 01/07/2010 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I tried to politely explain to my mother that I'm allergic to her laundry soap. She just called me crazy. I have been scratching for three days straight and my skin is almost all red. She refuses to buy anything else. FML

Today, I found out that I can't pass a field sobriety test while sober. FML

#14606739
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23624) - you deserved it (4313)

On 01/16/2011 at 10:59pm - misc - by sos (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my kitchen sink was clogged. I poured a bottle of Drano down and came back two hours later. The clog is still there, but the glue on the pipe is not and now there is Drano-water all over the floor, staining and dissolving everything in my kitchen. FML

#10615901
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23621) - you deserved it (6615)

On 05/18/2010 at 9:23pm - misc - by MisterT (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after years of lobbying for a travel job, I'm finally in Africa. Everything I eat or drink comes violently back out both directions. When I don't eat or drink, I pass out. Essentially I have to choose between illness and consciousness. Hello, fabulous new job. FML

#19714099
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23621) - you deserved it (6315)

On 06/01/2012 at 4:41am - health - by sicksicksick (woman) - Senegal

Today, while working as a receptionist at a health clinic a woman came to settle her account. Before she left, she held out her closed palm and asked if I could put something in the bin for her. I held out my hand and watched many bits of chewed fingernails land in my palm. FML

#19095888
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23620) - you deserved it (2306)

On 02/16/2012 at 8:29pm - work - by Tay - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I am contemplating ending my relationship of 6 years. My boyfriend is too busy playing with a plastic guitar to listen. FML

#2469
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23618) - you deserved it (3499)

On 01/24/2009 at 5:09pm - love - by fyou - United States (Michigan)



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