Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I sprained my ankle while playing soccer. I still have to walk home. In the rain. FML

#7742819
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24433) - you deserved it (3190)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:07pm - health - by snidpea - Sent from mobile version

Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML

#21414342
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24440) - you deserved it (3016)

On 05/23/2015 at 7:06am - kids - by DENTALITY (woman) - Norway

Today, I witnessed a robbery as a teenager ran out of a Walgreens with stolen goods in his hands. The manager was running after him. Trying to be helpful, I pulled forward to block the thief from getting away. The cops showed up and arrested me for hitting a pedestrian. FML

#20169022
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24430) - you deserved it (4483)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:18am - misc - by ausmill12 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mum decided to teach me a lesson about carelessly leaving my wallet about. She left it on the floor so our puppy could use it and its contents as a chew toy. I was almost impressed to discover that he can eat three £20 notes and still have room for debit cards. FML

#8971410
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24429) - you deserved it (8439)

On 03/10/2010 at 1:37pm - money - by MR (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML

#19608158
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24426) - you deserved it (6192)

On 05/11/2012 at 5:41pm - misc - by rongo12 (man) -

Today, I was on a crowded bus on the way back from my boyfriend's when I suddenly had a terrible nose bleed. I had no tissues, so instead I had to use last night's underwear from my bag. FML

#14366968
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24424) - you deserved it (4716)

On 12/28/2010 at 5:47am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I met a guy while out with some friends. He kept blowing up his cheeks, so I did it back to him and asked him why he did it. He pulled out a card from his wallet and pointed at it. It was a card saying he may have speech or facial difficulties because he had a stroke when he was 12. FML

#19454925
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24423) - you deserved it (12878)

On 04/12/2012 at 9:47am - misc - by Holls (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, my extremely in-shape boyfriend told me he hasn't had a chance to work out lately. I jokingly poked him in the belly saying he's getting chunky and winked. He burst into tears. FML

#16871149
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24420) - you deserved it (36015)

On 06/26/2011 at 9:08pm - health - by kaplwv116 - United States (Illinois)

Today, after finally getting a job offer after months of unemployment, I found out that the person who was going to hire me got fired. Which means I'm not getting the job. FML

#14305621
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24418) - you deserved it (1875)

On 12/23/2010 at 1:05am - work - by tjm (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that scorpions can apparently hold their breath for hours, and that doing so makes them angry. I found this out when I removed a scorpion from the bottom of my pool and found that it was not entirely drowned. FML

#20112873
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24418) - you deserved it (2287)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:56pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I sneezed while I was in the middle of getting a root canal. I managed to warn the dentist that I was going to sneeze, but he didn't manage to get the tools out of my mouth in time. FML

#19101039
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24417) - you deserved it (1702)

On 02/17/2012 at 3:43pm - health - by Anon - United States

Today, my tire was a little low on air. I decided to put in a can of Fix-A-Flat and drive home. Since it was 10 degrees outside and snowing, the can became frozen to the valve. When I finally got the can off, I had ruined the valve, so I had to put on the spare tire. It was flat too. FML

#6651992
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24416) - you deserved it (5312)

On 12/07/2009 at 5:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nebraska)



Juliette Bubulle's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Juliette's illustrated FML
  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: