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Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML

#19344885
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21245) - you deserved it (3823)

On 03/25/2012 at 1:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to tell my 10-year-old son that if he wanted to get girls, he had to do the Gangnam Style. My son has now non-stop been doing the Gangnam Style. FML

#20136801
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21245) - you deserved it (4118)

On 10/28/2012 at 10:53am - kids - by friedbutter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room... where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML

#2637147
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21244) - you deserved it (69396)

On 06/05/2009 at 5:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out the tattoo signifying my marriage turned out to be more permanent than the marriage itself. FML

#1933691
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21244) - you deserved it (55162)

On 05/14/2009 at 3:57pm - love - by branded (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at work and was confronted by a customer wanting to get a "Nemo" fish. I explained that 'Nemo' needs to live in saltwater, not freshwater, like their tank was. The customer then turns around and grabs a perforated tank divider and says, "Can't I just split them up with this?" FML

#12924795
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21244) - you deserved it (2860)

On 09/05/2010 at 11:01pm - work - by christiner - Sent from mobile version

Today, my roommate and I realised our freezer hasn't been working for days. This would be slightly less awful if she hadn't been storing dead rats for her pet snakes in there. Let's just say the smell is interesting. FML

Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML

#20907982
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21243) - you deserved it (47767)

On 10/05/2013 at 2:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that since no other procedures are working, I was required to stop eating, and drink a bunch of foul tasting 'goo', which will in turn give me constant diarrhea. This will then prepare me nicely for the long tube with a camera on the end of which will be shoved up my rectum. FML

#14630970
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21243) - you deserved it (3277)

On 01/18/2011 at 8:51pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she looked up at me and said, "You look a lot like your brother." FML

#5119297
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21241) - you deserved it (2110)

On 09/08/2009 at 12:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a spur of the moment idea to go have my nose pierced. The piercer made sure to tell me how easily the little stud could get caught or hung up. I spent all day stressing over it only to scratch my nose and rip it out. Now I have a $40 bleeding hole in my nose. FML

#21149883
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21241) - you deserved it (33041)

On 05/24/2014 at 2:08am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to my weekly AA meeting. It was a huge crowd and I was the guest speaker. Not 5 minutes into my speech, I was booed off stage and banned from further attendance because I accidentally wore a Jack Daniel's shirt. FML

#21217633
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21241) - you deserved it (49867)

On 07/22/2014 at 7:20pm - health - by dypshyyt - United States (Florida)

Today, after confessing my love for my best friend, he looked at me and said "I'm not feeling it. But does this mean we can have sex?" FML

#7618857
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21240) - you deserved it (3111)

On 01/27/2010 at 7:09pm - intimacy - by Boned...hard - Sent from mobile version

Today, I parked my car in a garage that cost $13 for every 10 minutes past 10 o'clock. When I came back to the garage at 10, I had forgotten where I parked it and spent an hour looking for it. I paid $78 to lose my car. FML

#2300061
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21237) - you deserved it (37435)

On 05/26/2009 at 1:39am - money - by lostcar (man) - United States (California)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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