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Today, I noticed that whenever I don't give the homeless guy around the corner some money, my side mirrors get stolen. FML

Today, I woke up to my husband slowly pulling my blanket off me. I thought he was being romantic until I realized it was because the cat had puked all over me while I was sleeping. FML

#13034308
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27434) - you deserved it (2768)

On 09/13/2010 at 12:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mom thought I was flying high on weed and nearly grounded me for it. I wasn't high, I was just actually in a good mood for the first time in a few weeks. FML

#19999290
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27433) - you deserved it (2207)

On 08/02/2012 at 10:14pm - misc - by HappyMan (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I spent a half hour trying to help my cat down after he got stuck in the tree on my lawn. I finally gave up and called a local tree care company to help. When I returned outside, I found my cat casually walking about by the door. The guy who showed up to help was not happy. FML

#21341011
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27433) - you deserved it (5256)

On 01/20/2015 at 3:24pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML

#21449227
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27433) - you deserved it (1581)

On 07/29/2015 at 8:57pm - health - by Crap (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was playing ball with my student during recess. My first attempt at throwing the ball hit him in the head. My second attempt hit him in the crotch. FML

#6211004
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27432) - you deserved it (7771)

On 11/08/2009 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, walking to work in a snowstorm since I don't own a car, a man rolled down his window and screamed, "what are you doing you f***ing freak? you stupid b**ch!", while I waited for a green light to cross. FML

#3093
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27432) - you deserved it (2461)

On 01/28/2009 at 2:21pm - work - by likwidsol - United States (New York)

Today, my boss insisted I go in front of him up the stairs. Out of respect, I insisted he go first. After a few seconds of back and forth insisting, he went. The reason he wanted me to go first was because he had to fart. I inhaled the raunchy gas for over three flights of stairs. FML

#21376143
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27431) - you deserved it (11700)

On 03/17/2015 at 2:12am - work - by Boss Troubles - United States (California)

Today, I volunteered to help out at an elementary school. I accidentally elbowed a little girl in the face while playing tag. And an hour later, a little boy flew out of his swing because I accidentally pushed him too hard. They're both siblings and are my child psychology instructor's kids. FML

#13849266
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27431) - you deserved it (8748)

On 11/15/2010 at 2:26am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I found my electric globe. It asks you where a state, country or city is and you would have to find it and click on it with the pen. I also found out that my parents would sneak into my room at night, take it and play 'strip-globe'. FML

#14708119
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27428) - you deserved it (2916)

On 01/25/2011 at 9:10am - intimacy - by Charlotte -

Today, I found out that my wife sent nudie pics to her ex-husband. My wife's excuse for the pics? "I needed a compliment because I thought you didn't love me." FML

#737
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27428) - you deserved it (5809)

On 01/07/2009 at 10:25am - love - by beno - United States (Texas)

Today, my sister and I drove 800 miles with her five-year-old, her two-year-old, and her two dogs. The two-year-old got carsick five times, adding an extra three hours to the trip. The kickers? My sister is sympathy spewer and neither of them chews food very well. FML

#12097515
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27427) - you deserved it (3429)

On 07/25/2010 at 2:17am - kids - by longdrive (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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