AccidentalMess17

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2014
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83
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About Accidentalmess17

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Accidentalmess17 - Followers

Accidentalmess17 - Followed

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Accidentalmess17's page visits

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Accidentalmess17's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Work is a 4-letter word

Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I'm an early bird, but no worm yet

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 a.m.

Night owl

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return, you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

I like your style

You gave a Hug to someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

It's in the can!

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

50 favorites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!

Judgmental

You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.

What'ch'all looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, but not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I agree, my mouse works.

200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

100 kick-ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

A new thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

YDI Master

You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.

The thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

The return of the thumb

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The list of badges to find

Accidentalmess17's favorite FMLs

By Jobby - 30/06/2012 12:48

Today, I have four flights. I spent last night projectile vomiting with food poisoning. By the time I got to the airport it had progressed to liquid diarhea. Two flights in, I got my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 808

You deserved it 2 724

By Marjorie - 13/07/2012 17:08 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 253

You deserved it 3 447

By ayye_its_nikki - 19/12/2012 05:07 - United States - Cedar Park

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 558

You deserved it 21 385

By orgasmicriding - 22/12/2012 22:55 - United States - Wyandotte

Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 300

You deserved it 7 022

By Anonymous - 19/05/2013 20:33 - United States

Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 710

You deserved it 6 404

By bestiality? do I look like a pig? - 26/05/2013 20:50 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I borrowed my boyfriend's laptop. Out of curiosity, I clicked through the bookmarks in his web browser. One of them took me to a site dedicated to sex stories featuring characters from My Little Pony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 283

You deserved it 18 374

Hooligans

By Agax - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Riverside

Today, I was playing soccer when a player kicked the ball at my crotch. In pain, I kneeled down. The referee came up to me and whispered, "The smaller they are, the more it hurts." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 983

You deserved it 4 123

By the long distance guy - 08/04/2014 07:56 - United States - Waterbury

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 803

You deserved it 6 997

By BetterThanChocolate - 20/04/2014 23:24 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, at a big Easter egg hunt, the kids found a wild bunny. Everyone smiled and "aww"ed, until my dog caught and ate it in front everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 211

You deserved it 5 615

By teapotrevolt - 02/03/2015 20:40 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, while laughing at a jogger that fell down while running, I choked on my French fries. They had to give me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 499

You deserved it 54 295

By Microtron - 03/03/2015 00:48 - United States - Oxford

Today, a friend sent me a song. I didn't have time to listen to it all, so I listened to the first 30 seconds of it to get a feel for it. It was nice and uplifting, so I sent it to my mom. Turns out, after the first 30 seconds, the singer brightens his day by singing about his enormous penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 229

You deserved it 13 464

By Anonymous - 02/06/2015 05:03

Today, I received a beautiful, heart-felt text from my boyfriend detailing all the ways he loved me. He probably should have emphasized just how big his heart is though because he sent the text to three other women too. Thank you, group messaging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 579

You deserved it 2 587

By Anonymous - 09/07/2015 19:46 - United States

Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of 3 years a few months ago, my boys convinced me to go out with the cute girl I had been talking to on Tinder. However, she wasn't cute, or a girl. He robbed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 943

You deserved it 5 404

By leahrb - 24/02/2016 18:55 - United States - Wilmington

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 373

You deserved it 1 899

Steamy

By Hotdamn - 21/03/2016 04:32 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and steamy in the shower, until I slipped and fell backwards into the shower curtain, which caused me to hit the back of my head on the toilet seat, and the bar of the shower curtain to land on my throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 328

You deserved it 3 192

By JJ - 21/03/2016 19:06 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, I, a vampire-pale girl, went on a blind date with a very dark-skinned young man. We got on like a house on fire, and everything was going smoothly until we leant in for the kiss. I was wearing makeup and no setting spray. He came away with half his face smudged snow white. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 494

You deserved it 9 536

By Anonymous - 28/03/2016 20:23 - United States

Today, I met a girl who was just as socially anxious as me. We spent the whole night staring at each other, then quickly looking away when the other person saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 803

You deserved it 2 687

By anonymous - 29/03/2016 22:50 - United Kingdom - Oxford

Today, while riding my bike in the rain to a counselling appointment about my depression, my shoelace came untied and got caught around my pedal, causing me to go flying off my bike directly in a huge muddy puddle right in front of a busy street of people. No one offered to help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 165

You deserved it 1 721

By Anonymous - 02/04/2016 09:23 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my sister called me a moron after I told her that no, healthy foods do not give you "negative calories". She's 21 and goes around telling everyone that she's an expert nutritionist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 532

You deserved it 1 653

By WendigogoAway - 15/08/2016 09:46 - United States - Toledo

Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to the sound of my cat knocking things over. It wasn't until my boyfriend sat upright and checked, that I realized it actually wasn't our cat, but my boyfriend's crazy ex-girlfriend trying to get into our second-story window. This isn't the first time she's done this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 749

You deserved it 1 031

WendigogoAway tells us more.

WendigogoAway 11

Tuesday 16 August 2016 15:02

OP here (I made this account after submitting this, I didn't think it would get accepted.) Basically after her constantly cheating on him, claiming he was abusive despite her being physically abusive to him, and lying all the time, he'd had enough and threw her out since she decided to keep going back and forth between him and another guy. (And she had the balls to claim she was pregnant with his kid, even though she was on birth control). She'd left a ton of her stuff, and even though he'd texted her/called her to tell her that if she didn't pick it up he'd throw it all out, she never replied or made any indication that she was going to pick it up. Suddenly she thinks it's a good idea to come at over at random times, climb the side of the house, and try to get in the window, saying she needs to get in the garage and get some old stuff. (I have no idea why, because there's literally nothing in there that is worth this much trouble.) The reason why she climbs the side of the house is because my boyfriend and I both live with his dad by paying rent and just living upstairs. His dad doesn't want her around the house anymore because of their previous arguments, which made the environment depressing, and the fact that she put a hole in the wall before. This was the last straw, she hadn't come around for months and after shooing her away this time, we're going to take legal action if it happens again. Neither of us knew how to properly react since it was so early in the morning that we just wanted to get some sleep. (I couldn't manage to fall asleep until at least 9AM)