laden_swallow09

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  • Buttfuck, USA
  • 89 years-old
  • Wednesday 23 June 1937
  • Not specified

About Laden_swallow09

They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back some of my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for. And why did they replace the YDI button with this stupid "Glad It Wasn't Me" bullshit? Making FML a more friendly and PC place? I dun geddit. Speaking of PC, this website is ageist against the elderly! Try changing your birthday and see what happens when you say you're born before 1936.

I like to point out stupidity whenever I see it, but that's likely why you're here on my profile, innit?

"It's now very common for them to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that,' as if that gives them certain rights. It's no more than a whine. It has no meaning. It has no purpose. It has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what?" – Stephen Fry, actor/comedian

If you're thinking about getting an iPhone 6/+, don't. They're way too big.

Oh, yeah. I almost forgot…
HEIL, SPELLCHECK!

Laden_swallow09 - Followers

nellie629

Laden_swallow09 - Followed

Laden_swallow09's page visits

Hugged!

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Laden_swallow09's FML badges

What'ch'all looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, but not necessarily pictures of your profile.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.

Work is a 4-letter word

Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

FAAAAAACEBOOK

Your FML account is now linked to your Facebook account.

The thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

The return of the thumb

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

I'm an early bird, but no worm yet

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 a.m.

Night owl

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You gave a Hug to someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Friendless, or not going out tonight?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1 a.m. Happy New Year!

Socialite

You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

50 quality comments

Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

100 kick-ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

50 favorites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!

It's in the can!

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Judgmental

You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.

YDI Master

You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I agree, my mouse works.

200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

A new thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

I'm a rock star

You have 100 followers. Your head's in the game.

Tommy Wiseau

You have 50 followers and we quite frankly don't know how you managed it.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Tweet, tweet

You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why.

Happy ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Tell us what happened next

You've commented on an FML that you sent in

Picture this FML

You left your mark on an illustrated FML’s presentation blog article.

I liked to the power of 20

You've liked 20 FMLs, and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs you liked.

My diary is a collector's item

There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one.

Gandhi

You have 200 followers. Everyone follows you. You should watch your mouth.

The list of badges to find

Laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 11/03/2012 23:19 - United States

Today, I watched Gigli. FML
I agree, your life sucks 9 325
You deserved it 29 234

Teh_dw33bin4tor tells us more.

Teh_dw33bin4tor 2

Hey, I am kind of astounded this made the front page, but I also realized that I wasn't logged in when I created and submitted this. I'm the OP. I should have phrased this better, but I was running out of room to create the FML. The actual story is that she flat-out broke up with me, and then went around and told all my friends, which happen to also be her friends too, that it was a mutual break-up, but it was my decision for the most part that split us apart, which effectively framed me as the "bad-guy". When I confronted her on it, she first denied telling her (our) friends this, then changed her story to "she couldn't think of what to say". All this while her new "boyfriend" (of 1 day) was helping her move out of my apartment. Sorry for the confusion in the phrasing.

Zatnikatel tells us more.

Zatnikatel 13

OP here to explain further, I'm a manager for a big and tall clothing store and hygiene is covered in the training manual. he was wearing the EXACT Same clothing everyday he worked(multiple days in a row). the stains, wrinkles, abd odor constantly increased. I really don't feel like I was bullying him and I even offered to help purchase him new clothes. he took offense to that as well and went on a rant about how his family is ridiculously wealthy. his work ethic was atrocious, he stopped every