dalm8n7

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Dalm8n7's favorite FMLs

By notmuchfun - 20/07/2010 21:17 - United States

Today, my mother continued her lifelong habit of talking to anyone who isn't white in extremely slow, exaggerated "caveman" English. She insists that she isn't being racist, but rather is helping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 483

You deserved it 4 691

By feartheend511 - 19/08/2010 15:48 - United States

Today, while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 197

You deserved it 3 662

Naughty boy

By Anonymous - 19/08/2010 17:36 - United States

Today, seconds after my mom put my Yorkie onto my bed, he threw up. His head was not fully over the bed itself, so the wet chunks fell straight into my backpack onto my new school books. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 401

You deserved it 3 593

By CrushAdrenaline - 27/08/2010 09:46 - Canada

Today, at a restaurant, I was joking around trying to make my friend laugh by pretending to be a ninja. I did this by putting my napkin in front of my face. I happened to look over at another table and saw that a lady wearing a burqa was giving me the most evil glare I have ever seen in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 736

You deserved it 21 390

CrushAdrenaline tells us more.

CrushAdrenaline 0

Friday 27 August 2010 19:38

:D My FML actually got posted. Is it bad that I feel proud?

Neighbors from hell

By Myself - 06/09/2010 10:45 - United States

Today, after a few months of my neighbor's friend parking outside his house and honking until he came outside, I happened to be out doing lawn work. I politely screamed, "STOP HONKING YOUR F***ING HORN!" To which they responded by moving in front of MY house and holding down their horn. I hate people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 532

You deserved it 17 001

By uselessdad - 07/09/2010 23:48 - Singapore

Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 091

You deserved it 8 521

By Lauren - 08/09/2010 23:13 - Australia

Today, a little girl asked me how I could be so fat and still have small boobs. Great question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 653

You deserved it 8 150

By notyouagain - 03/10/2010 07:40 - Australia

Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year-old son answered the door and when he saw me said, "Oh great, it's YOU!" and slammed the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 612

You deserved it 4 952

I don't get paid enough for this

By Anonymous - 05/10/2010 09:41 - United States

Today, I was at work on a smoke break. I work at a truck stop, and it was around 2 a.m. Some old man pulled in and asked me if I would like to join him for some dinner. I said no, and told him I was working. He replied, "How much do you charge?" Apparently, even in sweats I look like a hooker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 397

You deserved it 6 730

HOW COULD YOU?

By mylifesuckssss - 09/10/2010 04:39 - United States

Today, I received a 7-page text message during school from my mom yelling at me because I ate her cereal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 976

You deserved it 5 952

Opportunist

By Mick - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865 821

You deserved it 95 127

By Kasizzle - 26/02/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 161

You deserved it 42 124

Kasizzle tells us more.

Kasizzle 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 18:20

Well I dont think she will be coming back in, honestly the biggest pants I have ever seen. I am 6 foot and I could pretty much stand in the waist line of the pants. and we had to charge her 5 dollars more. Needless to say the presser was PISSED. I could not say "one item" because the dry cleaners I work at does not charge the same price for every item ( Like a lot do). I did give her a discount though because I felt so bad.

By thankskimi - 15/03/2009 18:29 - United States

Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568 535

You deserved it 40 621