ferndo33

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The Dalles, USA
31 years-old
Tuesday 15 November 1994
In a relationship

About Ferndo33

I'm Fernando!! :D

Message meh!(;

Ferndo33 - Followers

Ferndo33 - Followed

Ferndo33's page visits

lovers5201

Hugged!

Ferndo33's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Socialite

You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

50 favorites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

It's in the can!

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Judgmental

You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

Tommy Wiseau

You have 50 followers and we quite frankly don't know how you managed it.

I'm a rock star

You have 100 followers. Your head's in the game.

The return of the thumb

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

100 kick-ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

A new thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

50 quality comments

Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I agree, my mouse works.

200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

YDI Master

You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.

Gandhi

You have 200 followers. Everyone follows you. You should watch your mouth.

The list of badges to find

Ferndo33's favorite FMLs

Spice up your love life

By screwed - 04/11/2012 09:55 - United States

Today, my hubby and I decided to spice up our sex life and went to an adult toy store. We know too many people in our town, so we drove to one that was 30 minutes away. We decided on our items, and went to the check out. Who would have guessed my next door neighbor works there as a cashier? FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 810

You deserved it 5 492

By spiderwoman - 04/11/2012 17:12 - Iceland - Reykjav

Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 746

You deserved it 13 586

By i fking love docb - 04/11/2012 21:16 - Virgin Islands, U.S. - Christiansted

Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 816

You deserved it 3 355

By CircusSea - 05/11/2012 00:02 - Puerto Rico - Carolina

Today, I work on a cruise ship, and I just learned that we have a morgue on board. How did I learn that? It's right next to the crew laundry room, and I opened the wrong door. It was occupied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 034

You deserved it 1 927

By sad - 05/11/2012 07:02 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, I was eating a fancy dinner with my girlfriend at a restaurant. Suddenly, my ex-girlfriend, who was seemingly still angry after our breakup 2 years ago, saw me through the window. She walked in, took my spaghetti dinner, shoved it in my face, and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 868

You deserved it 3 490

By liquorless - 05/11/2012 14:02 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, my girlfriend's mother came over for a few hours. After she left I went to grab a drink, only to find that three bottles of expensive liquor were missing from our liquor cabinet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 205

You deserved it 1 963

By Kallian - 09/11/2012 06:47 - Australia

Today, my friend showed me a video of me in a nightclub. I was holding two Skittles vodka shots and shouting, "Red and green, merry Kwanzaa!" The shots were yellow and purple. I can't remember that night at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 809

You deserved it 28 047

Kallian_fml tells us more.

Kallian_fml 21

Friday 9 November 2012 17:02

18- It WAS a shit faced awesome night. 12- Yeah, I kinda was tripping.

By SebastianMiko - 09/11/2012 07:18 - Canada - Calgary

Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 157

You deserved it 2 333

By Gangnam - 16/11/2012 15:52 - Sweden - Bromma

Today, while at a red light, a guy in a tux and sunglasses doing the Gangnam Style passed over the crossing, followed by a man with a video camera. This isn't the first time I've stopped for people doing a Gangnam Style parody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 622

You deserved it 3 987

I'm so hot and lonely

By lonely dreams - 01/01/2013 17:26 - United States - Reno

Today, I have been single and out of the game for so long that instead of having real wet dreams, I now dream about jacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 435

You deserved it 6 810

By catdog - 02/01/2013 06:07 - United States - West Sacramento

Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 584

You deserved it 4 536

Try it, you never know…

By Anonymous - 02/01/2013 10:34 - United States - Sanford

Today, my husband came home with a bunch of realistic-looking wigs for women. When I asked them what they were for, he said he wanted to spice up our sex life with them. When I told him I refused to wear a wig, he said in a very serious tone that I wasn't going to be the one wearing them, he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 381

You deserved it 7 083

Freak out

By Anonymous - 02/01/2013 19:02 - Canada - Belle River

Today, at a house party, I finally got the guy I've been seeing alone in his room. We started making out, and I got on top of him to take control. He responded by saying he couldn't do it because he needed to go make pizza for his friends, and then bolted out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 104

You deserved it 9 917

By Anonymous - 08/01/2013 05:20 - United States

Today, I got into an accident on my motorcycle. When I told my wife that the doctor said I couldn't have sex for two weeks, she couldn't contain her joy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 068

You deserved it 8 767

By troll of a gran - 08/01/2013 17:10 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 860

You deserved it 4 872

By ugh - 09/01/2013 01:01 - United States - Saint Clair Shores

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 791

You deserved it 3 234

By veggieluver - 16/01/2013 00:58 - United States - Scarsdale

Today, my grandfather asked me why the broccoli I served for dinner was white. I told him it was cauliflower. He would't believe me, accused me of being a Russian spy, and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 006

You deserved it 3 253

By Keastwood013 - 18/01/2013 15:25 - United States

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 814

You deserved it 4 171

By maybe dead in a day - 20/01/2013 19:28 - United States - Buffalo

Today, my boyfriend of three days met up with me at the movie theater, sporting a crude tattoo of my face on his cheek, along with a love heart and the word "forever." Looks like I'm single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 912

You deserved it 4 254

By chase - 25/01/2013 00:54 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 236

You deserved it 53 301