aja411

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About Aja411

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Aja411's favorite FMLs

By NotALuckyGuy - 07/04/2015 16:19 - United States - Columbus

Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 043

You deserved it 47 443

By Anonymous - 07/04/2015 21:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 074

You deserved it 4 695

By Anonymous - 08/04/2015 17:19 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, I walked in on my 17-year-old brother jerking it to a scene from the movie Frozen. Brain bleach, please. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 390

You deserved it 4 657

The heat of the moment

By righthook - 08/04/2015 19:56 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 927

You deserved it 8 677

By PrettySureItsReal - 09/04/2015 19:38 - United States - Saint Peters

Today, a parent of one of the students I teach called me to complain that I was teaching her child "lies" and "fairytales". I was teaching them about the Holocaust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 105

You deserved it 2 220

By Sarah - 09/04/2015 20:24 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I told my younger brother that I'm a lesbian. Now he keeps asking me if I want to play rock, paper, vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 035

You deserved it 5 491

By ShampooThief - 12/04/2015 03:05 - United States

Today, my family checked into a hotel for spring break. The first thing my brother did was steal all the bars of soap and bottles of shampoo. He's now guarding them, and hissing at anyone that tries to take them. I just want to take a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 716

You deserved it 3 032

By whymanwhy - 13/04/2015 10:43 - Czech Republic

Today, I went on a date with a cute guy I met at a bookstore. He stood up and said he was leaving when I said that I didn't like 50 Shades of Grey, because he, "doesn't want to be near a bitch who doesn't know her place". He then told me to give him a ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 237

You deserved it 3 352

The downside of nepotism

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Canada - Cornwall

Today, I thought my dad was finally showing interest in the business I started last year when he asked about my next event. Nope, he just wanted to know if I would hire his step-granddaughter. Her first question? "So, I won't have to do any like, real work right?" Gee, thanks Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 791

You deserved it 2 411

Inappropriate

By Pandistoteles - 14/04/2015 21:17 - United States

Today, I took my 5-year-old daughter to the play place at McDonald's but I had to keep her busy, instead of letting her play. A mom was teaching her 3-year-old daughter how to pole dance, using the play place's poles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 560

You deserved it 2 734

By Evra - 16/04/2015 05:04 - United States

Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 321

You deserved it 6 138

By Keladrylady - 18/04/2015 00:47 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my boyfriend when he started squeezing me as if I were a ketchup bottle. He said he wanted my period to end quicker, and he honestly thought that would work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 231

You deserved it 3 527

Keladrylady tells us more.

Keladrylady 24

Sunday 19 April 2015 8:50

OP here, My bf happened to be half asleep and as such is rather blond when so. (So no, he doesn't need sex ed as it has little to do with this topic per say). Him squeezing me whilst on my period has been a discussion point over the 6yrs we've been together, as yes, if done right, literally (TMI) squeezes out (insert words) and I really hate it, (guys, think of it as similar feeling to wetting yourself accidentally, it's a really yuck feeling). Thanks though for your comments and FYL's. :3 you've made us both laugh til our cheeks were sore. So again Thanks.

The classic argument

By assault and imnotracistbuttery - 18/04/2015 04:57 - United States - Waxahachie

Today, I got into an argument with my racist brother after he opened his god damn stupid mouth in front of my girlfriend. He actually tried to convince me that he's not a racist, because one of his favorite types of porn is black girls getting fucked by white guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 387

You deserved it 3 073

By Anonymus - 18/04/2015 07:01 - Sweden

Today, I read my 10-year-old sister's diary. That's how I found out about her disturbingly detailed plan to murder me, make it look like suicide, date my boyfriend after helping him get over my death, then marry him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 173

You deserved it 5 505

By Anonymous - 19/04/2015 14:04 - United States - Lawrence

Today, my boyfriend let out a horrible fart in the middle of sex. Even though it was clearly his, he gave me disgusted look, called me a dirty bitch, then kept going. Let's just say I didn't finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 995

You deserved it 3 606

By Anonymous - 20/04/2015 14:45 - United Kingdom - Leicester

Today, I had a theatre performance. I had to put on a lot of makeup for the role, and one of the guys said I looked nice. I smiled and said thanks. Seconds later, I'd been sucker-punched by his girlfriend for "flirting" with her man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 452

You deserved it 2 246

By LolaBell - 24/04/2015 14:12 - United States - Brookfield

Today, my husband admitted that he's been spying on me for the last 5 years to see if I was cheating, out of paranoia brought on by his own cheating for all 5 of those years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 741

You deserved it 2 235

Ransomware

By Anonymous - 25/04/2015 03:23 - United States

Today, my little sister filled the huge house I spent over a week building in Minecraft with TNT. She then demanded I give her all the money in my wallet, or she'd blow it all up. She's now $86.25 richer, and my parents think it's too hilarious to make her give me my money back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 512

You deserved it 26 781

By Junkiegamer - 27/04/2015 14:20 - United States - Huntsville

Today, due to awkward circumstances, I am living with my ex-girlfriend and her new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 472

You deserved it 3 956

Junkiegamer tells us more.

Junkiegamer 26

Tuesday 28 April 2015 15:06

Hey it Op, for one I am a male. The break-up wasn't fun, but it wasn't horrible. We lived together before hand because we go to college together and I offered to let her new girlfriend stay here, because she had nowhere else to go. I'm not sure what the word is but my ex loves people for who they are, gender doesn't really to her

By Anonymous - 29/04/2015 17:42 - United States - Schaumburg

Today, I kept hearing a child creepily giggling in my living room. I couldn't sleep and got so scared that I started considering hiring an exorcist. Long story short: be careful if you have Bluetooth speakers, because your dickhead neighbor might hack them and start fucking with you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 897

You deserved it 5 254