katey_baybee

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One more and it's business time

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Katey_baybee's favorite FMLs

By oliviakelly25 - 09/10/2009 06:41 - United States

Today, three months after finally ending a long relationship with the love of my life because he was cheating on me, we are now seeing each other again. And cheating on our new significant others with each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 060

You deserved it 87 129

It's not?

By 310 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he always thought the female orgasm was an urban legend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 227

You deserved it 4 157

By creepermagnet - 10/10/2009 19:16 - United States

Today, I rear-ended a car on the parkway. We pulled over, the guy told me his car was fine, and then asked me out on a date. It was only when I said no that he decided he wanted his car fixed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 958

You deserved it 18 857

By Few_Absolutes - 12/10/2009 18:10 - United States

Today, at work, my stomach hurt and I passed gas for relief. Moments later, I discovered that my loose, silent "fart" was actually a wet, sneaky shart. The mess was beyond repair; I had to fake a family emergency and crept out of the office so that my coworkers wouldn't see my obvious crap stain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 264

You deserved it 8 824

Few_Absolutes tells us more.

Few_Absolutes 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 19:23

Wellllll ... I'm not 100% sure that someone DIDN'T see it. People are such backstabbers in my office that no one would ever say it to your face; they'd just gossip about you at the water cooler.

By IMayBeAFool - 13/10/2009 06:38 - United States

Today, after I'd spent $3,000 dollars in preparations to move in with my girlfriend of 2 and 1/2 years, she confessed she's a mental patient who stole someone else's identity. She was telling the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 299

You deserved it 3 818

By PanFace - 13/10/2009 06:54 - Australia

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 131

You deserved it 121 489

By tooflufoschool - 14/10/2009 13:00 - United States

Today, I was in bed sick from pneumonia. I asked my boyfriend to nuke a can of soup for me. He said "in a sec, let me finish this game" and continued to play on his Xbox for an hour. Starving, I crawled out to make soup. When I sat down to eat, he paused the game and asked "you didn't make me any?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 914

You deserved it 5 540

By gooddriver - 15/10/2009 03:18 - United States

Today, I was involved in a wreck. How quickly did the police arrive at the scene? Very quickly, considering he was the one who rear-ended me at a red light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 776

You deserved it 2 101

By Em - 15/10/2009 06:12 - France

Today, my boyfriend accidentally called me from his pocket. I thought it would be funny to see what him and his friends were talking about. I laughed when I heard him talking about us fooling around until I realized it wasn't me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 356

You deserved it 3 640

Domestic bliss

By Good_old_Grim - 15/10/2009 13:51 - Latvia

Today, I stumbled upon my girlfriend's Twitter account that I didn't know existed. A recent entry states that living with me is pathetic; "it's just that the current economical situation doesn't leave her with many options." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 807

You deserved it 2 833

Typecast

By nerd - 16/10/2009 15:08 - Singapore

Today, I was on cloud nine when the beautiful waitress I frequently ordered takeaways from told me she didn't need to take my name as she remembers me from before. When I got my food, I saw the sales slip. On it she had written, "Cheeseburger - Fries - Coke - Nerdy guy with bad haircut." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 440

You deserved it 5 773

By Sbfreak510 - 16/10/2009 16:30 - France

Today, I was in a hurry to get to work and I put on yesterday's jeans. While at my meeting an employee asked me if 'that' was mine and pointed to something on the floor next to me. Which was yesterday's underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 320

You deserved it 31 167

Watcha doin'?

By DamnThatsHarsh - 16/10/2009 18:04 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were fooling around on camera. I was mostly naked and putting on a show for her, when I noticed that she was looking off to the side instead of where she normally looks when she's talking to me. She was playing solitaire on her computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 470

You deserved it 4 372

By Anonwymous - 18/10/2009 10:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my fiancé's daughter to use her phone so I could call mine which I'd misplaced. Busy with homework, she nodded. Only after she jumped up did I notice that she had my number listed with a humiliating nickname, and accompanied by a photo of her middle finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 989

You deserved it 5 536

By Anonymous - 18/10/2009 10:52 - Australia

Today, I handed out 30 resumes only to find out, after the last resume was handed out, my brother had changed the last sentence of every paragraph to 'I am a massive douche bag.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 937

You deserved it 7 790

By dyingtinkerbell - 18/10/2009 11:14 - Australia

Today, I went to my company's HR manager to ask what the procedure was to file a sexual harassment complaint since my boss exposed himself to me. His response was that the procedure is to "get over it." And he went back to reading. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 950

You deserved it 4 437

It's not what you think

By tessykins - 22/10/2009 07:41 - United States

Today, this guy who likes me accused me of cutting myself. I asked him what he was talking about, and he said, "Don't lie, I saw those scars on your thighs when we went swimming." I have stretch marks on my inner thighs, and now I have to explain them to him so he doesn't think I cut myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 400

You deserved it 3 307

Kinky

By sad_dad - 24/10/2009 17:35 - Canada

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower. Instead, I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 302

You deserved it 10 382

By Granny - 24/10/2009 21:14 - United Kingdom

Today, I was having a nice moment with my granddaughter as she was being affectionate by stroking my face. We were both quite content, until she said, "Aw, Grandma, your skin feels just like a crocodile." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 984

You deserved it 3 490

By stixx - 25/10/2009 17:18 - United States

Today, I got a new cat. I tried to reenact the opening scene from Lion King, where in Simba gets held up for everyone to see. The fan was on when I lifted my cat up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 703

You deserved it 75 577