Today, I asked my boyfriend if there's a reason why he has never gone down on me. He responded, "Your back door is too close to your front door and it creeps me out." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend threatened to break up with me because I still close the door when I go to the bathroom. He pees and poops with the door wide open and expects me to do the same. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend flat out refuses to ever give me oral because it grosses him out when I squirt, and there's no way he wants that anywhere near his face. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that it's "disgusting" to wash your "rear end" and that he has never, and will never, do it. FML
Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel like a child molester. FML
Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me and said, "Knock knock!" He refused to continue until I replied, "Come in." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend why we never have sex anymore. He said, "Honestly, you lie there with your arms balled up against your chest, you don't moan or give any indication that you're enjoying things. It makes me really uncomfortable." FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML
Today, my boyfriend of six months said he wanted to take our relationship one step further. I thought he was going to ask me to move in. He meant he wanted to fart in front of me. FML
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Top comments
RedPillSucks 33
Well, he's right. Get a bigger house so the back and front doors aren't so close together. Or you could have sex in the dark, then he'll never know.
FYLDeep 26
I see his point. He probably doesn't want to have to look at your vag at all when he's going down on your asshole.
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Comments (107)
tucansam555 3
its not like 69 where ur ass is at his nose if you just go down ur nose is at the ******....wat a puss
TheSofaKing 7
When Aunt Flo is at the front door, you go to the back door.
TheSofaKing 7
Pussy is like the Mafia, one slip of the toung, you are in deep .....
22cute 17
I'm creeped out that you're still going out with a guy who won't go down on you.
cornix 0
Sorry but your boyfriend is actually gay or you are really unattractive. Can't see any straight guy saying that. I for one love it, it's even better than the actual thing.
TheSofaKing 7
Shower together and clean each others goodies
towboatdude 0
If he is unwilling to go down. And is afraid of the back door. Kick his ass to the curb. From the way I read it. He's a wuss a winey little bitch. Go find someone that will hit that back door for you. Just send me some pics. And I might just come hit it for you. Because sometimes you just gotta bust up in through the back door.
D0MR0G3 3
I just lick both of them he should to it's no big deal
gordodestroyo 0
if god was a city planner he wouldn't put a playground next to a waste station
stephanie911_fml 0
Someone's PMS'ing( :