Today, I asked my boyfriend if there's a reason why he has never gone down on me. He responded, "Your back door is too close to your front door and it creeps me out." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend threatened to break up with me because I still close the door when I go to the bathroom. He pees and poops with the door wide open and expects me to do the same. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend flat out refuses to ever give me oral because it grosses him out when I squirt, and there's no way he wants that anywhere near his face. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that it's "disgusting" to wash your "rear end" and that he has never, and will never, do it. FML
Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel like a child molester. FML
Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me and said, "Knock knock!" He refused to continue until I replied, "Come in." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend why we never have sex anymore. He said, "Honestly, you lie there with your arms balled up against your chest, you don't moan or give any indication that you're enjoying things. It makes me really uncomfortable." FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML
Today, my boyfriend of six months said he wanted to take our relationship one step further. I thought he was going to ask me to move in. He meant he wanted to fart in front of me. FML
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Top comments
RedPillSucks 33
Well, he's right. Get a bigger house so the back and front doors aren't so close together. Or you could have sex in the dark, then he'll never know.
FYLDeep 26
I see his point. He probably doesn't want to have to look at your vag at all when he's going down on your asshole.
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Comments (107)
mikelee1808 0
lol that's ****** up
CalvinHopkins 0
Clean you butt-hole out real good, buy one of those flavored condoms, then put it on your finger. After that finger yourself for a bit. Then ask him to eat you out. I don't know if it'll work though.
wewillnotgrowold 0
If he isn't willing to get near your asshole, he just lost his man card.
zkchild 0
Well it is a scary thought if you think about it. What if it's dark you might end up getting the wrong hole.
chocolatebabe88 0
he shud be gay then problem solved
chyeaa_bri 12
he's afraid of back doors, why would he be gay? LOL.
22cute 17
Dump the guy if he won't try. That's a deal breaker for sure.
adamcole20 0
u either need to clean ur booty hole or find someone to clean ur booty hole cuz I can smell ur stank from here
teehhee 0
how does he no if u haven't even ****** each other yet? usually you don't just walk around naked without doing it yet
wintamint101 7
when i first read this i thought you meant the house doors...my baad
Caitycandid 2
Exotically erotic? :)