Today, I asked my boyfriend if there's a reason why he has never gone down on me. He responded, "Your back door is too close to your front door and it creeps me out." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend threatened to break up with me because I still close the door when I go to the bathroom. He pees and poops with the door wide open and expects me to do the same. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend flat out refuses to ever give me oral because it grosses him out when I squirt, and there's no way he wants that anywhere near his face. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that it's "disgusting" to wash your "rear end" and that he has never, and will never, do it. FML
Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel like a child molester. FML
Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me and said, "Knock knock!" He refused to continue until I replied, "Come in." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend why we never have sex anymore. He said, "Honestly, you lie there with your arms balled up against your chest, you don't moan or give any indication that you're enjoying things. It makes me really uncomfortable." FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML
Today, my boyfriend of six months said he wanted to take our relationship one step further. I thought he was going to ask me to move in. He meant he wanted to fart in front of me. FML
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Top comments
RedPillSucks 33
Well, he's right. Get a bigger house so the back and front doors aren't so close together. Or you could have sex in the dark, then he'll never know.
FYLDeep 26
I see his point. He probably doesn't want to have to look at your vag at all when he's going down on your asshole.
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Comments (107)
califbob 3
I'd much rather eat in the what's in the attic than what's in the basement - any day!
5t3ff1k4h 45
I wasn't trying to be attractive, nor was I trying to attract the likes of you. I prefer my men intelligent, which is why mine is just that. Thanks, but it's best not be wasting the luck on someone like me if you'll be needing it yourself.
5t3ff1k4h 45
*facepalm* I am not continuing this conversation any further. You sir, are an idiot, and cannot assume something like that just from what I've said. Carry on your wanking elsewhere. Thanks.
louie111887 0
number seven's comment is win ! hilarious
ROFLBERRYPIE 0
Seriously there's nothing wrong with going down on a girl's butthole. It's super hott and she'll love you for it! OP next time grab him by the head, flip over and plant his face in there and don't let him out until he's good to go!
franwins0827 7
He clearly needs to spend more time looking at females' downstairs - do him a favor and buy him a few Playboys and Hustler mags so he can see that all women aren't the same.
FlavaMash 1
"Knock" "Knock" whose there?
blakester198 0
I don't get it.....he's not used to people having back doors? I understand what u mean by backdoor but unless it is inside your front door I don't see what the problem is...
nerdsgetmehot 23
Sounds like your boyfriend needs to grow up. If he were to lick close to your anus, then he'd be licking in the wrong spot anyway. The ******** isn't that far down...
athenaxdivine 0
I agree! Seriously OP dump him. I would have laughed at him, and told him he must be gay.
ewe1234 5
win!!
valri3 0
Someone please explain this to me. No sarcasm please because I know it involves sex.
jomotto 3
Front Door = ****** Back Door= Anus Then He basically refused lick her clítoris (oral sex) because He states that Her anus and ****** are too close together .. The fact is that ever woman have her anus closer to the ****** than a men doee from His ass To his penis, so it looks like eigther He is gay or just not very familiar with te female body. Both cases sucks , Well not really I guess thats actualy the whole point ....
Dracoboxer357 36
89- I know there is virtually no chance you'll read this now, but I'll explain it for the hell of it anyways: OP's boyfriend isn't comfortable performing oral sex on her because he thinks her anus is too close to her ******. In all the times I've gone down on a girl, not once have I accidentally missed and licked her pucker, this isn't really a legitimate concern.