Today, my boyfriend of six months said he wanted to take our relationship one step further. I thought he was going to ask me to move in. He meant he wanted to fart in front of me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting down on one knee, he farted. FML
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML
Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to fart in our bathtub to see if it would echo. It wasn’t a fart. FML
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Top comments
thisgirl2u 9
How exciting!! Hey it takes baby steps to make it anywhere. :) But on a side note, how on earth did you think he was ready to invite you in when you two don't yet feel comfortable enough to pass gas in one another's presence??
allmidnighteyes 11
"Today my boyfriend is comfortable with himself around me. FML" You fart too, OP. Unless you're a robot. If you don't fart, you'll spontaneously combust into a fireball of fart fire.
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Comments (126)
drakem 7
how did it smell?
unidentified_sta 5
Like love
VeeVengeance 0
and sweet romance
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
the hottest thing any girl can do is learn to love a mans fart. if a woman like the smell of her mans fart he'll be putty in her hands.I have passed this lesson down to my kids as well.
MissLizWolf 8
48: your profile picture... is amazing. I would very much like to own a 'used pad costume' also.(:
MnBran6 0
55, don't forget to teach them what happens when they shave our backs ;) . @OP dude has his priorities straight.
Serec 0
owwwouuurrrowww!!!!
randall_doak 4
#55, if you truly have reproduced, then I feel sorry for the world... I truly do........
iheart 0
what is it with guys and gas? o.O
mfmylifesrsly 30
girls can do it too lol. OP be glad he's comfortable enough around you to do that, unless he just is plain gross
Sadochan 0
Whats with girls and holding it in like *******?
KingDingALing 9
No, what is it with girls and queefing? I just farted!
5t3ff1k4h 47
33 - If you had a gaping hole in which air was pushed, you would also expel it in the same manner.
KingDingALing 9
Gaping hole?
mfmylifesrsly 30
33, we cant help when we queef during sex...well usually...
KingDingALing 9
Guys, on the other hand, CAN help it. We just choose not to! :p
Bano360 25
we're to fart around women. but it's bad to hold them in. so if the woman is comfortable with it, it makes us happy.
randall_doak 4
Haha #35, if your hole is gaping, I feel sorry for you, and whoever has to **** you next HAHAHAHA!!!!
5t3ff1k4h 47
Not once did I imply MY hole was gaping. Please learn the tools used in the English language. This one is called an exaggeration, in simpler terms.
JessieKayGreen 13
dude i know righttt o . o
iEmily 0
Gross.
Wizardroxx 3
Fail.
Just_Me_143 0
Yes, also a repeat. Except the old one was about ******** with the door open.
Wizardroxx 3
I remember that... nice memory. I swear, these FML's get unoriginal throughout time.
ydi_4_suking 20
Take it a step further. And start to shart
ImJustMosh 0
What's sharting?
Doortje 30
JFGI. Although now you're probably gonna ask what that means...
thisgirl2u 9
No, I'm not going to ask. I'm going to Google it.
skyttlz 32
When you fart but shit yourself.
sarinasusu 2
Nahh she should tell him if he farts their sex days are over(:
AthinaMarie 0
Yep thats a step up the commitment ladder. o_O
thisgirl2u 9
How exciting!! Hey it takes baby steps to make it anywhere. :) But on a side note, how on earth did you think he was ready to invite you in when you two don't yet feel comfortable enough to pass gas in one another's presence??
Cinn_fml 23
^Valid point. So long as he doesn't do it all the time and it basically means that he's comfortable to be human around you, it's not a problem.
Kawaiichan42 3
I was going to say something along the same lines. Humans are sometimes disgusting, and if you want to live with anybody, you have to be able to be comfortable with the lovely side of them, as well as the more vile side. I'm sure he'll ask you to move in soon, like 9 said, it takes baby steps.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Hey Kawaii. Nice to see you 'round again.
Kawaiichan42 3
Hey. Nice to see you again, too, IrishJane.
Medicine 0
Because making you endure his bodily functions only shows that he respects you. FYL.
McMan 23
And you "needz" a grammer lesson or a proper lesson in 1337 speak.
FarrahSayzRawrrr 0
^^exactly the next step will be burp then after that move in n maybe get married!!! Jussss take it one step at a time lol