Today, I asked my boyfriend if there's a reason why he has never gone down on me. He responded, "Your back door is too close to your front door and it creeps me out." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend threatened to break up with me because I still close the door when I go to the bathroom. He pees and poops with the door wide open and expects me to do the same. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend flat out refuses to ever give me oral because it grosses him out when I squirt, and there's no way he wants that anywhere near his face. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that it's "disgusting" to wash your "rear end" and that he has never, and will never, do it. FML
Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel like a child molester. FML
Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me and said, "Knock knock!" He refused to continue until I replied, "Come in." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend why we never have sex anymore. He said, "Honestly, you lie there with your arms balled up against your chest, you don't moan or give any indication that you're enjoying things. It makes me really uncomfortable." FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML
Today, my boyfriend of six months said he wanted to take our relationship one step further. I thought he was going to ask me to move in. He meant he wanted to fart in front of me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RedPillSucks 33
Well, he's right. Get a bigger house so the back and front doors aren't so close together. Or you could have sex in the dark, then he'll never know.
FYLDeep 26
I see his point. He probably doesn't want to have to look at your vag at all when he's going down on your asshole.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (107)
atalanta 0
that's messed up! tell his ass he better get used to it or you won't go down on him! that'll fix him!
nerdsgetmehot 23
#166 Organisedchaos, you usually comment intelligently and make valid points. However, I wouldn't count harassing and belittling 5t3ff1k4h among your finest moments.
karmaslave 5
Well, you can tell him the same thing the next time he's whining about how you should go down on him more.
nerdsgetmehot 23
I'm guessing you don't give a shit, and I didn't really expect you to. Belittling people seems to be a regular item on your daily agenda. I just thought it would be worth my time to stand up for 5t3ff1k4h, seeing as how I'm usually a fan of her intelligent comments.
nerdsgetmehot 23
#175 Well, at least you read my comment! That's really all I ask, so I'm satisfied. :P
5t3ff1k4h 45
Thanks, nerds. It seems he wishes to be the only one who holds intelligence on this site; he gets offended and throws a temper tantrum when anyone else shows any form of intelligence. OC - I have nothing left to say to you. You've been attempting to belittle me for the better part of a week now, not mentioning all the previous times... You've well proven that you're all about the insults since your arguments have little other value.
jrad1982 0
it's all good oc, when she's 60 she won't be able to hold her bowel in, and her awesome intelligent bf can get her depends as a stocking stuffer.
5t3ff1k4h 45
I can't believe this discussion. Hey, dude, did you read the part where I said it doesn't happen often? It's not like I'm doing it every weekend! And, I'm pretty sure there are preventative measures; they don't work 100%, nothing does, but they work enough, according to my doctor. By then, I would hope he's not my boyfriend; something more is preferable.
HomeAl0ne 20
Fair enough, that's a good reason. I don't mean that I agree with with, but I can at least comprehend it. It seems like doesn't like the idea of having his mouth (and probably anything else) close to your anus. It's nothing personal about you. I have no idea if you like any sort of anal stimulation or not but, even if you don't, he's not going to be comfortable about going down on you. If that's important to you then you could ask him if there is anything you could do to remove that concern (washing, position etc). If he still says no, and that's a deal breaker for you, then move on. As for him, there are girls that have opinions and preferences that will dovetail with his perfectly.
cheeksMcgeeks 3
Well then just take your ****** and push it somewhere else.