Today, I asked my boyfriend if there's a reason why he has never gone down on me. He responded, "Your back door is too close to your front door and it creeps me out." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend threatened to break up with me because I still close the door when I go to the bathroom. He pees and poops with the door wide open and expects me to do the same. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend flat out refuses to ever give me oral because it grosses him out when I squirt, and there's no way he wants that anywhere near his face. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that it's "disgusting" to wash your "rear end" and that he has never, and will never, do it. FML
Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel like a child molester. FML
Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me and said, "Knock knock!" He refused to continue until I replied, "Come in." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend why we never have sex anymore. He said, "Honestly, you lie there with your arms balled up against your chest, you don't moan or give any indication that you're enjoying things. It makes me really uncomfortable." FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML
Today, my boyfriend of six months said he wanted to take our relationship one step further. I thought he was going to ask me to move in. He meant he wanted to fart in front of me. FML
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Top comments
RedPillSucks 33
Well, he's right. Get a bigger house so the back and front doors aren't so close together. Or you could have sex in the dark, then he'll never know.
FYLDeep 26
I see his point. He probably doesn't want to have to look at your vag at all when he's going down on your asshole.
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Comments (107)
CrazyManNo9 29
Probably kick his butt out the door. Or, no more front door until he takes care of the back door, but is he worth that? Nah.
rextasy 0
Maybe he has a large overbite!
antoinemartinez 0
he doesn't kno what he's missing ;)
jckbco 0
Proof that God is an engineer... who else puts a sewage plant in a recreation area?
5t3ff1k4h 45
One last thing - Krispy: I have a boyfriend. Even if I didn't, I would be in no way attracted to this moron. Draminicaus - Thank you. That's why I said (and will follow through with unless I see something funny) my comment about leaving.
5t3ff1k4h 45
What are you, my mom? Let me spell it out for you. Yes I am aware. No, I do not do it often. Any questions?
5t3ff1k4h 45
Sigh. My "attraction" to it, if you must call it that, is obvious. It feels good. I thought even you could pick up on that one... NEXT.
5t3ff1k4h 45
So much for that promise of no insults etc, eh? Good lord, OC. Take the suppository out of your ass. If it feels good, it feels good and nothing more needs to be said about it.
evilshade 0
YDI for giving bj's and expectin something in return. Lol moron
astm 0
Well... he has a point