Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me and said, "Knock knock!" He refused to continue until I replied, "Come in." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML
Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML
Today, my very quiet and sexually innocent boyfriend said, "I want to be inside you." I was so startled that all I could reply was, "Oh, thanks." FML
Today, in the middle of sex with my boyfriend, my visiting brother knocked on the door saying he'd want to hear the details later. My boyfriend said, "Sure", and kept going. FML
Today, I met up with my boyfriend early before work to have some "fun time". We hadn't had sex in a while and decided to try it doggy style, up against the wall. We had been doing it for about 15 minutes until he abruptly stopped and said, "I don't know if it's in." It was. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's apartment. He started coming on to me so I pushed him away and said, "No chance." He said "Well, I'm horny, so I'm gonna take care of it myself. Can you go home now?" FML
Today, while my boyfriend was inside me, he got a text message. He actually stopped thrusting to reply. FML
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Top comments
youngsofly 13
So much win, give the guy a medal!
Calingaladha 21
I guess "Who's there?" wouldn't have been appropriate.
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Comments (103)
youngsofly 13
So much win, give the guy a medal!
TurtleSmile 14
It sounds clever to us, as none of us are currently approaching climax (I hope). But it would be quite the turn off to try word play in the bedroom.
sirpantselot 22
Glad I've never ****** you, 16. Puns are SEXY!
beccaishereyay 11
Exactly. How is this not adorable? Why would you want a boring guy anyway?
Isoldael 27
There are other ways for a guy to be interesting that aren't a complete turnoff in my opinion.
CaptainDipShit 0
16 - Bullshit! I'm using that one next time I get laid... Wait, that means I'll never get to use it, ****.
adamo_erebus 26
It's so that she can't call 'rape' later on. You know, since she let him com in.
gottalovecondoms 0
16 how do you know that Nobodies approaching Climax right now?
jackw428 6
That's why he added I hope... Why would you ********** to FML?
GypsyRover 0
Hummm,come in, and cum in are different things!
gojira666 7
20- probably also because 16 is a man
Big_lama6 7
You actually gave in and said it?
icameastito 3
haha if she gives in to that, then OP really wants the D!
itsharkley 8
And she didn't videotape with whispering narration. Why?
citymayer 7
Right?! I would have been like, "No way. Go **** yourself."
Maraudera 6
A little joke is hardly the worst thing that can happen during sex
aksweetheart 7
Ha,81- literally :D
lacespace 8
This was his version of a discussion on whether or not to have children. He votes yes.
trivel64 16
I hope you didn't get knocked up.
gc327072 31
66- so according to your profile, if I accept rule from the llama queen, does that mean you'll always thumb up my comments?
kyat288 9
When you're about to come, say something like 'Ready or not, here I come' to turn him off.
TellMeWhatsDeath 14
that doesn't really sound like a turn off..actually sounds pretty funny:'D
Enslaved 38
Ummm why would that turn him off? Many guys get turned on knowing they're making their girlfriend come.
noobienick 19
I don't know about anybody else, but that would get me even hornier
Caliborn_06 11
Should have told him you don't answer to solicitors ;)
onlychildFTW 34
Haha that would have been hilarious. But I have a feeling OP really wanted her BF in her. It sounds like she answered yes.
IworkAt711 14
Maybe hes a vampire.
lebronesque73091 12
You show have said no one's home.
88vivera 9
Lol
Fisheyedfool7 2
And I bet you folded like a wet towel and gave it up anyway. Tsk tsk
chellyX92 8
Tsk tsk? It's her boyfriend and he was having fun, what's so disappointing about it?
manimal98 5
He was just tryin to have a bit of fun an be spontaneous.
RaRaland 8
Should have let him keep knocking.
Calingaladha 21
I guess "Who's there?" wouldn't have been appropriate.
perdix 31
I'm wondering how many times she tried "Who's there?" before she finally got it right. Knock, knock Who's there? Cumin Cumin who? Cumin you. That's how it's done.
leeburns 5
Haha it was just his way making sure it was consensual sex
NeatNit 33
That or he's a vampire.