Today, I was watching TV when a Dentyne gum commercial came on and stated that the average person spends more than 20,000 minutes kissing. I've spent less than three. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was in the cinema making out with my girlfriend. I asked her if she could stop trying to pass me her gum because it was kinda gross. She replied, "It's not gum, I just have bronchitis." FML
Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend spitting the mouthwash back into the bottle, because, "this stuff is really expensive." FML
Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML
Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML
Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
Today, I talked to my crush for half an hour. It wasn't until I was home that I realised I had some remains of the sausage roll I ate an hour earlier spread all over my teeth. FML
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Top comments
luigisf 0
10-that is right about...a *****. you're too young.
Jessi_the_sexii 0
only 19997 minutes to go(:
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Comments (340)
lilkilla13 0
I have spent a whole 3 seconds kissing so chill op I'm 14 and no one at my school is hot If they were then that's a different story
hawty12345 0
I never said I was proud I was just telling that other girl that I have done that and in her face because it seems like she is proud. trust me I regret that! and I never would let a pervert guy take advantage of me.
happy_dino 6
You don't look 12 tho... ?
hawty12345 0
who the heck wuld b proud of that at 12 anyway?
unctarheel529 0
34 you need to re do your math that's only like 13 days
Emily_who_else 0
who are all these people that count the minutes they spend kissing? thats odd. i have never been like kiss me.... and time! yes that rounds me out to 11 hours of kissin' ..... this week. lol
Breeneefml12 0
number 10 you are a disgrace to 14 year olds and people like you need to go **** themselves
MaddenFann 0
i love how half the people onthis are NOT telling the truth at all. the people that say they have had days and days of kissing are the people that havnt kissed anyone before.. not saying its bad not to kiss anyone an tell u find the right person ..
imsosleepy 9
Wait, so the the average person spends 13.8 days of their life just kissing?
mitchem 3
ha I can beat that...Ima loser with a total of 0min...booyah....
ballerina27 0
that just means ur not average and i mean that in a good way :D
mitchem 3
is that pointed towards me? if so I appreciate it =]
mitchem 3
is that pointed towards me? if so I appreciate it =]