Today, I was watching TV when a Dentyne gum commercial came on and stated that the average person spends more than 20,000 minutes kissing. I've spent less than three. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was in the cinema making out with my girlfriend. I asked her if she could stop trying to pass me her gum because it was kinda gross. She replied, "It's not gum, I just have bronchitis." FML
Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend spitting the mouthwash back into the bottle, because, "this stuff is really expensive." FML
Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML
Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML
Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
Today, I talked to my crush for half an hour. It wasn't until I was home that I realised I had some remains of the sausage roll I ate an hour earlier spread all over my teeth. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
luigisf 0
10-that is right about...a *****. you're too young.
Jessi_the_sexii 0
only 19997 minutes to go(:
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (340)
Bekll 31
And...? I'm 23 and it's under 1 minute for me... mainly because kissing turns me off.
yaysmile 0
Wow, op, your life is so screwed because you haven't spent as much time kissing as a commercials says the average person has. its really not that big of a deal.
a_b_b_s 1
well look at it this way , you don't need to spend money on gum! you're giving consumerism the finger!:P
iamajew 0
no one spends 20,000 minutes kissing dentin ice comersales are full of ******* shit
Strangeone01 0
1. That "statistic" is based on a persons average life span and 2 if you have actually surpasses that statistic at age 14 I would have to say that you would be a *****.
21icefox 0
don't feel bad me too .
GreenReaper 13
I'm 16, 0 mins kissing, 0 dates. I choose not to because the only guys I know are either gay or taken (or jerks). Is it even a true statistic? How did they calculate it?
thrasher9081 0
yeah I have a younger sister who is 14. If i knew she was doing what these other kids say they do, I would not be happy at all. it's not something to be proud of, and you being proud of it shows how immature you really are. it's alright, OP. don't feel so down. you'll find that someone who will love you for you. life is so much more than that :)
athree 0
damn. fyl
SoulessRed 0
I've had zero, so quit complaining