Today, I was watching TV when a Dentyne gum commercial came on and stated that the average person spends more than 20,000 minutes kissing. I've spent less than three. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was in the cinema making out with my girlfriend. I asked her if she could stop trying to pass me her gum because it was kinda gross. She replied, "It's not gum, I just have bronchitis." FML
Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend spitting the mouthwash back into the bottle, because, "this stuff is really expensive." FML
Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML
Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML
Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
Today, I talked to my crush for half an hour. It wasn't until I was home that I realised I had some remains of the sausage roll I ate an hour earlier spread all over my teeth. FML
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Top comments
luigisf 0
10-that is right about...a *****. you're too young.
Jessi_the_sexii 0
only 19997 minutes to go(:
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Comments (340)
gossome 2
I like pie
iluvsoftball 0
thts better thn me I've never been kissed....
jsmith16 0
118: exactley
evfreak_fml 0
Quit bitching I've spent less than a minute. You're very ungrateful.
ninjasaurous 0
I've spent about 5 minutes kissing. Two of them kissing some kind of poster with Trey Songz. And I'm 15. 10 is a slluuutttt
myyprincessxo 4
agreeed (:
hawty12345 0
I've spent around 7 to 8 hours and I'm 12...there's more anyway.
Pro_Nothing 9
Maybe just sex, but they've never kissed a lot during sex or any other time. lol, a total of 10 hours sex and 3 mins kissing
gggfrt 0
ok... go get someone to kiss then!
sricious 0
you'll get your minutes!!:)
Mapholisto 7
I've probably spent around ten seconds. It would have stayed at zero had I not been taken by surprise the few times I've been kissed. Personally, I'd rather keep kisses special, and do so with only someone I'm really serious with. You shouldn't aim to reach this so-called "average."