Today, I was watching TV when a Dentyne gum commercial came on and stated that the average person spends more than 20,000 minutes kissing. I've spent less than three. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was in the cinema making out with my girlfriend. I asked her if she could stop trying to pass me her gum because it was kinda gross. She replied, "It's not gum, I just have bronchitis." FML
Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend spitting the mouthwash back into the bottle, because, "this stuff is really expensive." FML
Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML
Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML
Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
Today, I talked to my crush for half an hour. It wasn't until I was home that I realised I had some remains of the sausage roll I ate an hour earlier spread all over my teeth. FML
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Top comments
luigisf 0
10-that is right about...a *****. you're too young.
Jessi_the_sexii 0
only 19997 minutes to go(:
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Comments (340)
adsc04 0
maybe Op is just really young... if they are good for them not rushing. if they aren't there's nothing wrong with that. #10 might not be a **** or lying... If it was only with 1 person or 2 isn't that bad
maxrider 0
then you must not be average
X0WestyX0 0
I would say about how bad #10 is but i agree with #87....only because i KNOW a 14 year old that has had sex sooooooooo....but i'd say about the same as the OP :p only at least 3 minutes...or a little less...idk >.
5t3ff1k4h 47
I don't like some of the choices I've made in the past, but I was one of those 14 year olds that went out and had sex. I thought I was ready, I was with a boyfriend, whatever. It doesn't make me a bad person. I'm far from it. I look back and I wish I had waited until I was older than 18... I totally agree, though, that the media is the biggest influence.
Freeze_fml 17
Why are we blaming the media? Did a song tell you go to have sex before you were old enough to drive?
happy_dino 6
Who counts how long they kiss anyway? That's just gay.... >:d It's okay OP! You shouldn't worry(: You'll find someone who will want to kiss you all the time(: Just live life and be happy hanging out with friends!!
IWABO2_ 0
Who counts?
SettoFail 9
HAHA
Dead_damion 0
SECOND! but they mean added up not at once wtf
babylioncub 0
I know the feeling! As of this moment, I've spent exactly 0.00000000 minutes of my kissing, and I'm 17.... :(
zachhi14 0
don't worry dude it's not as bad as me, iv spent like 2 seconds if that, jees I'm pathetic
xoxo_cherri_xoxo 6
op is probably like 12.