Today, I was watching TV when a Dentyne gum commercial came on and stated that the average person spends more than 20,000 minutes kissing. I've spent less than three. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was in the cinema making out with my girlfriend. I asked her if she could stop trying to pass me her gum because it was kinda gross. She replied, "It's not gum, I just have bronchitis." FML
Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend spitting the mouthwash back into the bottle, because, "this stuff is really expensive." FML
Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML
Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML
Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
Today, I talked to my crush for half an hour. It wasn't until I was home that I realised I had some remains of the sausage roll I ate an hour earlier spread all over my teeth. FML
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Top comments
luigisf 0
10-that is right about...a *****. you're too young.
Jessi_the_sexii 0
only 19997 minutes to go(:
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Comments (340)
zooauthor7 0
hey thats better than what i've got: 0 min. :p i just turned 14. i've had a few bfs but still no kiss :/
laurenelaine 0
I've spent more minutes than you. I'm 15.
bahahaa1 0
i've only spent like >2 so yeah(: i sadly win.
JayMorales 0
3 more than me. but I just got a hot girlfriend so I'll be passing you up in a couple days
frezeal33 0
Dude really? Less than three? I have at least spent a couple of hours and I'm 12 and just had my first kiss in March and haven't kissed my gf in 3 weeks... Wowwww
happy_dino 6
Wow.... I'm 12 too and I've never kissed... :d Ummm.... I guess that's a congrats to you?? haha(;
yallz 0
Dont feel bad, I've spent none.
chonnner 0
same here
billybob171717 0
im only in 8th grade, so i cant count all of mine.
billybob171717 0
im only in 8th grade, so i cant count all of mine.
voizz 0
I kiss three times a week and have sex atleast twice lol