Today, I was watching TV when a Dentyne gum commercial came on and stated that the average person spends more than 20,000 minutes kissing. I've spent less than three. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was in the cinema making out with my girlfriend. I asked her if she could stop trying to pass me her gum because it was kinda gross. She replied, "It's not gum, I just have bronchitis." FML
Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend spitting the mouthwash back into the bottle, because, "this stuff is really expensive." FML
Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML
Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML
Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
Today, I talked to my crush for half an hour. It wasn't until I was home that I realised I had some remains of the sausage roll I ate an hour earlier spread all over my teeth. FML
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Top comments
luigisf 0
10-that is right about...a *****. you're too young.
Jessi_the_sexii 0
only 19997 minutes to go(:
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Comments (340)
Dragons_corner 6
20,000 minutes is almost 6 hours. if they mean kissing and not the making out kind of kissing then 6 hours (20,000 mins) means in our hole life. if they mean the making out kissing (which I don't count as kissing) then 6 hours might mean weekly. so if your 20 then you might be alittle behind.
Rhad 0
Nice math...
Dragons_corner 6
lol thanks
justsayfuck 5
'20,000 minutes is almost 6 hours.' Fail.
mitchem 3
ha I can beat that...Ima loser with a total of 0min...booyah....
deathsupon1 0
Ive spent hours and im only a freshman:p
nldawgsccr22795 0
dnt worry about it. and I hate tht commerical it's always onn
JabariG91 0
they said average not below average
lemonzone25 17
They mean by the time you die, dumb*ss!
IPityTheFool 0
Haha fyl, I just turned 15 and I've spent well over 24 hours kissing but I'm not a manwhore me and my ex dated for a year and kissed a lot XD
minnymouse20 13
sameee
awhsum 0
I love that gum x)
ninjadude853 0
I HATE THAT COMMERCIAL!!!!
mintcar 10
Pancakes.