Today, I was watching TV when a Dentyne gum commercial came on and stated that the average person spends more than 20,000 minutes kissing. I've spent less than three. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was in the cinema making out with my girlfriend. I asked her if she could stop trying to pass me her gum because it was kinda gross. She replied, "It's not gum, I just have bronchitis." FML
Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend spitting the mouthwash back into the bottle, because, "this stuff is really expensive." FML
Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML
Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML
Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
Today, I talked to my crush for half an hour. It wasn't until I was home that I realised I had some remains of the sausage roll I ate an hour earlier spread all over my teeth. FML
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Top comments
luigisf 0
10-that is right about...a *****. you're too young.
Jessi_the_sexii 0
only 19997 minutes to go(:
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Comments (340)
SOLDamerican 0
i just saw tht
StayGoldForever 0
I spent about 3 days kissing my whole life. Sophomore at Highschool=p
ivegotanarb 0
you wish
womblebat 2
don't worry OP, you've your whole life to go yet :)
Kgirl2cute 6
I've never been kissed - OP wins! but seriously.. that's in your LIFETIME, idiot.
dwbb96 0
Comment Moderated.
EmilyIsLHAO 0
"I'm only 6 and I have spent over 50000 minutes kissing and I've had 35 boyfriends AND had sex!!!" said the future generations.
evfreak_fml 0
I hope not.
myyprincessxo 4
grossss.
thecoolio505 0
that means that one spends 333 hours kissing, which is 13.875 days which is rounded up to 2 weeks. what you saw on tv is complete bullshit. dw I've spent like 1 minute kissing (but I'm only 13 lol)
serenader 2
I'm only at 11,873 minutes kissing but I'm almost dead...better get busy. And I've spent 2189 minutes keeping track of the first #. It ain't easy staying on top of this stuff if you have a life, but I'm trying.
PplMakeMistakes 2
LOL !!!!
cANIBALIST1C 0
Oh boohoo, Im almost 16 and Ive never kissed a girl, besides my mother when I was a kid.
derkaderk 1
well it depends on how old op is