Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got to the stage in our relationship where she thinks its okay to change her tampon whilst I brush my teeth. FML
Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML
Today, I had to show my husband a video on how to brush your teeth. FML
Today, while at a restaurant, I watched in horror as my daughter picked a hair out of her food and continued eating it. FML
Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML
Today, my girlfriend went in for a kiss too fast and broke my front tooth. FML
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
Today, I saw my dad pick his teeth with a toothpick from a new box. He ate the food he got out of his teeth and put the toothpick back. FML
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Top comments
chickenwalrus 14
does she put the poop back in her butt after she wipes too?
1Brucie 2
Meh you get to kiss her it's your fLoss :)
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Comments (193)
zebraumicornz 6
That's utterly disturbing...
obnum 19
At least her teeth are clean! She's preventing gingivitis :D
Angelrose2004 17
13, I agree. I see people brush their teeth; but rarely floss. Props to OPs girlfriend for at least having good hygiene practices... even if eating leftover food is considered nasty.
MelTheGreat 23
Yeah, girls will try any new, crazy diet.
ruabadfishtoo 0
Somehow I don't think this is a diet...
eternalsunshine2 5
I don't think it's THAT disturbing.. I mean, it was already in her mouth.
XxDevilxXGt 26
Hardly disturbing... Considering when you floss whatever you might pull out is very tiny and probably tastes like nothing, and probably is close to nothing, after being in your saliva for a while. It's no big deal, and it was already in her mouth too.
MikeFoxtrot01594 11
97, I pull out some pretty massive stuff on a regular basis. It isn't always tiny.
XxDevilxXGt 26
well usually after I eat I just feel around with my tongue and create suction to pull out anything that isn't small. Try that sometime :P
broseph_joseph 5
Umm, that's hot?...
ryrock310 10
Not really disturbing. Think about what you do after u use a toothpick. I doubt you usually flick it away. It was already in her teeth. If you got it out with your tongue that WOULNT be gross to swallow. What's the difference??
StoryOfTheYear 15
Actually there has been scientific evidence suggesting that OP has a right to be terrified if this habit. When a slight space is filled between your teeth by something for long periods of time (i.e. slivers of food stuck between teeth) a strange anomaly consisting of a series of chemical reactions occur with the carbohydrates, fat, and saliva that cause your gums to emit a small, almost unnoticeable amount of anthrax. It occurs in such a small amount that it had previously gone unnoticed by even the most renowned chemists and dentists. This does not mean it has no adverse affects on your long term health. Over time this will build up in your small intestine and require costly surgery or be at risk of fatal health complications. Normally we flick away these small specks of hazardous leftover food, but people like OP's girlfriend may be able to live a longer, healthier life by avoiding this habit of finishing off what was left of a seemingly harmless meal. Paid for by Scientists and Chemists Against Meat Scraps. Please feel free to donate to the cause on my highly prestigious organization by messaging me with your preferred form of donating. Cheers.
StoryOfTheYear 15
And before anyone is confused, yes, literally anthrax is sprouting from the gums. The disease itself comes forth spontaneously... This is a serious development, and must not be taken lightly. Again, just follow the directions of the previous comment to donate to this cause.
_streets_ 19
134 - Your comment is way to long for me to thumb you up or down.
StoryOfTheYear 15
I'm not here for a thumb either way. All I want is support for my cause.
mydadpulledout 17
138- With you having over 4000 comments, I highly doubt your "cause" even exists, and I highly doubt that you're not saying that shit just for attention.
StoryOfTheYear 15
156- Not as much for attention, more for amusement. Obviously it's not real... Why would meat stuck between your teeth actually cause anthrax?
ryrock310 10
156- It was really unnecessary.... I mean. It wasn't funny and it took more effort for you than it should have.
Vimy 6
It all sounded like Wikipedia talking right up until "Scientists and Chemists Against Meat Scraps".
chickenwalrus 14
does she put the poop back in her butt after she wipes too?
CallMeMcFeelii 14
You don't? Now I feel like an outcast..
blcksocks 19
First we saw the booger eating FMLs, then the ones with people putting their fingers in their ears and smelling them, and now this floss thing.. At this rate we might as well see a "putting it back in the butt" FML as #2 pointed out..
SqueakyChipmunk 22
I bet she hangs her toilet paper out to dry.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
On 'extreme cheapskates' one woman used "reusable" toilet paper *shudder*
ShyAnn29 15
73, I have seen that show, some of those people were disgusting!
OhSunshinex3 13
Probably!
hollywoodt1ts 15
that's so ******* sick. I'm bout to puke. haha.
1Brucie 2
Meh you get to kiss her it's your fLoss :)
geon_olam 17
At the very least, your pun deserves a commemorative plaque.
dinorider_fml 4
Ain't that the tooth
idgaf528 6
I see what you did there^
beef25967 2
Did she ask you if you wanted any?
Iniezian 18
Um, WTF? You should tell her that it's not very healthy. And completely disgusting.
gc327072 31
Sometimes, tooth is stranger than fiction.
xNephilim 19
I don't think it's unhealthy. Kind of gross, but all the stuff you floss out of your teeth is food anyway, so unhealthy.... Not so much.
CoolBroStory 7
That's nasty.
JerryH 9
-Cleveland Brown
gmc_blossom 21
107- Oh, good. I'm not the only one who reads that phrase in his voice.
kittycat1597 10
I was eating while I read this. I have no appetite now.
tehhboss 6
That's disgusting. I would throw up watching that.
CantusVulpis 12
Idk, this FML highly nauseates me. X( I wouldn't call it over dramatic.
AtomicRebirth 11
Can't let good food go to waste.
SirEskimo 13
Waste not, want not
supportcommand 17
I agree. Sometimes after eating chicken wings some large pieces can be picked out from between your teeth. Who wants to waste chicken wing pieces?
Snoopy0718 14
63, 9 already used that line...
SirEskimo 13
130- I didn't scroll down that far, sorry for offending you
Demonfish 14
Well, waste not, want not, eh :P
HouseElf 13
I feel like I've seen you comment the exact same thing but for a different, less relevant FML.
Demonfish 14
Do you? I can't say I've committed many of my past comments to memory, so I wouldn't know. Sorry.
kdog333 1
hey, a girls gotta eat!