Today, I was watching TV when a Dentyne gum commercial came on and stated that the average person spends more than 20,000 minutes kissing. I've spent less than three. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was in the cinema making out with my girlfriend. I asked her if she could stop trying to pass me her gum because it was kinda gross. She replied, "It's not gum, I just have bronchitis." FML
Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend spitting the mouthwash back into the bottle, because, "this stuff is really expensive." FML
Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML
Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML
Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
Today, I talked to my crush for half an hour. It wasn't until I was home that I realised I had some remains of the sausage roll I ate an hour earlier spread all over my teeth. FML
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Top comments
luigisf 0
10-that is right about...a *****. you're too young.
Jessi_the_sexii 0
only 19997 minutes to go(:
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Comments (340)
tcmate 0
that's because your 13. stop acting like you matter at 13.
ashleyh1122 5
yea I doubt that's even true. They just want u to buy their gum. Probs trying to make u think u will spend more time kissing if u buy their gum ;P
mitchiv13 0
hahahaha I've spent longer kissing than u and I'm 13 bitches!!!!!!!
ohwellyouknow 0
me too! :
hawty12345 0
148; wow ur a loser bragging about that. it's pathetic anyway I've had oral sex and I'm 12! beat dat xP
Freeze_fml 17
You're a ****.
myyprincessxo 4
150, oral sex at 12? your pathetic. I'm sorry. nothing to brag about. sorry Hun, nobodies impressed.
UpYoursInAdvance 0
150 I swear if you're serious then you might as well stop by my way cause I know some people that'll take advantage of girls like you.
happy_dino 6
Can someone say SLUUUUUT!!??!?!!? Damn 150! I'm 13 and I've never had a real relationship!! That is NOT something to be proud of... >:(
remy3106 10
yea u should at least wait until ur 15 like meee
Freeze_fml 17
Please die.
Schizomaniac 24
195, I think Freeze really wants you dead.
remy3106 10
I was joking, gosh!!! and I know lol Shitzomatic he really Hayes me and idk why
remy3106 10
hates*
remy3106 10
shitzomaniac** I fail!!!
mionee95 0
dont worry, you have plenty of time to catch up on those minutes :P and thats the "average" person, who wants to be average? just be yourself (:
happy_dino 6
I totally agree!! (:
Spierdalaj 7
I'm 17 and I've spent 0 mins. The opportunity has come up several times but I was never intereted in the guys. It doesn't bother me. :)
xXxbiancaxXx 0
how old are u?!!!?? if you've only spent three min kissing?!? O.O
UpYoursInAdvance 0
OKay???.... And why did this get published?!?!?!???
DontHateMeBecaus 0
wow sadly me too but I'm 13 so I have all my life.