Today, I was excited to get my first writing assignment since starting law school. I found out that I have to write a paper defending free speech. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to defend the Westboro Baptist Church and if I weren't a former Marine. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized the topic for my 1750-word essay could end up offending people, and I had to start all over from the beginning with a different topic. FML
Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML
Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML
Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML
Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML
Today, I had to write an argumentative essay about the morality of homosexuality. The prompt actually uses the phrase "the dangers of homosexuality." I'm bisexual. FML
Today, I got a writing assignment back. After meeting with my professor specially after class and meticulously combing through every word of that paper, I got a low D. Turns out, he graded me down on every suggestion of his that I took. FML
Today, I got paper thrown at me because I didn't agree with my classmate's conspiracy theory that Brian Griffin's death was planned by the illuminati. FML
Today, I finally got a reply to the letter to a celebrity that I had to write for my English class. It was a restraining order. FML
Today, my Platoon Sergeant caught me unshaved, so now I have to write a 1000 word essay on "The importance of shaving." FML
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Top comments
primadonna9396 16
Yeah, part of being a lawyer is finding ways to defend people who are the scum of the earth. That's why they make the big bucks
darkgodxvx 4
Welcome to due process. Enjoy your stay.
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Comments (338)
Objectofdespair 1
Semper Fi bro
Sai_Run614 7
Just stick to time place and manner arguments.
jevmsv 6
Oohrah Marine...that sucks that you had to do that, but we know that you'd kick their asses if you could!
Factor_fml 6
Doesn't the free speech have certain limitations? There is censorship in media where they will paint black squares over nudity and beep out swear words to protect the public's sensibilities. Some jobs, including government ones, ask you to write a non-disclosure agreement to keep their secrets safe. You need a clearance to perform public protests... Why don't you mention that in your paper, OP? After all, you're entitled to your free speech. Use your own paper as an example. They're free to say whatever they want, and you're free to say whatever you want about that. Oh wait. I forgot. You aren't free. You're bound to write that paper if you want to complete that assignment. Muahahahaha.
cosmosis 12
I will use my free speech to say shut up chief. Youre not making much sense
sduke1103 4
Semper fi. I say turn in a sheet of paper expressing the right to free speech yet not defending what they do. Then turn it in with and ega stamped on it. Or just turn in a blank sheet of paper and get an f. I would choose the f personally
sillyyanks 24
Make comparisons with other religious institutions (It shouldn't be hard in America should it!).
kwinkler08 1
Those assholes showed up at my brother's funeral. He was killed in Iraq. I hope you can get a good grade without having to provide them any sort of defense. They should all be tried for treason and the families that they terrorize should get to shoot them in a firing line. Thank you for your service.
marinewife519 12
That's horriable. So sorry for your loss :(
outoftown 27
#83, Sympathies on the loss of your brother and the hideous disrespect shown to him and your family by the Westboro Baptist Church nutcases. Your family's experience and OP's assignment highlight how high the price of freedom of speech can be.
jaycooter 0
As a attorney is is part of your job to be unbiased. Freedom speech is everyone's right, whether or not you agree with their position. Did you somehow fail to learn this during 3 years of law school? YDI
Mearemoi 14
It says no where that OP attended law school for three years. Learn to read, dumbass.
jaycooter 0
I would love to tell you exactly what you are, but this site does indeed censor. However it begins with a C and ends with T and you are a really big one LMFAO
daybar12 8
Did you somehow fail to read the part of the post where it says"on my FIRST day of law school.." ?
sillyyanks 24
SIT DOWN AND SUCK IT UP MARINE!
babyshaft408 8
Haha god loves dead Soldiers as the church would say #imjustsayen